How Do You Handle "This Person is Talking to Me, so We Must be Dating" (but You're Not Actually Dating) Situations?

I'm trying to picture how two go on an internet date.

Do you video Skype while you both go to Applebees in your respective locales, and set the phone up facing yourself, while you eat dinner?

Then there's the second date. I like to do cool stuff on those, like a sight seeing flight, maybe go to the gun club, or a show. How would someone pull that off?

Haha I have no idea. I don't really know what internet dating is.

I thought about video skyping before, but I only do it with my kids. People I talk to on the interweb seem to be bashful about talking face to face like that.

I don't even do skype or any other video chat. I did it awhile back with a couple of friends but that was it.

AMEN..i guess online can be used as an "introductory" between 2 people..

I think internet dating can have two very different meanings:

1) using the internet as an avenue to meet and connect with local people that you then very quickly meet up to do things with in real life. This kind of relationship starts online, but quickly moves offline

2) a relationship that starts on the internet and that because of distance, schedules, preference, etc. is sustained by electronic means rather than by real life interaction and activities

I can understand how either can work, but also understand the idea of if you're dating someone with serious intent you should want and need to spend time with them because if it goes anywhere it's real life interaction you're going to be sharing for the rest of your lives.

In dating, there is that time when people “DTR” - define the relationship.

It can happen organically or the two sit down together and have a talk. It depends.


But when it comes to dating it is pretty obvious that there is an attraction from the start.

You are definitely not friendzoned.

Holding hands, kissing, dates (dinner dates, and not just oh let’s hang out for coffee), being available to one another all the time - those are signs you are more than friends and moving to a committed relationship.


PS - Also look for future plans - let’s do this together - learn this, study this, meet here, introduction to close ones - meet my parents, meet my friends etc

well, lets see...

first story: I started chatting with someone online. we hit it off pretty good. went from emailing to texting to phone calls. we never said we liked each other, but we talked errday! BUUUUUUT we never had "the talk." we planned to meet eventually, but guess what. communication started dwindling. then the dude disappeared on me. that messed me up bad. I really liked him. I thought he liked me. I was so angry I invested time and emotions on him. homeboy should have just said he didn't wanna keep talking to me. that would have been better than leaving me wondering.

second story: started emailing with a guy. eventually went to texting, and then phone calls. this time, I asked the Lord to help me keep my feet on the ground. I started to like him for sure, but oh goodness! I kept asking the Lord to help me not "go there." I kept telling myself, "he only sees me as a friend" to help me not get too emotionally involved. "what if he meets someone in his own city?" etc etc etc. we met in person, and now we're married lol.

I say, just be honest. and my mama always said to me, "don't assume he likes you. wait until he tells you." I didn't take her advice in that 1st story. lol!

I can't say I've ever been in that boat. The closest I came was meeting my friend on FB then in real life. He knew from day one, I was not interested in dating. However when he was far more attentive to my needs or safety than even my ex was. I asked him if he was hoping for more in a causal manner not to embarrass him. To my relief that was his kind character and he is involved with someone. As a friend, I share my life with my friends and them with me. I do NOT share deep personal issues with male friends. Hoping to avoid such confusion. He was the first male friendship since my divorce. There for, my alert levels were heightened. And in most not all but most cases, if a guy is that attentive he is usually after something.

A drunk I met, moved into the site beside me and tried to become my TN stalker while camping. Going as far as putting his hand on my leg and offering to rub salve on me. 😒 I put him in his place real quick. Teddy (male dog) knew my disgust and made sure the guy knew he knew.

For us women and I reckon guys too. There are obvious predators, then there are the ones we don't know! I married one. There are also good people who are good and want nothing in return, but to be treated right too. I know this is a bit off but kinda ties into writers topic. Most of us have been burned, by former lover, family, friends, co worker ECT... So most of us are picky to a degree of how we choose our friends. If it is with the opposite sex, like another thread talked. I believe there should be boundaries to avoid such confusion and hurt. If I was not open to a relationship I would surely let em know at the beginning. I believe it is better that my future mate and I are friends. I would much rather be friends first. I feel if we are friends and a stronger bond is developing we should both talk about it. If it is one-sided at least we both know. I have no control over another's emotions. Especially if I've been proper, and not implied, teased or in anyway encourage such feelings.

Since I have yet to encounter such a situation, I would hope I would handle it compassionately, without humiliating my friend. If my friend is not strong enough to control or see the error in their thinking and it would cause them further pain, I would suggest a stop in communications. I have no desire to see a friend struggle or suffer. Again I feel boundaries are necessary along with communication.