A "Personal Relationship" with God is not biblical

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#1
This thread has nothing to do with any of my previous posts. This is just something that's been on my mind lately.

The idea of a "personal relationship" with God may be popular. But just because something is popular doesn't mean it's biblical. For one thing, the idea itself never appears in the bible. In fact, whether you like it or not, the bible says Christianity is a religion, a good religion. James 1:26

I think this idea has done serious damage to the modern church. It results in us turning God into a therapist and trying to mold him into our own image. A "relationship" with God is done on his terms. It doesn't matter whether or not you like that. I may not like the way God does certain things, but I'm not the creator of the universe.

But more than just the words, the idea behind them is wrong. Consider this: if a “personal relationship with Jesus” is the solution, what is the problem? Maybe the problem is that you are lonely, or your life is empty, you feel meaningless, unimportant, and insignificant, hopeless with no direction. The personal relationship with Jesus promises to fix these problems, to fill the hole in your life that only Jesus can fill, to give your life meaning and direction. These are all the promises being offered. And now, with this personal relationship with Jesus, there is two-way communication where God will talk directly to you. You will be filled and fulfilled. Your life will have meaning and direction, you will be transformed. And you will directly experience the presence and the power of God, all of this if we make a decision for Christ, if we surrender our life to Him, if we make Him the Lord of our life.

I think that this summarizes Christianity for most Americans. And some of this sounds good. You might have that angst grinding up against your own soul, I suspect we all do in one way or another. None of us know what tomorrow may bring. None of us see completely how our lives fit in to the big picture of the universe. All of us have times of loneliness. But if this is our biggest problem, then Jesus wouldn’t need to die; He could just come and hang out.

But Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep, and this means that the problem is much bigger than we might think. Jesus is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, the Lamb who has been slain. Jesus is the One who hands Himself over to the shame of the cross, because our biggest problem is not our isolation. It is our sin running face-first into the holiness of God. God’s wrath is our real problem, because of our sin, and Jesus and His death and resurrection is our only possible hope.

To add to that, God is only my Lord and Savior, not my friend or anything like that.

The fact is, Jesus doesn’t make for a very good companion. He doesn’t talk back to you. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes. He doesn’t playfully hit you when you pretend to do something mean. He doesn’t show you something you’ve missed in the latest movie you saw, or make an insightful comment about the news. He doesn’t dance with you or sing for you or applaud when you play him a song on the violin. He doesn’t hug you or kiss you or hold your hand.

I think we can get carried away by the idea of God being our all. Yes, He is, but as God: not as friend, lover, or companion.

Even Adam, unfallen and enjoying complete communion with God, was lonely in the garden.

The modern hymn calls Jesus a "friend" and some may appeal to a verse in John where Jesus calls his disciples "friends". But the understanding of the word is decontextualized. People of the time of the Bible did not "get to know" each other as modern persons in the West do. A "friend" meant a person who looked out for your practical interests -- not someone you had beer and watched football with.

I would say that what is required of us is a patronal relationship with Jesus. The New Testament explains our relationship with God in terms of a client-patron relationship, one in which God, patron, is remote; and Jesus, as a broker, mediates between ourselves and God. Then we do have the indwelling Holy Spirit as a broker as well; but though the Spirit supplies us with mediation and perhaps power, there is nothing to show that the Spirit is some sort of intimate conversation partner.

And finally, since people of the ancient world seldom "got to know each other" personally (as is taken for granted in modern, Western society) there is no way that New Testament writers could have had an idea like a "personal relationship with Jesus" in mind in the first place -- not as we perceive it. The word "personal" is so broad in meaning that it could include a "patronal" relationship; but that is obviously not what most people have in mind when they use the word. They usually mean something like, God is approachable in the same way one of your sports buddies is. It is not the words that are so much the issue as the particulars of expression.

The purpose of coming to Christ is not happiness, joy, all the feel good emotions we love. It is for the forgiveness and atonement for sin.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,614
9,127
113
#2
I guess you are not known by Him or know Him.

Everywhere I go, I take Jesus with me, because He is in me, and I in Him.

And through Him I can pray to my Father in Heaven and He hears because of my "relationship" to His Son. The curtain is torn between Him and me because of Jesus's completed work.

