Talk about your marriage.

Nice thread

This summer is our 13th anniversary. Sometimes one of us will look at the other during some mundane thing we're doing and go "Have we really been together this long?"

We're pretty boring as couples go. We both would rather be at home than anywhere else. We have separate hobbies for the most part; he's into ham radio and video games and I go around making everything prettier and rearranging our little world. We both like river rafting, camping, reading. We both like making terrible jokes or puns just to see the other person roll their eyes.

I guess the main things I can think of that make my marriage a happy one would be communication, knowing neither of us are perfect, and being willing to do things together even if one of us isn't really into it.

Since I'm "formerly married", I won't write of my own marriage, but I'll share about my parents' marriage. They recently celebrated 62 years together. Both love the Lord, and though Dad came to know Him later in life, he has grown to be more caring and gracious as Mom's health has seen some significant challenges. She can't see to read, and her hearing is compromised, but she is used to his tone of voice and can hear him adequately. She says that she senses the Lord's presence much more as her world becomes smaller. These days, they don't go to church often, but every day Dad reads to Mom from the Bible... for up to an hour.

Since I'm "formerly married", I won't write of my own marriage, but I'll share about my parents' marriage. They recently celebrated 62 years together. Both love the Lord, and though Dad came to know Him later in life, he has grown to be more caring and gracious as Mom's health has seen some significant challenges. She can't see to read, and her hearing is compromised, but she is used to his tone of voice and can hear him adequately. She says that she senses the Lord's presence much more as her world becomes smaller. These days, they don't go to church often, but every day Dad reads to Mom from the Bible... for up to an hour.

Virtually everyone in my family has been married and divorced.
Seems a family trait.
My mum married 4 times and divorced and 3 live in partners.

I've grown up with seeing marriage and divorce as the norm.

I was engaged as a Christian to another Christian.
Found myself in a place where actually it wasn't what I wanted but was willing to marry her.

Get divorced, have kids and get to see them at weekends.
Sat in church one Sunday thinking those thoughts.
All of a sudden my heart was ripped apart and I broke it off that afternoon.
Since then I have suffered bad anxiety.

BUT BUT


Now I have been married for 24 years to the most amazing woman in the world.
Totally different backgrounds.
She was bought up in a Christian family, I was bought up in a mess.
She was well grounded, me I ate dirt and was covered in it.
In fact when we first started to date her family disapoved.
She led worship in church.
After a couple of months I broke up with her.
Emotionally I could not cope.

God stepped in.
We got back together (God ordained circumstances)
Even then I struggled.
Then God said to one day "She is your wife to be, marry her"
What I did not know is that God said to my wife "Bill is husband to be, trust me and be patient"

She told me that when I asked her to marry me.
When I asked her dad if I could marry her he looked at me and said "This morning I said to Tori, if you are not serous about Bill call it off"

Then he smiled at me and said "I give you my blessing and so does Polly (his wife)

I couldn't wait to get married.

God knew who I needed as a life partner.
Tori says the same.

She says I have taught her so much.
Love, compassion, insight into real life.
I say that her that you have taught me so much.
Stability and love.

In fact on our wedding day my speech was along the lines of.

"I have never known love, life experiences of hate and rejection, I have always sought love and acceptance"

Then I read out 1 Corinthians 13 and said "Today I'm married to that love"

So 24 years later we are still married, will be for as long as I live.

She is my soul mate, without her I'm nothing and with her I'm everything.
I would never leave her, reject her or fosake her.

We complete each other.
At times it's not been easy but what we do know that God has given us each other.

What is very important is that we do not try to change each other, accept each other warts and all. We talk when we want to, if not then we don't.
We know when to talk or ask and when not to.
We forgive quickly and in a sense do not need to ask for it.
We know each others heart, that we seek to love and not be loved.

Our wedding day



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We have found when God has 1st place in each of us then our relationship goes well..... when God has 1 place in our hearts, then also as a couple our walk is fixed on God...when we are in the flesh we tend to be more selfish at times that's no fun.....when we are being lead by Gods Spirit Gods peace and His love flow to us then out to each other.....we will be married 12 years in a few weeks God brought us together in our older years to honor Him, being of like mind and spirit.....its really amazing how close we are, we are almost all the way retied now and home together 99% of the time or out together I guess we enjoy being together that
much...hehe...for and old guy he is a blessing he spoils me and watches over me caring showing tenderness toward this old gal...God hand picked us to be together.....we really believe that.....we are on this life walk together......God is good.....Love in Christ Sherril....

how do you bounce back from an affair? its killing me but itake my vows very seriously and I don't want to leave

how do you bounce back from an affair? its killing me but itake my vows very seriously and I don't want to leave

You don't bounce back from an affair, you leave it behind you and move forward with your life. It's sad that your spouse didn't take the vows seriously. A spiritual marriage is a contract that is sanctioned by God, due to the adultery the contract can become null and void. The only way to have healing in this type of situation is to remove the cancer that will eventually eat you from the inside out. I will say a prayer for God to provide clarity of thought on to how to proceed.

thank you so much I have never hurt like this and I did take my vows very seriously I want to do what is right in Gods eyes not for my husband but for God .

thank you so much I have never hurt like this and I did take my vows very seriously I want to do what is right in Gods eyes not for my husband but for God .

Well I'm not sure to be honest. I imagine time will be the biggest healer in your situation. Both parties will need to have to be open and honest with each other. I know people can heal the marriage though and make it work. You don't want to leave that's a good sign.