Sunny Day!
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And now I'm UBER offended because I thought EVERY single one of those quotes from the OP was real, and now I feel like a total loser. 
Thanks for thoroughly insulting my supposed intelligence, Lynx.
This thread is a prime example of why I think many good people stop posting (or at least, I can say that it's a major reason as to why I've stopped posting.) Someone is going to get offended, and anytime you say something here, you have to be quick to put up all your shields because you can guarantee the attacks will come from every side.
I used to enjoy writing threads and would always try to use a personal example to give a clearer illustration of what I was trying to say, but now days, that completely backfires, because too many people will tell you how they think you should have handled the situation even though it happened years ago and completely miss the actual topic of the thread.
As Lynx said, every time you write a thread, you have to count on babysitting it constantly for at least 3-5 days because it's guaranteed that some sort of fight (and usually more than one) is going to break out. And if a person has a job and a life outside of the forums, who really has that kind of time just to sit around and argue with people? But apparently, some people thrive on that, or else have nothing better to do.
And so, the people who live for contention get louder and louder, while the good-hearted people who actually care about helping other people in a Biblical way sit back in silence because they're afraid that even if they try to say anything, they're going to be shot down or criticized back into silence.
I have actually been pondering writing a run of like 20 threads, one after the other (while allowing the requisite 3-5 days minimum of bickering in between each one), with the ulterior motive of then writing a summary thread at the end that tallies up the number of fights, arguments, and criticisms in all of those threads. However, I'm guessing that final thread wouldn't be approved--because it would offend too many people. And besides, who really has that kind of time to waste?
I joined this forum in 2009, and while I'll always be grateful to the administration for the awesome friends I've made here, it's been very disheartening to see how much negativity has taken over the forums over the years. Sure, we always had disagreements and fights going on, but back in the day, you could at least joke a little with people in the threads. This is why you'll find me bantering with the same people over and over again. It's not because I'm dating them, it's because if I've found someone I can joke with over and over again, I consider them to be part of my "safe zone" that I know won't go postal if I want to start some trouble!
This is just my own observation, but I think the forums have become a lot like political correctness in America: yes, you want to be careful about what you say, especially because we are Christians and are commanded to build each other up rather than tear each other down.
But it's now gotten to the point where you simply can't say ANYTHING, let alone try to make a few jokes for fun, because it's guaranteed to offend someone and then when a person gets offended here, all bets are off and suddenly, any manner of insulting the other person back is somehow permissible.
As much as I love and appreciate CC, the easiest thing I've found... is just to not say anything anymore at all.
Thanks for thoroughly insulting my supposed intelligence, Lynx. This thread is a prime example of why I think many good people stop posting (or at least, I can say that it's a major reason as to why I've stopped posting.) Someone is going to get offended, and anytime you say something here, you have to be quick to put up all your shields because you can guarantee the attacks will come from every side.
I used to enjoy writing threads and would always try to use a personal example to give a clearer illustration of what I was trying to say, but now days, that completely backfires, because too many people will tell you how they think you should have handled the situation even though it happened years ago and completely miss the actual topic of the thread.
As Lynx said, every time you write a thread, you have to count on babysitting it constantly for at least 3-5 days because it's guaranteed that some sort of fight (and usually more than one) is going to break out. And if a person has a job and a life outside of the forums, who really has that kind of time just to sit around and argue with people? But apparently, some people thrive on that, or else have nothing better to do.
And so, the people who live for contention get louder and louder, while the good-hearted people who actually care about helping other people in a Biblical way sit back in silence because they're afraid that even if they try to say anything, they're going to be shot down or criticized back into silence.
I have actually been pondering writing a run of like 20 threads, one after the other (while allowing the requisite 3-5 days minimum of bickering in between each one), with the ulterior motive of then writing a summary thread at the end that tallies up the number of fights, arguments, and criticisms in all of those threads. However, I'm guessing that final thread wouldn't be approved--because it would offend too many people. And besides, who really has that kind of time to waste?
