Why am I always so nervous to go back to church?

It's such an odd thing...It's like I feel like I'm going to a job interview yet these are people I grew my entire life with

Do you have deep relationships with any of the other members? Is there an encouragement to love one another from the church leadership? Is God working great things in your church? If you answered "No" to all of these, ask God if this is where He wants you. Perhaps He is leading you elsewhere.

A pastor friend once used the illustration that perhaps a church is not so much a destination where you spend the rest of your life, but more like a train that helps you get where you are going and then you move on to the next phase.

OR, you may just be like me. I don't like going to the church service because there are all those people there and I might have to interact with them. This is an area of potential growth for me.

Perhaps, something inside you needs to change. Ask God about it. Just a thought.

Hi Steph I felt like the same a while back, over 2015 we
had one disaster after another at home/ with my aunt.

January she was in hosp for a week and nearly died with high potassium levels.

When she came out she had severe delerium which took months to clear up.
That was extremely difficult to deal with plus the hallucinations.

Spring we had a car crash into the side of the house, just for good measure.

Then she had cataract surgery. I took 3 weeks off work as she needed to
have eye drops 4 times a day.

First day I went back to work I got a call from the police to say she had fallen
at home. Someone had tried to deliver a package she fell getting to the door, so
the delivery man called the police. I arrived home from work to find Police and
ambulance there. The living room window smashed in to get to her. Glass
every where. As a result she fractured her shoulder ended back in hosp for
another 6 weeks. I had to visit plus sort out repairs to the house, oh and the
heating failed and a radiator flooded just for good measure.

She came home worse than when she went in! Over a 6 week period I called
our own Doctor out Several times, then one day she got really unwell again and
ended up back in hosp for 12 weeks INcluding over Xmas, with heart and lung
and kidney failure, potassium levels dangerously high again. Didn’t know if
she would live.


All of this meant lots of unpaid leave I ran out of paid holiday.
Multiple hosp appointments, visits, then finding out she had COPD, learning
how to use her oxygen. Numerous visitors to the house, doctors,
oxygen company, Respiritory nurse, social services, new care company,

I got to the point that I was on high alert all the time thinking “what next”.

I didn’t go to church for over a year, didn’t have the time or the mental
energy to do anything other than what I had to do at home.

When things calmed down and I did go back in Spring 2016. I felt really strange.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to have to put on that
“Cheery hello how are you, fine thanks” kind of voice.

I just wanted to sit and listen to the word and go home again.

I even felt a bit resentful that everyone was happy smiley and I
felt different to everyone else. I wasn’t this happy smiley clappy
person any more.

It took a good while of gritting teeth and just going anyway, before I
was able to shake off that feeling of being different. For some time
I didn’t feel like I fitted it, as my life had taken a different path to
everyone else’s.

I had close friends who knew various bits of what had happened but I felt
they could never understand how big all this was and how much it had
affected me.

The good news is that over time I became a much stronger person, more
capable. Eyes wide open now, more able to empathise with others.

You will too, it will take time. You might feel strange for a while, not knowing
what to say to people or where you fit in. But you will come through this
a lot stronger and far more grown up and knowledgable than your peers.

Praying for you.

I'm like you in that I don't seem to relish interacting with the church peeps extensively as in my mind it's an invasion of my private space.

Due to conflicting work schedule it has been almost 2 years since attending church service with my wife. With the grace of God this must change.

We still do our daily prayer, bible reading and study and devotion together each day. We also tithe but turn it in on a sporadic basis, but always the full amount. I don't believe that I am under no biblical command from God to tithe but this is important to my wife so I am in agreement with her in this even though it sometimes puts us in a bit of a bind.

Regardless whether or not a tithe is required, and I believe that it's not, supporting your church and other areas is important in our humble service to the Lord. After all, It's all God's money anyways, we are just stewards of our time, treasure and talents. The best prayer is answered prayer, and you should really do more to help the least of your brother's and sisters besides just saying a prayer to ease your conscience, especially when you are in a position to offer tangible assistance and support.

Prayer is like talk, unless sincerely acted upon in a disciplined way it becomes cheap and is an exercise in futility.

Well it could be that things of have "changed" in your church,like just the "atmosphere" can be felt,for instance if most of the church members are "tense" that may be what you are sensing or you might be a bit on edge yourself.