How to date introverted Christian men?

Glad that you find my info helpful. I think Sunday service might feel a little too formal in my opinion... If it was me, I'd probably pass on the service and suggest we try some interesting restaurant for lunch instead. Out here they have free concerts in a couple of parks. I think that would be a good event for a casual meetup. Just anything where there's no pressure to look or act your best.

Hi everyone, I'm a 35-year-old Christian single woman. I'm outgoing, warm and love to serve the church community. However, I find myself drawn to introverted men - those who appear cool, passive and rarely express themselves. They seem to be interested in me as well but it's always hard to get conversation going with them. I don't quite understand what they need/want, and find it frustrating having to take the initiatives, which they often fail or slow to respond to. It seems that they are very uncomfortable being in a big crowd or talking about themselves. I feel very stuck and wonder how to get to know, even date introverted Christian men? How to ask them out and get them talk more about themselves? I appreciate any practical advice from you! Thanks and many blessings.

I'm the introvert. He's the extrovert. But, even being an extrovert, he had a lot of trouble asking me on a date. Simple solution. I hung out with him and became his friend for four months until he got the courage to ask me for hot chocolate after home meeting. And three weeks later, after he asked the same thing for the third time, I finally asked him if I could have a Coke. I HATE hot chocolate.

Seven months later, we were married. (Introvert. Not to be confused with shy or without my own opinions and thoughts.) And 38 years later we're still happily married. (And I've never had to drink hot chocolate since.)

Everybody is different. Introverted people share many traits but you are getting into specifics which will vary between people. Any advice we give you from here on might be right but will probably be wrong.

If I were the guy, I could tell you that being direct and blunt, but not loud and in-your-face would probably work best with me. It would also be better to be blunt about it in private, rather than in a group of people. I don't scare away too easy, but I'm not all that good on picking up subtle hints. Might be why I've been single so long.

But that might be the worst thing you could do with this guy. I have no idea and no way of finding out.

Let him come to you. Do no initiate. If he isn't trying to talk to you...it means he's not into you.
https://letmenchaseyou.wordpress.com/2017/01/07/worrying-wondering-and-waiting/

This website has helped me so much. I recommend any woman read it.

I think it's the introverts problem to deal with.

Introverts are actually very cautious about getting to know people, and if the women doesn't seem interested, I would simply move on.

I think there is a difference between showing interest and initiating for time alone with a man (aka a date.) That should be the guy's responsibility.

I have been chatting through texts with the introverted guy back and forth, and I know that he does it with many social friends too. Can you suggest some ways to show my interest CLEARLY so that he is confident enough to initiate dating?

If he was interested in dating, he would ask you out.

That's true. But I also think it's women's part to express our interest CLEARLY, which I didn't know exactly how. So I'd appreciate suggestions here!

I am an introvert but took an active role in pursuing a prospective relationship. It is hard for me to open up verbally unless I feel comfortable with a person.

I met my wife on this site who is also a member. At first it was exchanging personal messages on this site as that is a medium that I am most able at first to communicate. Later it was phone calls and eventually we met in person. My wife is a lot more outgoing than I am and that helps in getting a conversation started.

It never hurts to show an interest in a guy that may catch your eye, but ultimately, he probably should be the pursuer. I just know from my own personal experience that it is easier for me to get started through the written word. The verbal will come later and all of the other things that makes for a meaningful and lasting relationship.

It seems to be true that opposites attract. She is outgoing, I am an introvert. She is a Democrat but I am a Republican. What we do have in common is placing our love of God in the center of our marriage. It works for us.

It can for you as well.

I'm the introvert. He's the extrovert. But, even being an extrovert, he had a lot of trouble asking me on a date. Simple solution. I hung out with him and became his friend for four months until he got the courage to ask me for hot chocolate after home meeting. And three weeks later, after he asked the same thing for the third time, I finally asked him if I could have a Coke. I HATE hot chocolate.

Seven months later, we were married. (Introvert. Not to be confused with shy or without my own opinions and thoughts.) And 38 years later we're still happily married. (And I've never had to drink hot chocolate since.)

First of all let me say THANK YOU one more time to all of you who responded - I thought I had to struggle with relationships on my own and I'm so grateful that my voice is heard by you all!

Here's more background info: yes, the man I'm interested in was raised in a traditional Christian family. He was baptized as a teen and knows church way better than I do (one of the main reasons I like him). I served the same ministry with him for 3 months and know that he is very sensitive, quiet (rarely talks about himself) and need attention and love from others. He is a good listener and has a very tender heart (another reason I like him). Our Pastor told me that he stopped attending Sunday Service since last year as he was hurt by someone while leading a small group, which subsequently disbanded. He seemed to be interested in me but never asked me out (I was much more talkative and social than him while serving together).

Since he is such a passive guy, I just invited him to attend Sunday Service with me - as I want to draw him closer to Lord. But he never texted back. zeroturbulence - he is a computer engineer and loves music. He seems to have difficulty expressing his thoughts by word though. You're right that comfort and a casual atmosphere are EXTREMELY important to him. He also seems to be more relaxed in the evening/at night as we served during evenings. I have no idea what is the exact reason he didn't reply to my invitation. What can I do next? Suggest something different to do? Ask him the reason? Or give up?