I joined this forum in 2009, and while I'll always be grateful to the administration for the awesome friends I've made here, it's been very disheartening to see how much negativity has taken over the forums over the years. Sure, we always had disagreements and fights going on, but back in the day, you could at least joke a little with people in the threads. This is why you'll find me bantering with the same people over and over again. It's not because I'm dating them
, it's because if I've found someone I can joke with over and over again, I consider them to be part of my "safe zone" that I know won't go postal if I want to start some trouble! This is just my own observation, but I think the forums have become a lot like political correctness in America: yes, you want to be careful about what you say, especially because we are Christians and are commanded to build each other up rather than tear each other down.
But it's now gotten to the point where you simply can't say ANYTHING, let alone try to make a few jokes for fun, because it's guaranteed to offend someone and then when a person gets offended here, all bets are off and suddenly, any manner of insulting the other person back is somehow permissible.
As much as I love and appreciate CC, the easiest thing I've found... is just to not say anything anymore at all.
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And now I'm UBER offended because I thought EVERY single one of those quotes from the OP was real, and now I feel like a total loser. Thanks for thoroughly insulting my supposed intelligence, Lynx.
This thread is a prime example of why I think many good people stop posting (or at least, I can say that it's a major reason as to why I've stopped posting.) Someone is going to get offended, and anytime you say something here, you have to be quick to put up all your shields because you can guarantee the attacks will come from every side.
I used to enjoy writing threads and would always try to use a personal example to give a clearer illustration of what I was trying to say, but now days, that completely backfires, because too many people will tell you how they think you should have handled the situation even though it happened years ago and completely miss the actual topic of the thread.
As Lynx said, every time you write a thread, you have to count on babysitting it constantly for at least 3-5 days because it's guaranteed that some sort of fight (and usually more than one) is going to break out. And if a person has a job and a life outside of the forums, who really has that kind of time just to sit around and argue with people? But apparently, some people thrive on that, or else have nothing better to do.
And so, the people who live for contention get louder and louder, while the good-hearted people who actually care about helping other people in a Biblical way sit back in silence because they're afraid that even if they try to say anything, they're going to be shot down or criticized back into silence.
I have actually been pondering writing a run of like 20 threads, one after the other (while allowing the requisite 3-5 days minimum of bickering in between each one), with the ulterior motive of then writing a summary thread at the end that tallies up the number of fights, arguments, and criticisms in all of those threads. However, I'm guessing that final thread wouldn't be approved--because it would offend too many people. And besides, who really has that kind of time to waste?
I joined this forum in 2009, and while I'll always be grateful to the administration for the awesome friends I've made here, it's been very disheartening to see how much negativity has taken over the forums over the years. Sure, we always had disagreements and fights going on, but back in the day, you could at least joke a little with people in the threads. This is why you'll find me bantering with the same people over and over again. It's not because I'm dating them, it's because if I've found someone I can joke with over and over again, I consider them to be part of my "safe zone" that I know won't go postal if I want to start some trouble!
This is just my own observation, but I think the forums have become a lot like political correctness in America: yes, you want to be careful about what you say, especially because we are Christians and are commanded to build each other up rather than tear each other down.
But it's now gotten to the point where you simply can't say ANYTHING, let alone try to make a few jokes for fun, because it's guaranteed to offend someone and then when a person gets offended here, all bets are off and suddenly, any manner of insulting the other person back is somehow permissible.
As much as I love and appreciate CC, the easiest thing I've found... is just to not say anything anymore at all.
Thanks for thoroughly insulting my supposed intelligence, Lynx. This thread is a prime example of why I think many good people stop posting (or at least, I can say that it's a major reason as to why I've stopped posting.) Someone is going to get offended, and anytime you say something here, you have to be quick to put up all your shields because you can guarantee the attacks will come from every side.
I used to enjoy writing threads and would always try to use a personal example to give a clearer illustration of what I was trying to say, but now days, that completely backfires, because too many people will tell you how they think you should have handled the situation even though it happened years ago and completely miss the actual topic of the thread.
