Has Anyone Ever Been Given a "Personal Prophecy" Predicting a Future Spouse and Family?

Hey Everyone,

One of the things I've been trying to work through in my own spiritual life is the confusion that resulted from listening to the words of well-meaning church members. I spent all of my childhood in a conservative Lutheran church, then the next several years at an Assemblies of God church in which it was common for people to give "a word of knowledge" (presumably from the Holy Spirit) to people as a means of encouragement and guidance for their lives.

While I have no doubt that the people who prayed for me sincerely loved God and meant only the best with all their hearts, many, many years later, I am trying to sort through the aftermath of the emotional turmoil that their "prophecies" have caused in my life.

When I was 25, I went through a very unwanted divorce in which I kept hoping my husband would change his mind, but he never did, and so I relied heavily on my church family to help guide me through.

One woman told me confidently, "I honestly believe the Lord is saying that you are going to be married again in the next 2-3 years."

And so, in came the trickle of "messages", supposedly from the Lord, from people who told me things such as, "He (your future husband) is going to love you so much that it's going to make up for all the rejection you've felt in your life" to a prediction that I would have 4 kids, including a supposed confirmation of what I was to name the oldest.

This is why some people live the way that was described in the thread about putting your life on hold in order to prepare for "the one."

For example, the friend I wrote about in that thread had also been told certain characteristics about her supposed future husband ("He's going to be tall, with dark, straight hair") and so my poor friend even went so far as to reject any guy who asked her out and did not fit that description. Her heart was sincere--she simply did not want to disobey God by choosing someone else--but you can imagine the poor girl's train of thought: "Well, this guy seems really nice, but I have to say no... After all, he has curly hair, and The One God has for me is going to have straight hair..."

This is why some of us have lived in fear of making too many decisions about our lives on our own. Someone in the last thread made an excellent point that living this way is fear, not faith--but it was a total Catch 22 for those of us who believed in the words of some of the elders at our churches. If God had someone on the way for us, a life of carefree choices that didn't consider the other person (even in their absence) would be directly disobedient to what we presumed was God's will for our lives.

The other thing that made me believe (or want to even more strongly) is that the people telling me these things all told me independently of knowing what anyone else said to me and were often pastors, so it convinced me that this surely must be from the Lord! Because wouldn't pastors, of all people, be capable of hearing accurately from God?

Fast forward 20 years later... With no future prospects in site, and being well past the ideal child-bearing age (important footnote: I no longer have the desire to birth children at all), I have to look back and wonder--was the devil working overtime to whisper pretty lies into the ears of people I loved and trusted (including a family member), or were their own hearts just that eager to encourage me that they were able to convince themselves of made-up "prophecies"?

One of the things that was told to me was, "God has someone waiting for you, but not here." And so, when the opportunity came up to move out of the area, I felt the need to say yes, because surely I was on the way to meet The One God had for me!!! And once again, it's been several years... and all I hear now are crickets (literally--there's one somewhere behind my couch right now, happily chirping away.)

Now, I understand that some people will say, "But what about Sarah and Abraham? Nothing is impossible for God!" A couple of key things that I think must be considered about Sarah and Abraham is that: 1. They were extremely wealthy--no worries for them about how they would pay for Issac's daycare or education! 2. People lived a lot longer back then, and I will be 45 of my next birthday (my avatar picture was taken about 6 months ago), which puts me at a stage in life where I do not want to think about beginning to change diapers.

Even if I did meet someone today, I'd assume we'd date for maybe 2 years, get married and then hopefully have a few years to ourselves or with the family he already has, and that would put me at right around 50 years old and having my first baby.

Anyone else interested in starting a family at 50? Let's see a show of hands... Maybe a few... but for me, no thank you--unless God intervenes, I am looking to serve in other ways.

However, that doesn't erase the negative feelings I still have surrounding this whole experience. And I will never again believe any kind of supposed "prophecy" about my future marital status.

How about the rest of you?

