Emotional and verbal abuse

Hello everybody. This is my first time in many years i write in this forum , probably at least 5 years. Excuse my english if i makes some mistakes.
I dont know how to start this and i guess there are many people out there that can relate to my story.
In my childhood i have been extreamly emotionaly and verbaly abused , to the point where i never had 1 hug or even a "i love you" . I am 33 now and bearly can get on with life. Sure i know God loves me. I know that but how do you deal with the mental pain that you have to face almost daily?
Its just like a thing in your brain that keeps throwing up this : the words that where said by your own father who should have loved you.

Words like : i hate you , im not your father (even thou he is) , i never want to see you , you will never be somebody , good for nothing , you are a waste.
Yep , i heard them all , funny thing is they did not mind to be a big problem back then. The problem is now its getting very dificult to get on with life , very hard to get into society and live a normal life like anybody else.
Because of the abuse i have had in my childhood it is very hard for me right now as an adult to relate to others. Very hard to let myself be love by people , let alone to be love by God , who i know he loves me.
Sorry but its all i can say for now. I pray everyday , i go to church , but nothing seams to take the pain away.
Thank you.

Hi md,

I am sorry to hear about what you're going thru. I know people do go thru what you've gone thru, with various reactions and time to recover. Just a few yrs ago, i was living in the past too. but by God's grace, a lot (memories) have somehow faded away and the better memories have replaced the old and ugly. Forgetting the past, i run straight toward the goal, which is life in union with Christ Jesus...

You can too. Keep on praying, meeting and mixing with other believers in fellowship and even here, and hold on to God' word always. Do not let a single day pass without listening to or reading His word and promises, worship music, Christian radio... and share with others even a bit at a time how good and faithful He is. As you see fruit of the Spirit in your life, i sincerely hope the not so good past will get more hazy as the love, color, melody and joy of the Lord take over your life now=).

God bless!

I’m so sorry you had been through struggles in your growing up years, friend. Such painful circumstances can leave long-lasting emotional scars and remain through adulthood. I’m praying that God will surround you with His love, bring in healing and restoration in the days ahead. Also, do you think it might be helpful if you speak to a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Hang in there!