Every time I think of looking for work I get this fear and dread, and someone saying No, don't I don't want you to get a job. I figure its from God, but I don't want to be homeless. I know Jesus was homeless and many other disciples doing Gods work, I have been jobless for 3 weeks now, and I get this spiritual premonition that if I do it will be bad and I will suffer more then what I already am suffering. I am sick of suffering and I can't deal with it for much longer, I have so much anger and hate even, I catch myself asking God why He is doing this to me or letting it happen, my hope is dying and I am so overcome with sadness and I keep hearing I am a fool, and stupid, and so many other torments. I am lonely as well, so being 34 and single and this much pain makes me also think I will never find a suitable wife, I feel so trapped. My options are suffer from homelessness, loneliness, and not knowing what to eat, OR work and suffer from a worse future, loneliness, and farther separation from God.