My life would be so much easier if ___________ (fill in the blank)

Yes, but did you get fat? Did you get heartburn? Did you get sick off of pizza that sat around all day? There is a reason why the employees didn’t want it. I worked in Pizza Hut for a while in college. For some strange reason, people would call in an order for a pizza, and never pick it up. At the end of the night, there were always pizzas to take home. At first, a new employee thought this was a nice little perk. But after eating a few stale pizzas, the “free pizza” palled- especially if you started gaining weight or got constipated.

Everything has a price- except the love of God. We don’t pay for that, He does.

No I didn't get any of that. Sheesh. Believe it or not people can eat pizza without getting any of those things. I used to work at a pizza place too. We did the same thing with leftover pizzas.

Great zero, just great. Now that you said that, she will be compelled to prove that you got heartburn or constipation or something even though you didn't feel it. She WILL prove she is right, or die trying.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. As an ugly chick, I thank you. I must be deteriorating. The other day, a man said I was “plain”. I really DO need some beauty sleep.

If you read my post correctly, I stated that I am not hot. I attributed not getting tickets to white privilege, which I do believe is absolutely real.

You get some sleep, drive 15 over tomorrow, and let me know if it worked.

My claws have been sheathed the whole time. Tommy's shots were better than anything I could have scratched up. A bit brutal, but his aim was good.

I don’t have to prove I am right, his heart attack will prove it for me. Hardening of the arteries is nothing to flirt with, surely.

Clearly, Lynx isn't the only one with claws.

LaVieEnRose, your avatar pic looks like it's cut from a 15th-16th century painting. One of the Dutch masters perhaps?

I just had a physical and an EKG a few months ago. My heart is healthy as a horse because I workout regularly and have done so for most of my adult life...

I was being sarcastic. I am glad you are in good health.

Seriously, we ended up throwing pizzas away because we got sick of free pizza that had been in the warmer all day.

As fun as this has been, GENTLEMEN, I must bid you all a fond good night. Let us not say adieu, but au revoir until the bickering commences tomorrow (unless I am banned before tomorrow arrives). Good night, good night. Parting is such SWEET sorrow.

I'm going to miss you while you're gone. I'll be dreaming of you.

I have to drive WAAY over 15 to get pulled over where we live, more like 25 or 30. I fear my ugliness is at such a level, one night’s sleep will not help much. Little children point at me in public and ask their mothers “What is that?” My nickname as a child was Quasimodo, if that gives you any idea. A guy I was talking to, once said on a scale of 1-10, my looks rate a -2, and he was being very kind as he was the son of a preacher- and taught to tell these “white lies” in order to spare homely girls’ feelings.

I wish I'd seen this before sending you that PM... Just discard it. Sorry...

If only he could aim that well at the toilet.