As Lynx said, every time you write a thread, you have to count on babysitting it constantly for at least 3-5 days because it's guaranteed that some sort of fight (and usually more than one) is going to break out. And if a person has a job and a life outside of the forums, who really has that kind of time just to sit around and argue with people? But apparently, some people thrive on that, or else have nothing better to do.
And so, the people who live for contention get louder and louder, while the good-hearted people who actually care about helping other people in a Biblical way sit back in silence because they're afraid that even if they try to say anything, they're going to be shot down or criticized back into silence.
I have actually been pondering writing a run of like 20 threads, one after the other (while allowing the requisite 3-5 days minimum of bickering in between each one), with the ulterior motive of then writing a summary thread at the end that tallies up the number of fights, arguments, and criticisms in all of those threads. However, I'm guessing that final thread wouldn't be approved--because it would offend too many people. And besides, who really has that kind of time to waste?
I joined this forum in 2009, and while I'll always be grateful to the administration for the awesome friends I've made here, it's been very disheartening to see how much negativity has taken over the forums over the years. Sure, we always had disagreements and fights going on, but back in the day, you could at least joke a little with people in the threads. This is why you'll find me bantering with the same people over and over again. It's not because I'm dating them
, it's because if I've found someone I can joke with over and over again, I consider them to be part of my "safe zone" that I know won't go postal if I want to start some trouble! This is just my own observation, but I think the forums have become a lot like political correctness in America: yes, you want to be careful about what you say, especially because we are Christians and are commanded to build each other up rather than tear each other down.
But it's now gotten to the point where you simply can't say ANYTHING, let alone try to make a few jokes for fun, because it's guaranteed to offend someone and then when a person gets offended here, all bets are off and suddenly, any manner of insulting the other person back is somehow permissible.
As much as I love and appreciate CC, the easiest thing I've found... is just to not say anything anymore at all.
And now I'm offended on behalf of Uber drivers because Kim said she was UBER offended. Girl you don't even KNOW what those poor Uber drivers have to deal with!
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Hey don't get ME started! I used to be a Myft driver. It was like Lyft but instead of driving a customer from point A to point B, we would drive them from point A to point A while they complained a lot about all the stuff they were miffed about. Earplugs were a boon.
(This joke shamelessly lyfted from Dude & Dude comics.)
(This joke shamelessly lyfted from Dude & Dude comics.)
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When push comes to shove, what happens within this forum is a reflection of what is happening within our culture as a whole. The culture of political correctness and offense has permeated our culture through and through.
Think of the classics by Harper Lee and Mark Twain that used to be required reading in either middle or high school, now they are prohibited in many school districts because someone was offended by language that was an accurate reflection of the culture that they were written about. Those persons were offended even though the books themselves were really commentaries against that culture.
Although I am not a fan of a lot of the doctrine sold by John Bevere, I am a fan of one book of his called "The Bait of Satan" His premise is that the culture of offense is very much Satan's bait to divide.
Think of the classics by Harper Lee and Mark Twain that used to be required reading in either middle or high school, now they are prohibited in many school districts because someone was offended by language that was an accurate reflection of the culture that they were written about. Those persons were offended even though the books themselves were really commentaries against that culture.
Although I am not a fan of a lot of the doctrine sold by John Bevere, I am a fan of one book of his called "The Bait of Satan" His premise is that the culture of offense is very much Satan's bait to divide.
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Yeah, I know what we are seeing in the forum is a cross-section of modern culture. I just wish it would not infect the forum. I know it doesn't HAVE to spill over into a christian group just because it is in the world. I have a whole church full of people who don't get offended like this. I was there just this morning and I'm about to leave to go to the same church again in about an hour and a half.
Back when I joined this Christian forum it felt more like hanging out with church people. These days it feels more like hanging out with people who actively examine every word everybody around them says to see if there can be some offense taken. "Wait, go back and read that last post again. I'm sure there's SOMETHING we overlooked that we can be offended about."