So I feel sorry for you for not having an intimate relationship with Christ.
 
Sep 9, 2018
2,244
1,032
113
71
Illinois
#3
This thread has nothing to do with any of my previous posts. This is just something that's been on my mind lately.

The idea of a "personal relationship" with God may be popular. But just because something is popular doesn't mean it's biblical. For one thing, the idea itself never appears in the bible. In fact, whether you like it or not, the bible says Christianity is a religion, a good religion. James 1:26

I think this idea has done serious damage to the modern church. It results in us turning God into a therapist and trying to mold him into our own image. A "relationship" with God is done on his terms. It doesn't matter whether or not you like that. I may not like the way God does certain things, but I'm not the creator of the universe.

But more than just the words, the idea behind them is wrong. Consider this: if a “personal relationship with Jesus” is the solution, what is the problem? Maybe the problem is that you are lonely, or your life is empty, you feel meaningless, unimportant, and insignificant, hopeless with no direction. The personal relationship with Jesus promises to fix these problems, to fill the hole in your life that only Jesus can fill, to give your life meaning and direction. These are all the promises being offered. And now, with this personal relationship with Jesus, there is two-way communication where God will talk directly to you. You will be filled and fulfilled. Your life will have meaning and direction, you will be transformed. And you will directly experience the presence and the power of God, all of this if we make a decision for Christ, if we surrender our life to Him, if we make Him the Lord of our life.

I think that this summarizes Christianity for most Americans. And some of this sounds good. You might have that angst grinding up against your own soul, I suspect we all do in one way or another. None of us know what tomorrow may bring. None of us see completely how our lives fit in to the big picture of the universe. All of us have times of loneliness. But if this is our biggest problem, then Jesus wouldn’t need to die; He could just come and hang out.

But Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep, and this means that the problem is much bigger than we might think. Jesus is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, the Lamb who has been slain. Jesus is the One who hands Himself over to the shame of the cross, because our biggest problem is not our isolation. It is our sin running face-first into the holiness of God. God’s wrath is our real problem, because of our sin, and Jesus and His death and resurrection is our only possible hope.

To add to that, God is only my Lord and Savior, not my friend or anything like that.

The fact is, Jesus doesn’t make for a very good companion. He doesn’t talk back to you. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes. He doesn’t playfully hit you when you pretend to do something mean. He doesn’t show you something you’ve missed in the latest movie you saw, or make an insightful comment about the news. He doesn’t dance with you or sing for you or applaud when you play him a song on the violin. He doesn’t hug you or kiss you or hold your hand.

I think we can get carried away by the idea of God being our all. Yes, He is, but as God: not as friend, lover, or companion.

Even Adam, unfallen and enjoying complete communion with God, was lonely in the garden.

The modern hymn calls Jesus a "friend" and some may appeal to a verse in John where Jesus calls his disciples "friends". But the understanding of the word is decontextualized. People of the time of the Bible did not "get to know" each other as modern persons in the West do. A "friend" meant a person who looked out for your practical interests -- not someone you had beer and watched football with.

I would say that what is required of us is a patronal relationship with Jesus. The New Testament explains our relationship with God in terms of a client-patron relationship, one in which God, patron, is remote; and Jesus, as a broker, mediates between ourselves and God. Then we do have the indwelling Holy Spirit as a broker as well; but though the Spirit supplies us with mediation and perhaps power, there is nothing to show that the Spirit is some sort of intimate conversation partner.

And finally, since people of the ancient world seldom "got to know each other" personally (as is taken for granted in modern, Western society) there is no way that New Testament writers could have had an idea like a "personal relationship with Jesus" in mind in the first place -- not as we perceive it. The word "personal" is so broad in meaning that it could include a "patronal" relationship; but that is obviously not what most people have in mind when they use the word. They usually mean something like, God is approachable in the same way one of your sports buddies is. It is not the words that are so much the issue as the particulars of expression.