Have any of the rest of you experienced this, and how have you coped with it? I would really like to hear your stories, thoughts, and experiences, whether from your own life or observations you've made of those around you.

Not in relation to marriage. Oddly enough many of the popular issues people face being single (in terms of other people butting in) I've never faced. My mom was the only pushy one I've ever dealt with and she died when i was 21.
I did go around the 'prophecy' type churches early on being saved, but refused to go near them after a couple years.
I was once 'prophesied' over being told i would work with my hands, such as a mechanic. It immediately struck me as wrong as it was a subject i had no interest in, nor anything similar. He clearly took in my appearance and made a guess based off of that. Even as a teen it only took me seconds to realize that, and what a fake he was.
I was also often told, as a teen, God would use me for 'great things' one day. Clearly this was only repeated because of my age and my boldness and being active in so many various ways of ministry.
Yet neither came true. Not even close.
I have avoided such people and churches since i was in my early 20s. No more fake prophecies over me since.

You have been told lies by false prophets... Simple as that.. If a message comes from God then you can be absolutely certain it will come to pass.. But in your case these messages did not come to pass therefore the source of these messages was not God... Now they could have been from the ones giving you the messages or they could have been coming from lying spirits that where in communication with those supposed prophets.. Either way the message was not from God..

I do believe in these days people can receive messages from God?? I have received messages from God so i am not about to state that others cannot receive such messages and share them with others.. But again we must consider that there are both false prophets who have deluded themselves into believing that their personal feelings or impressions come from God and they then deliver lies or they are being lead not by the Holy Spirit but evil spirits..

I am 52 years old and there is no way i want to start a family now... I would have to be a 62 year old man with a 10 year old son who wanted me to play ball with him.. If i had a 10 year old son i would want to have that son when i was 22 so i could play ball with him at 32 and we would have a great dad / son times.. I believe it has been a major mistake of modern western society to encourage people to delay starting their families for as long as they can.. More often then not people who delay it to the last minute end up missing out all together..

It happened to me a few times words came from friends telling me my ex is the person meant for me because he kept on coming back to me
😂 he tried again after almost a year of separation, 2 weeks ago, he contacted me again... One of my friends again told me "He is the one for you" and she even told me not to play hard to get anymore uggghhh but I learned so much already from my previous relationship that no prophecy could ever change my decision.. I have had enough. He missed his chance...if my turning him down will make me miss my chance to have a family in the future...I don't care anymore... 😅

I do believe that people do give false prophecies. However, I also think a lot of times we may be somewhere and God may nudge us to do something or introduce ourselves to somebody and yet we ignore it and move on and little do we know, God may have wanted us to meet that "someone" and we ignored him and went on with our selfish desires (pride). I think this happens more times than we care to think about because I have caught myself quite often doing this. My current guy and I used to work together in different departments for a local company and I felt God nudge me to bring over some leftover cupcakes I made for an employee who was leaving and then i met him. A month later i got a different job and we kept in touch, one thing led to another and we ended up dating and have been for a year and a half. We've had our ups and downs, but I know God put us together and a coworker commented to me that we would get married because we are perfect for each other. I told her that if God wants that to happen he will and I have really learned to listen to what God tells me in the last few years because if i didn't i could have missed out on someone amazing.

So, listening to people who have a prophetic word is important and maybe ask for protection from anything that isn't of God, but it's even more important to listen to something that God may be directing you to that you may not be all to comfortable in doing because you never know.

It seems many of us have been damaged by churches. I for one got fed up with religion, and started studying the bible deeply for myself, with lots of prayer.

As for someone prophesying over me. I think folks tried to when I got saved. I wrote it off (logatician). When they all were praying over me, because I wouldn't fall out, and just backed up. I was tripped. I felt the foot. See God don't need all of this. He don't need folks faking.

I have seen a vision, I know it came from the Lord. My eyes were wide open and I seen it clear as day. It scared me that I rebuked it. It was over my eldest son when he was 10. He turned 25 today. What I seen is lining up.

