When you're the cause of someone's distance from God?

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

Most of us at various points in our walk have taken the Lord's Name in vain.

That's what it is when we claim His Name, by professing to be Christian, and then commit willful sin.

The good news is that you ARE forgiven, and your Father loves you. He has drawn you back to His sweet embrace.

As to the man you were with?

Show him this post you have written. The Lord may allow him to understand that you do love him, and it is out of that love that you broke it off. And maybe He will accept Jesus as a result. But show him.

Holy Father, I lift up Your daughter to you in prayer, and ask that You heal any wounds she has over this issue. Please use her, us, and everything else in Your Kingdom to reach this lost man. In Jesus powerful Name I pray.

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.