The purpose of coming to Christ is not happiness, joy, all the feel good emotions we love. It is for the forgiveness and atonement for sin.
The great failing of all the ecclesiastical, dead churches is the idea that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world. Well, Paul says different . . . he says that HE WAS CRUCIFIED with Christ. Growing up I bought into the idea of a dead Jesus hanging on a crucifix, but I did not catch hold of the fact that He died for everybody . . . but praise God . . . He died for ME! In other words, if I were the only sinner that lived on the earth - and everyone else were perfectly sinless - He would have still gone to the cross FOR ME!!!!

It wasn't until I understood that fact that my salvation became real. It is sad that so many do not have salvation, but have slavation to their concept of obedience to the Law . . . or church membership in some cases.

My salvation is a personal salvation - hence, I have a personal relationship with my Saviour.

You could do if you would only come to Calvary just as you are.
 
Sep 9, 2018
2,244
1,032
113
71
Illinois
#4
I would say that what is required of us is a patronal relationship with Jesus. The New Testament explains our relationship with God in terms of a client-patron relationship, one in which God, patron, is remote; and Jesus, as a broker, mediates between ourselves and God. Then we do have the indwelling Holy Spirit as a broker as well; but though the Spirit supplies us with mediation and perhaps power, there is nothing to show that the Spirit is some sort of intimate conversation partner.
Patronal definition, a person who is a customer, client, or paying guest, especially a regular one, of a store, hotel, or the like.

Nope, you can not buy your way into heaven . . .

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price" (Isaiah 55:1).
 
Mar 28, 2016
15,954
1,528
113
#5
The idea of a "personal relationship" with God may be popular. But just because something is popular doesn't mean it's biblical. For one thing, the idea itself never appears in the bible. In fact, whether you like it or not, the bible says Christianity is a religion, a good religion. James 1:26
Yes in respect to the next verse( 27). The kind of religion (belief) God puts his seal of approval on.

The church signified as the mother of us all...as in birth pains holds out the incorruptible seed by which all men are born again from above (the gospel) This is in a living hope God will cause the growth. Therefore in order to visit those who have no heavenly father as widows not engaged to our husband, Christ. He is a father to the fatherless and a husband to those who know not Christ. That's personal to me. Special care goes to those believers who are afflicted .

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#6
The great failing of all the ecclesiastical, dead churches is the idea that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world. Well, Paul says different . . . he says that HE WAS CRUCIFIED with Christ. Growing up I bought into the idea of a dead Jesus hanging on a crucifix, but I did not catch hold of the fact that He died for everybody . . . but praise God . . . He died for ME! In other words, if I were the only sinner that lived on the earth - and everyone else were perfectly sinless - He would have still gone to the cross FOR ME!!!!

It wasn't until I understood that fact that my salvation became real. It is sad that so many do not have salvation, but have slavation to their concept of obedience to the Law . . . or church membership in some cases.

My salvation is a personal salvation - hence, I have a personal relationship with my Saviour.

You could do if you would only come to Calvary just as you are.
I know people on this site who know they're saved by grace and did everything they were told to do in order to have a relationship with God, but they never felt emotionally close to him like that, for years.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#7
Yes in respect to the next verse( 27). The kind of religion (belief) God puts his seal of approval on.

The church signified as the mother of us all...as in birth pains holds out the incorruptible seed by which all men are born again from above (the gospel) This is in a living hope God will cause the growth. Therefore in order to visit those who have no heavenly father as widows not engaged to our husband, Christ. He is a father to the fatherless and a husband to those who know not Christ. That's personal to me. Special care goes to those believers who are afflicted .

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
Jesus is no one's husband or boyfriend.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,574
13,551
113
58
#8
I guess you are not known by Him or know Him.

Everywhere I go, I take Jesus with me, because He is in me, and I in Him.

And through Him I can pray to my Father in Heaven and He hears because of my "relationship" to His Son. The curtain is torn between Him and me because of Jesus's completed work.

So I feel sorry for you for not having an intimate relationship with Christ.
In John 17:3, we read - John 17:3 - And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent (which is an intimate, experiential knowledge, found only in a relationship). The term "know" implies intimate, experiential knowledge, through a relationship with Him, not merely theoretical knowledge.
 
Mar 28, 2016
15,954
1,528
113
#9
Jesus is no one's husband or boyfriend.
I think you meant to say he is not yours .