For me, if God wants to tell me something I ask him to tell me were I know its from him. Not second party. I have witnessed to much fake and phony. But I have also witnessed straight from God. (This scientific mind believes deeply in him) I dislike tongues, seen to much jibber jabber. Yet while in deep desperate prayer alone for someone who claimed they wanted to take their life. I prayed two sentences worth, in a language I never heard. Again freaked me out that I shut up. ( new young Christian ) I told the Lord I didn't want anything unless it was from him. I do believe we have more power than we use. We have been sent the holy spirit. I know for me, I have for a long time put God in a tidy little box. The power given us is for his honor and glory. Not our greed. But we live in a broken world surrounded by the lusts and struggles of this world. How do we reprogram our minds? Open them up fully to our Lord and all his power. This is a real struggle for many of us. And for those of us seeking answers, we fall prey to religions, and people who cause more trauma and confusion than peace, and answers. Causing many to walk away from the Lord all together. Well intended or deliberate deceit. It still caused pain.

I am sorry you fell trap to the so called "word" being spoke over you. That you altered your life because of them. Jesus came for the broken and lost. Yet churches today seem to cause more problems. Not the healing and hope one goes looking for. Jesus knew this would happen, he warns us to test the spirit. Sadly many of us have never been taught how to do that. Modern day churches are nothing like they were and should be. It is disheartening and sad 😞

I've never paid any attention to people who make these prophecies. I've always been around Baptist and Methodist, and they don't do that. My former mother in law told me once, she had a prophetic dream that I was a minister, on a stage, speaking to a large crowd. Yeah right hahahaha.

Sometimes God can talk to you in a dream. Sometimes it is just a dream. Sometimes a person can dream something that he wants, and assume it is from God.

Jeremiah 23:25-28
25 I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.
26 How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies? yea, they are prophets of the deceit of their own heart;
27 Which think to cause my people to forget my name by their dreams which they tell every man to his neighbour, as their fathers have forgotten my name for Baal.
28 The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat? saith the Lord.

There's also a verse about not believing prophets when their prophecies don't come true, but I can't remember where it is...

I was in churches that were similarly styled for a while. And I could concur with the assessment that most of the people in them are sincere and well intended, but setting up a culture where people feel free to tell someone "God told me, to tell you" just has so much potential for risks and harm. One of the biggest risks is that as we've recently mentioned in other threads, people have a difficult time separating their feelings and thoughts from the ones that are from God. And even when guidelines are enacted to try to mitigate the worst abuses ( like no names, mates, dates, or fates or keep your prophecies positive) there's still a lot of potential for harm and getting it wrong.

As an example of how easy it is to misconstrue or get is wrong here's a story from my own life. Back sometime in my late 20's I was hit by an attack of the lonelies and in prayer about whether I would ever meet someone that I might like to date and marry. I was an aspiring missionary at the time and also had my eye on my next missions venture and was thinking about preparing for that too. And I felt pretty strongly that God's answer to my questions about marriage was "we'll discuss it when you're 30" Fast forward to my 30th birthday and I was about a month away from leaving for a 3 year Bible story translation project so I had other things on my mind through most of my 30th year. Then a couple months before my 31st birthday, my parents were telling me about a visit with a missionary couple we've known since I was little and this couple had told my parents that they were really praying for me to find someone so I could fulfill the Biblical command to marry. A few weeks after that, this guy comes walking up to me before church and asks to sit with me and we have a really nice chat and just hit it off. Oh this must be the guy God has in mind and I've found my one would have been an easy conclusion to jump to. But as I got to know the guy, it became very clear that he had major red flags including addictions, potential serious mental health issues, instability, and a religious philosophy that treated God and faith more as a lucky charm and catastrophe insurance than any real interest in being a godly man conformed to the image of Christ. And though at the time knowing him did me good and really helped draw me out of my isolation and into community (and was also one of the factors in me coming to CC and getting you all stuck with me), miscombining the signs to think that this was the guy God had for me or that God wanted me to date would have brought me nothing but stress and grief. It would have been an easy misinterpretation for a lonely isolated girl to make (and one that the sensible side of me fought a valiant and ultimately victorious fight against) but the point of the story is that it would have been a huge mistake and misinterpretation of adding to what God and godly people had said.

