WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU GET THE MILK FOR FREE?

But sometimes you get so fed up with their complaining about being in the ditch that you just don't want to hear it any more.

I mean sure, they like being in the ditch, that's their choice. But some people complain so much, for so long, about the ditch, that eventually you just can't take any more.

I rather be on the high road. That's where the hotties are.

Hot I tell you.

It can with all y'all beautiful ladies.

To be honest, I was really disappointed in Lynx & your responses to Wises comments.

I see it as a kind of a Catch 22.

As singles, we struggle with the desire for sex, but no outlet. However, many of us cling to the hope of a POSSIBLE solution someday, no matter how dim it might seem.

However, even if we get married, we might have an outlet--for a while--but what if that changes and then there is NO outlet anymore, and NO hope, not even the dim possibility, of ever having another one? (Except for the very morbid, who might wish their spouse would pass away so that they can look for another.)

Either way, most of us eventually have to face the unpleasant task of trying to ignore or shelve our desires, whether sooner or later, and whether married or not.

I need to address this separately.

Mel you need to consider context. If somebody who is given to tirades blasts Wisebeardman, that is what that person does. If a new person blasts him, that is probably a good indication of what that newbie is like.

But if two long-time forum members, both usually fairly easy-going, round on Wisebeardman, you gotta think there's probably a good reason for their ire. Does seoulsearch usually blast people like that? Do I? If we don't usually, but we did this time, surely there is a reason for it somewhere.

Also, phrasing it as "I was really disappointed" gives me the impression you are putting yourself in a place of authority over me, to evaluate my character. I find that... disappointing.

I need to address this separately.

Mel you need to consider context. If somebody who is given to tirades blasts Wisebeardman, that is what that person does. If a new person blasts him, that is probably a good indication of what that newbie is like.

But if two long-time forum members, both usually fairly easy-going, round on Wisebeardman, you gotta think there's probably a good reason for their ire. Does seoulsearch usually blast people like that? Do I? If we don't usually, but we did this time, surely there is a reason for it somewhere.

Also, phrasing it as "I was really disappointed" gives me the impression you are putting yourself in a place of authority over me, to evaluate my character. I find that... disappointing.

Now kiss and make up

My whiskers have McDonald's burger grease all over them... But not from eating burgers. You wouldn't believe how much grease gets in the air.

You have officially ruined my take on McDonalds food.

Ruined for the better.

Hey Kim, I do agree with you in terms of being positive etc but I also do believe in giving things or situations like this to God before I take action, which I’m sure most of you already do.

I know it can sometimes feel like a downbuz if someone is speaking in that way, or in that negative tone, but there’s always a deeper underlying reason as to why they speak or feel that way - and for some, it is depression, however, I also believe it’s how we ‘react’ to ones ‘quiet cry for help’ that could make all that difference. And you may have done that in the past, with no positive results in regards to Wise, which is understandable.

To be honest, I was really disappointed in Lynx & your responses to Wises comments. Sure you both have been here longer and seen this type of repetitive behaviour or attitude from Wise but, who is perfect? And as Christ followers, aren’t we supposed to give the love and compassion unto those who need it most? If Wise is doing this for attention (and I’m not saying he is), then so be it, but we all know that God is the ultimate judge and will judge us accordingly.

I guess I just have a lil soft spot for those who are lost in this world, as once upon a time, I was lost too. But only through the love and grace of God did I find my way back to Him, and that is why I want to give the same Christ love to those who need it most.

Hi Mel,

Thank you for your honesty. I read your reply on a break from work and have been contemplating an answer for a few hours. I'm sorry if this answer gets pretty lengthy.

There is a lot I want to say but I'll try to shorten it. Sometimes when I make a post that might surprise people, I'm acting out of things from the past I have observed or experienced myself but don't disclose what they are. There are things I want to explain about the situation but feel I cannot, due to matters of privacy. The other things I wrote about in my posts were publicly stated, such as a thread.

I certainly understand and accept God's judgment. In fact, I always tell people who feel I've made a wrong move to definitely pray about it and take it to God. If He feels I'm in the wrong, believe me--I won't be able to sleep until I've done something about it.

I understand about having a heart for the lost, because of course, I've been very lost in my life, too. I don't write about this as much as I used to but a long time ago, I used to write to prison inmates who had committed such crimes as murder, rape, and molesting children, so I do understand about trying to extend compassion to others, no matter how extreme their situations or reactions. I have a very soft spot in my heart for people who have been through extreme situations in their lives, and always wonder, when I see people here who have extreme views, what happened in their life that got them to that point.

But my many trials and errors over the years also helped me formulate a general plan of action. I tend to try to just actively listen to what a person says for at least the first year or two, sometimes longer. If that happens to be on CC, I'll often just read the person's posts for months or years, and then maybe try to reach out the the person in a PM, and then go from there. Sometimes a person will want to talk. Sometimes a person will basically say, "You know what? You can just kiss off and die," and I will accept their answer either way, because I know an answer like that comes from a place of deep hurt. I'm a long-term thinker and, due to my own background, was raised to provide a listening ear, but then, after a considerable amount of time, go from just listening to starting to move towards suggesting several plans of action, which I will then try for another extended period of time.

If this too is rejected, then I will ask God for a release and then change my stance from active listening/gentle suggestions to one of stating what I have observed and concluded about a situation, as well as moving on to actively listening to the next lost soul in line. I know that God never gives up on us but I'm certainly not God, and there comes a point where gentle encouragement simply reinforces a person's current behavior.

However, it is entirely possible that I give up too soon on some people or just cannot reach them, because of course, each of us can't reach everyone, and maybe part of the reason why God led you here is because you are the person who will succeed where I fail. I fully believe in trying to help someone, but something I've also learned the hard way is that some people do not want to be helped, and have come to take pleasure in venting their misery on others, and this is something I can't reinforce.

I'm sure this is not the last time something I write will disappoint you, and that's ok. You are as entitled to your perspective as anyone else, and I respect that, but it also won't change my general methodology (hopefully with God's guidance.)

Thanks for explaining, and I totally get what you’re saying. The way I read y’all posts seemed disheartening imo, and I guess I expected the opposite reaction, well at least from you lol but I do appreciate your honesty. And I believe fully that you always wear your heart on your sleeve - which is why I always enjoy reading your posts.

I agree, those who don’t want help just makes things harder for themselves but I believe also that it is only through the Holy Spirit can they be convicted of their situation when we intervene (even at a distance) and uplift them in prayers

I apologise if I’ve said anything to upset you, like I did with Lynx 😸

Nothing but love for you sweet sister ❤️

This has devolved into a discussion about McDonald's. There's no milk in that milkshake, so it doesn't matter whether you're getting it free or have to pay for it.