Paul as a surrogate Mother suffered as in birth pain until Christ our husband's spiritual seed was formed in Timothy who previously was a widow (no husband ) but became a member as a chaste virgin bride to Christ.

That sounds personal to me. Jesus our friend who does what true friends do love at all times.

2 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.
 
E

eternally-gratefull

Guest
#10
I know people on this site who know they're saved by grace and did everything they were told to do in order to have a relationship with God, but they never felt emotionally close to him like that, for years.
If they are doing stuff in order to have a relationship with God, they are trying to earn this right,, They have not given it to God, they are trying to do it themselves.

This should be ones first clue.
 
E

eternally-gratefull

Guest
#12
Paul said we can come to our Abba Father. This is a term of endearment a father has with his child. This is a personal relationship. The counter according to paul is comming to God in the spirit of fear or by our performance. If we are good and obey, we re ok, if not, we are doomed.
 

ljs

Member
Jan 13, 2018
310
443
63
#13
@History princess

I agree with the last line of your post , Believing the Gospel & coming to Christ is for the forgiveness of sin that he offers!

For me personally , once I accepted Christ as my saviour , I did have joy , peace and inner happiness , not all the time of course , and its not the reason I believed , but its an inner peace , that I dont even understand really . Just going thru my daily stuff , I find myself talking to Jesus , even just in my mind sometimes , and there have been so many times when Ive had questions about my faith , but he has always been faithful to show me what i was searching for !
 
Sep 9, 2018
2,244
1,032
113
71
Illinois
#14
I know people on this site who know they're saved by grace and did everything they were told to do in order to have a relationship with God, but they never felt emotionally close to him like that, for years.
The immediate few days after being saved there is a feeling almost akin to euphoria. Everything shines brighter, the grass looks greener, the flowers smell nicer . . . but face it, one second after you are saved you (we) start to backslide. Nothing will ever equal the first few moments of breathing God's air.

It's like the emotional rush I received right after taking the bandages off following my cataract surgery. Man! I wore glasses for 40 years and all of a sudden I'm 20/20! Nothing can describe what it was like.

Then there will be those first seconds after we enter God's physical heaven . . . except . . . that will never lose it's shine!
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
16,724
10,531
113
78
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#15
I know people on this site who know they're saved by grace and did everything they were told to do in order to have a relationship with God, but they never felt emotionally close to him like that, for years.
I have one verse here that suggests we can have a personal relationship with Christ:

John 15:15 "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." I rest my case.


green-yes-text-smiley-emoticon.gif
 
Sep 9, 2018
2,244
1,032
113
71
Illinois
#16
They probably didn't have many of the idiomatic phrases that are so common in the present century.
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
37,975
13,626
113
#17
Jesus is no one's husband or boyfriend.
not yet my Husband, at the moment we're only engaged :)

Romans 7:4
Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, [even] to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

2 Corinthians 11:2
For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present [you as] a chaste virgin to Christ.
 
Sep 9, 2018
2,244
1,032
113
71
Illinois
#18
not yet my Husband, at the moment we're only engaged :)

Romans 7:4
Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, [even] to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

2 Corinthians 11:2
For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present [you as] a chaste virgin to Christ.
Mary was espoused (engaged) to Joseph, but they were still legally married at that time.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#19
wonder what brought this op on ?!?

so depressing

thankfully it is not true for the believer in Christ Jesus

many list themself as Christian, but they mean that as opposed to muslim or cult

they are not saved and therefore do not have a relationship with their Creator

The purpose of coming to Christ is not happiness, joy, all the feel good emotions we love. It is for the forgiveness and atonement for sin.
when was the last time you acually flipped a page in a Bible? any Bible?

they all disagree with you
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#20
well, considering the following verses from scripture and knowing they are just a small reminder of the continuing love of God and His desire for us to fellowship with Him, I would say that God is not cold or distant and does desire to be close to us.

God is not a spectator and we were saved by His plan because of His love and those who know Him, do have a personal relationship with Him


I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. Proverbs 8:17

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Psalm 84:11

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Jeremiah 29:11

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. John 14:23

But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4: 9-11

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. I John 4:16