Anyway, these days I have kind of a code known only to me and God so that if he wants to give me a direct message from somebody else, he knows how to get my attention. And if I have a feeling or impression that might be God and I feel compelled to communicate (doesn't happen much now that I'm not in churches that encourage and make space for that), I would phrase it as such that it's something in my head, it might be God, but don't go out and drastically alter the course of your life based solely on a feeling I have.

Hey sis, thanks for sharing and I know most of us can relate to this. And I’m sorry that you lived your life based on some fake prophetic word.

I believe, Faith-in-Christ nailed it with the part being said about ‘testing all spirits’, it’s got to be that important if it’s written in His Word right?

1 John 4: 1 English Standard Version (ESV)
Test the Spirits
“4 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

It’s simple as that. Wisdom is needed here especially when people (even Pastors/Ministers etc) pray over us. ‘Word of knowledge’ is either from God directly through the Holy Spirit or another spirit working through that person. I’ve seen so much of this happen for my friends and family and some of them ask me what I think about the prophecy they got given, and I always tell them, well did you ask God about it? Have you prayed and sought God’s wisdom and confirmation? I always encourage them to seek God’s Word because there you will find the answer without any doubt.

I do want to encourage you that, nothing is too great for our God. Now I know you mentioned the whole Sara and Issac story lol but when we think about what this story was really about, it was about our Father showing Sara and Isaac (his children) what He was capable of doing - what Man cannot do or even fathom - The miracle of blessing them with a baby. True, the age and social status or financial situations were different back then, but the promise of God’s Power and Word remains the same as is today.

I want to go back with the story about one of my friends - she and hubby had major problems of trying to conceive a child. They were convinced that they couldn’t have any children. They tried everything they could possibly do but still nothing happened, until they stopped trying and just gave it to God. Not long after, she fell pregnant and had their first son. Few years later they had their surprise daughter. They were in their 40’s.

Even if you think you may have wasted your time hearing and following those (fake) ‘prophecies’, or holding on to them (regarding that future spouse) I tell you now that God is good and only He can complete you if you allow Him to move forward with Him in His Grace and the promises in His Word, through Christ Jesus

I want to tell you all how grateful I am for the heartfelt replies stories and replies. I have to be honest--when I wrote this thread, I thought it was going to just be me and a bunch of crickets (like, literally, since it's that time of year when some stupid cricket always manages to hide under my couch and chirp away.)

At best, I thought that maybe a bunch of people might chime in and be like, "Golly Seoul, you sure were gullible!!!"

A few years ago, I wrote a letter to a couple that had given a particularly biting "word of knowledge." I was very respectful, but I clearly told them that their words had done a lot of damage in my life. They never even bothered to reply.

Ironically, I still occasionally receive their ministry newsletter, and every time I do, I always ask God, "Why are people like this allowed to continue deceiving people under their own deceit? If they are telling lies in Your name, why don't You shut them down?"

I can relate to many of the stories told here, and I'm so sorry for the damage other people have done--in the name of the Lord. This is the part that burns me the most, that these people sincerely believe they are earning rewards in heaven--by hurting other people.

I guess, if nothing else, I hope this thread serves as a cautionary tale for other singles--don't be too eager to mold your life around something someone tells you that is exactly what you want to hear.

Thank you all again for sharing, and I hope that people will continue to write out their stories and comments.

