Well. He is. Because it seems like I am doomed to not be enough attractive to have one. According to Tommy... he is all about sexual capital. And as I am disabled and not the prettiest I have so little to offer, I would be happy if anyone bothered to glance at me without pity.
Still I dream. Still I hope and pray. For my four big miracles. I have not got a "no" so I still pray. Hopefully the walk in the desert takes less than 40 years. 20 years I lived in fear of domestic violence. Some years have past since then.... so I guess I only have around 15 years of misery left before I get there. If I don't get stuck in the wilderness, that is.