My Testimony - Suicide and Self Harm

Before I begin, I want to give some background info. I'm a 15 year old male, and I struggle with suicided and self harm.

I wanted to share my testimony, because in the greek the word testimony is translated literally, "Do it again". Testimonies in a way are similar to prophecies, because God wants to duplicate our testimonies. I believe there is someone here who will read this, and read what God has done for me regarding this issue, and they will turn to Him and he will also. So, without further ado, here we go.

My journey with self harm began when I was about 7 years old, and I cut myself for the first time. I was really upset with the way I looked. I didn't like my body. I tried to change it.

When I was about 10, I was diagnosed with cancer. Following that, I attempted to hang myself from my coat rack attached to my bedroom wall. I was light, so it held me up. This is my first physical encounter with God. I felt a strong blow of wind, and it knocked me off of the rack and onto the floor before I died. My older sister ran to the noise, and she found me on the floor with a rope around my neck. She stills says to this day, that was the most traumatic experience of her life. God saved me that day. I would have died.

Now, moving on. Lets go to 13 years old. In this timeframe from 7 to 13, I've attempted suicide 11 times. I've failed each one. So, I'm 13 now. I'm in school, and a group of guys takes my books and throws them down the back stairs where I was walking. They throw me down the staircase and begin to beat me. They mock me because of my scars on my wrists and stomach and take my shirt and sweatshirt, making all my scars visible. I wanted to disappear. I didn't know what to do. I got my things and I left unannounced. I ran home and stayed there. I had to walk through the entire school to get out the door, and it was just like in a movie. Everyone whispering, talking, laughing at me. At my scars. Everyone thought I was this happy kid, always had a smile on his face. I was. But, it was all a show.

But, God used me. He used me to cast depression out of the youth in my High School. He has used me to do so many things, I can't begin to name them all. I can't begin to tell you how amazing God is. This God that I serve is greater than any sickness, greater than any disease, greater than anything that is wrong with the world.

In my youth group, when I was in 8th grade, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues, the whole deal. It changed my life, and it set me on fire for youth revival. I want to see a whole generation who rises up and takes the microphone from all of the corrupt teachings of the world, instead they focus on the fire of God. I want to see a whole generation set ablaze for the Kingdom of God. I strive to see this in my city.

God, I speak against any foul spirit that is following all who reads this. I cast these spirits out in the name of Jesus. I pray that you would set their hearts on fire for your Word and for your Message, Jesus. I want to declare a holy boldness on all who stumble upon my testimony. I pray that this be duplicated for anyone, not just teenagers, facing these issues. I speak healing, and I speak a sound mind into all of your faithful servants right now in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I pray all of these things in the mighty, holy, and healing name of Christ Jesus. Amen!

God Bless,
Gabe.

Before I begin, I want to give some background info. I'm a 15 year old male, and I struggle with suicided and self harm.

I wanted to share my testimony, because in the greek the word testimony is translated literally, "Do it again". Testimonies in a way are similar to prophecies, because God wants to duplicate our testimonies. I believe there is someone here who will read this, and read what God has done for me regarding this issue, and they will turn to Him and he will also. So, without further ado, here we go.

My journey with self harm began when I was about 7 years old, and I cut myself for the first time. I was really upset with the way I looked. I didn't like my body. I tried to change it.

When I was about 10, I was diagnosed with cancer. Following that, I attempted to hang myself from my coat rack attached to my bedroom wall. I was light, so it held me up. This is my first physical encounter with God. I felt a strong blow of wind, and it knocked me off of the rack and onto the floor before I died. My older sister ran to the noise, and she found me on the floor with a rope around my neck. She stills says to this day, that was the most traumatic experience of her life. God saved me that day. I would have died.

Now, moving on. Lets go to 13 years old. In this timeframe from 7 to 13, I've attempted suicide 11 times. I've failed each one. So, I'm 13 now. I'm in school, and a group of guys takes my books and throws them down the back stairs where I was walking. They throw me down the staircase and begin to beat me. They mock me because of my scars on my wrists and stomach and take my shirt and sweatshirt, making all my scars visible. I wanted to disappear. I didn't know what to do. I got my things and I left unannounced. I ran home and stayed there. I had to walk through the entire school to get out the door, and it was just like in a movie. Everyone whispering, talking, laughing at me. At my scars. Everyone thought I was this happy kid, always had a smile on his face. I was. But, it was all a show.