Back when I joined this Christian forum it felt more like hanging out with church people. These days it feels more like hanging out with people who actively examine every word everybody around them says to see if there can be some offense taken. "Wait, go back and read that last post again. I'm sure there's SOMETHING we overlooked that we can be offended about."
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I often wonder where our culture is headed in this age of finding offense over ieverything.
I had an ex who had an exceptional knack for acing any job interview he went on--I can't think of a single time anyone turned him down, and in the time I knew him, he applied for a LOT of jobs. Henceforth, this brings me to my next point.
The reason he applied for so many jobs is because he could GET a job just fine--but keeping it was another matter. He could handle flack from customers to an extent, but the minute he encountered any internal opposition or disagreement from within the company or with a co-worker, he would immediately quit. There was no compromise or even trying to see the other person's point of view--either he got to do things his way or he was out of there.
And he was very often in-between jobs.
I have some friends who have worked with homeless populations for 25 years, and they told me something I found very interesting. My friends are some of the sweetest, most compassionate people you would ever meet. Right now they are trying to raise funds to be able to participate in a ministry that serves drug addicts in New York City. But they also told me that a significant number of people they encounter in the homeless shelters aren't there because they aren't able to work--they are there because they are exactly like my ex.
They think they're too overqualified to work for anyone (they should be the one in charge), no one else knows what they're talking about (they could solve every problem if only people would do things their way), no one will pay them what they're worth (how dare anyone offer the a salary below what they think they should have right off the bat), and it's always everyone else's fault because how dare someone disagree with or offend them.
In other words... They've become so offended and resistant to anything other than their own opinion that they have, in fact, made themselves completely unemployable in the process.
Now, I know there are plenty of sincere, earnest people out there looking for a job, and when I see posts about this, I add them to my prayer list because these are not the people I'm talking about here.
However, and I know this will offend some people (imagine that), I find this to be another huge red flag within the dating pool--if a person can't hold a job due to being offended by everything, not only will they most likely be mad at me all the time for supposedly offending them (even when I never meant to), but I will also wind up fully supporting them because they refuse to submit to any kind of employment.
Which, in turn, seems to result in a lot of bored people sitting at home all day, trolling the internet... and finding offense with or a reason to criticize most everything they read.
I had an ex who had an exceptional knack for acing any job interview he went on--I can't think of a single time anyone turned him down, and in the time I knew him, he applied for a LOT of jobs. Henceforth, this brings me to my next point.
The reason he applied for so many jobs is because he could GET a job just fine--but keeping it was another matter. He could handle flack from customers to an extent, but the minute he encountered any internal opposition or disagreement from within the company or with a co-worker, he would immediately quit. There was no compromise or even trying to see the other person's point of view--either he got to do things his way or he was out of there.
And he was very often in-between jobs.
I have some friends who have worked with homeless populations for 25 years, and they told me something I found very interesting. My friends are some of the sweetest, most compassionate people you would ever meet. Right now they are trying to raise funds to be able to participate in a ministry that serves drug addicts in New York City. But they also told me that a significant number of people they encounter in the homeless shelters aren't there because they aren't able to work--they are there because they are exactly like my ex.
They think they're too overqualified to work for anyone (they should be the one in charge), no one else knows what they're talking about (they could solve every problem if only people would do things their way), no one will pay them what they're worth (how dare anyone offer the a salary below what they think they should have right off the bat), and it's always everyone else's fault because how dare someone disagree with or offend them.
In other words... They've become so offended and resistant to anything other than their own opinion that they have, in fact, made themselves completely unemployable in the process.
Now, I know there are plenty of sincere, earnest people out there looking for a job, and when I see posts about this, I add them to my prayer list because these are not the people I'm talking about here.
However, and I know this will offend some people (imagine that), I find this to be another huge red flag within the dating pool--if a person can't hold a job due to being offended by everything, not only will they most likely be mad at me all the time for supposedly offending them (even when I never meant to), but I will also wind up fully supporting them because they refuse to submit to any kind of employment.
Which, in turn, seems to result in a lot of bored people sitting at home all day, trolling the internet... and finding offense with or a reason to criticize most everything they read.
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