Sometimes, Jesus has to rub us raw, like sandpaper, to fully understand the refining process. Jesus will also separate those who are not ready from those who are. See 2 Corinthians 6:14
Jesus asked me to unyoke and leave my husband because of things that we were experiencing at the time in our marriage. I left for my God and Jesus brought him back to me 6 months later. Since our separation, I see the changes that have occurred in him and in me. Jesus asked me to trust him in leaving and I did. Now I see what works HE was doing in our marriage.
I understand what you are going through. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. In the meantime, here are some scriptures for you. Prayer and communion with Jesus will help as well. May God bless and keep you.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight."
Psalm 34:17-18 "The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
1 Peter 5:7-9 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings."
2 Corinthians 4:16 "Therefore, do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (Fix your eyes 4:18)