But, God used me. He used me to cast depression out of the youth in my High School. He has used me to do so many things, I can't begin to name them all. I can't begin to tell you how amazing God is. This God that I serve is greater than any sickness, greater than any disease, greater than anything that is wrong with the world.

In my youth group, when I was in 8th grade, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues, the whole deal. It changed my life, and it set me on fire for youth revival. I want to see a whole generation who rises up and takes the microphone from all of the corrupt teachings of the world, instead they focus on the fire of God. I want to see a whole generation set ablaze for the Kingdom of God. I strive to see this in my city.

God, I speak against any foul spirit that is following all who reads this. I cast these spirits out in the name of Jesus. I pray that you would set their hearts on fire for your Word and for your Message, Jesus. I want to declare a holy boldness on all who stumble upon my testimony. I pray that this be duplicated for anyone, not just teenagers, facing these issues. I speak healing, and I speak a sound mind into all of your faithful servants right now in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I pray all of these things in the mighty, holy, and healing name of Christ Jesus. Amen!

God Bless,
Gabe.

This is very radical, 11 suicides attempts that never succeeded? You've been through a lot at such young age and God always intervened, thanks to Him. I mean I experienced hell in my life also from " anxiety disorder" but yours was way too much. Im really blessed by your story , young man...I believe Jesus will use you in such a might way for this generation.....there are many individuals who are still suffering from depressions, anxiety, ocd, bipolar, mental illness etc.....These people need the healing touch of God and your testimony. .....God bless

It was prophesied over me that I would lead a revival for this generation. Thank you so much!!!

Tell me the whole story about this prophecy of yours. It looks exciting regarding this story. God bless

I'll share the word. I have it saved.

I hear God telling me, “You must answer the call. You must depart from the crowd. You must denounce the unjust. You must carry the torch. I shall open up the floodgates of Heaven over all of you. You just have to ask for Me. You must seek me first above all else, and you shall receive what you have shook my kingdom for. You’ll receive what you have been called to bring to this Generation. You will bring to them only what I have sent you. I have sent you for the sole purpose of marking those of this generation’s heads with oil. I have sent you to transfer fire from the old and the wise to the young and the bold. I have sent all of you here tonight to send a message to the enemy: This generation is about to make their move. This generation is about to move across this nation. These young people will fill their schools with the gospel. They shall not be afraid of man, but rather feed off of them. They will captivate audiences with the Truth of God and they will not hesitate to prophesy as I call them to. They will not be fearful to be abnormal. They shall not fear anything at all; but rather find excitement in spreading the message of the Kingdom of God. I am going to pour out My spirit on all flesh and blood. The nations shall be saved. They shall be renewed. They shall be restored. They shall not fear to witness to the masses of unbelievers. They shall not fear what their friends will think of them; the opinions of those around them pale in comparison to what I have for them. They will not worry about the enemy. Any attacks of the enemy shall not prosper; shall not weaken them in faith, but they will turn their eyes to the hills, and return to the secret place where I welcome them with open arms. They will bring change. They will be the start of this move of My spirit. It starts with them. Not just a few of them, no, but all of them. Each one must make the choice to either accept My spirit and thrive for My Kingdom in a world of the corrupt and evil, or to turn away from the Truth of My Word and fall into sin.

There is a cloud beginning to swell among you. There is a mighty storm of My presence beginning to form in the earth. There is a Word growing in your youth. There is a mighty wind blowing through My young people. You mustn’t rebuke them, rather let them speak. You mustn’t speak over them, rather let the Spirit speak through them. This generation needs to construct a place for Me. They need to build a place for Me to commune with them. Build Me a place. Build Me a place. Build Me a place.

You mean there's a prophet who told you this thing? How the whole thing happened? This is very interesting if you give the full story behind this. What I mean, did you receive this prohecy when having a youth camp or just in your church when Devine service during Sunday?

This is very radical, 11 suicides attempts that never succeeded? You've been through a lot at such young age and God always intervened, thanks to Him. I mean I experienced hell in my life also from " anxiety disorder" but yours was way too much. Im really blessed by your story , young man...I believe Jesus will use you in such a might way for this generation.....there are many individuals who are still suffering from depressions, anxiety, ocd, bipolar, mental illness etc.....These people need the healing touch of God and your testimony. .....God bless