You're escaping the false prophecies but also the true prophecies. Also, there are conditional prophecies that may or may not come to pass depending on one's actions and decisions.

i grew up A/G, so Kim, i knows what you mean about the church culture. i don't know what other people have experienced, but i only know of what i have experienced, whether other people "speaking over me" or me receiving a message from the Lord for myself.

i was always that kid who was called out from the congregation to have prayer over me because God was going to use me in great ways. i would even go to the restroom when ministers started calling people to the front to avoid it. lol. but one time, when i thought the minister had started praying for others, i stepped out of the restroom to go to my seat, but the minister caught me lolol. i went to the front and people prayed for me. after service, the minister was talking to my mom, and the person said, "melita is going to be a teacher." in my head, i said, "haaaaaaaaaaaa! nuh uh! i'm gonna be an accountant."

some years later, as i got closer to the Lord, all of a sudden, i wanted to teach sunday school. i signed up the following year, and i taught for several years to teenagers. i remembered what the minister told me and was like, "well hot dog." lol.

my parents always told me, "just because people say this or that, wait until the Lord tells you Himself."

i guess when i was younger, i was skeptical of people. not saying i'm not today lol. but i heard in a sermon once, "if someone prophecies over you, it should be something God had already been telling you, and that word will be a confirmation of it." *shrugs*

as for me having a word for someone else, i pray and pray and pray to make sure it's from the Lord and not my own emotions. usually, if not always, God provides an opportunity for me to share that word with the individual, and the Holy Spirit lets me know "it's time."

i know my examples are not related to relationships, but... i still wanted to share cuz i can! lolololol

I don't remember who wrote it, but I remember a book titled "Thus saith the Lord... Or was that me?"

As for me, I have two active prophecies in my life. One was from a dream and the other was from somebody I didn't know, who didn't know anything about me, but told me something I had been wondering about for a while.

I have adopted mostly a wait-and-see attitude about prophecies. I have no interest in being like Abraham and Sarah , trying to make prophecies happen on my own and royally messing everything up. I have resolved to continue living my life as I would if I did not know about the prophecies, and trust God to bring them to pass. If they were from God they will definitely happen. If they were not, I don't need to waste time chasing them anyway.

Ive had a prophetic word spoken over me..cant remember it now but its hard not to make choices that might "steer" you to seeing that prophecy come true. I think people who love and care for us such as church family are well intentioned but...and they always say "you find someone when youre not looking" and i hate that saying cause SOMEONE has to be looking or youd never FIND right? Lol..

I love the movie UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN..because when she buys the villa..she imagines a wedding and chilren etc there (intending her) but it happens BUT the wedding isnt hers..its a worker she befriended amd the baby born there isnt hers..its her best friends..finally..her realtor and friend..said.."dont you realize..you got everything you wished for..wedding..children" etc she just didnt see it because it came in different "forms"..We are like that with God sometimes..plan out our hopes and dreams but dont realize that God might bring them n different forms. Seoul..you MIGHT have those 4 children..might not be from your womb but maybe youll meet a man with 4 kids etc...always dream and be open to every possibility God might have in store

"Hot dog"..lol thats great and yup..WORD OF CONFIRMATION..good one girly!

In reading more of these posts i hear that people tend to put a TIME FRAME on if a prophecy has come to fulfillment in thier lived..i think of Abraham and Sarah..Sarah put her own impatient "deadline" on her prophacy and got Hagaar..look where that got her? Also ive read a lot of churches have let people down but what are churches? 4 walls and made up of very imperfect people like me and you but somehow we EXPECT more perfection from it? I have to remind myself that when i see the church lean toward legalism or political correctness on some views...just some random thoughts..

Not everyone believes in such things. I left charismatic teachings and all the false prophets behind 20 years ago. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

If a prophecy is real..there will be confirmation in other forms...not all prophies spoken over someone are false. People CAN alter the prophecy like Sarah did being prophacied that she would have a baby..she made her own descisions..hurt a lot of people by her lack of faith but since it WAS of God..He still brought things into being and prophacy was fufilled..happened many times in the Bible...God is definately in the "restoration" business!