I don't know

I have nothing to go on,
this isn't how things are usually done,
and not normal circumstances.

When does it become real
to the point of where I can see you,
feel, touch, and hear?
..Already, It's been so many years,
can you blame me for not
knowing?

You expect me to just jump into
this equation and to know what
you are doing.
I'm suppose to get with the program,
but I'm just confused,
I'm so lost...
with the question,
is it really you?

It's a world unconventional,
where I am expected to be unconditional.
I don't know if I'm going crazy,
I don't know you,
but I do.

I feel drawn,
but have my doubts,
because there is not
enough proof to draw a conclusion.

Why do you do this?
Why can't we just meet?
If this is important to you,
why won't you just talk to me?
why can't this be exclusive,
without all of these games.

I don't want to be where I'm unwanted,
and I don't belong.
I'm so lost..

I feel as though I'm going crazy,
barely holding this mind together,
I could give you everything
if I had more than intangible dreams.
when will this become a real thing?

I don't even know if it was for me,
I have my doubts, maybe not, maybe?
Frustrations arise, and fear.

I don't know...

Lord, let your daughter feel Your Presence in unmistakable ways. She is one of Your sheep wandering, waiting, for You to come and lovingly usher her under Your watchful Home. In Jesus Name I pray.