I've gotta say, I at least have understood more finally by revisiting this topic again. I have once again come to some conclusions, but they are more informed and more worked out in my mind. Here is what I'm walking away with.
First, I do believe in the manifestation of tongues (and I think MOST Christians DO.) I don't think it has ceased and I think the Spirit may still manifest in this way, and in whatever other way He sees fit, for the building and edifying of the church of saints. He may manifest in whatever way He sees fit. He has my permission.
Second, I don't have a problem with them being called manifestations or gifts or both. If the Spirit manifests in me and I heal someone, it IS a gift. So while I still don't understand the insistence on His manifesting not being also called gifts, it doesn't bother me to call them either or to use them interchangeably. No one has been able to adequately explain to me why the move of the Spirit must never be thought of as a gift, so my thought isn't changed and when the Spirit moves and manifests, I think it's a wonderful gift.
Third, I think true tongues are human languages, even if the one speaking has no idea which language they are speaking and those present have no idea what language they are speaking. They could be speaking a DEAD language for all I know or they know. Therefore, since they are not speaking in their native tongue, they do not understand what they are saying. But if one is present who DOES speak in that tongue, I think it would be an amazing thing for them to see and marvel over, that some guy who clearly is English speaking (or Russian speaking, whatever) is speaking Hindi to them! (And I'm not completely convinced that the person IS actually speaking Hindi or if some are just HEARING Hindi, because Pentecost says they spoke in tongues but it ALSO says that each man heard his own language being spoken.). So the manifestation of tongues could be that one person present hears Hindi because they are Hindi, while a person beside them hears French because that's
their tongue. So I think it COULD be that the gift of tongues is stranger than we really know and still has some mysteries in it.
Fourth, I don't see any reason why the Spirit couldn't or wouldn't allow one to speak in tongues even IF no one was present who absolutely needed it in order to understand (because they spoke a different tongue than those present). And in that case, I can understand why, if no one of that tongue was present to benefit and no one with the gift of interpretation of various tongues was present, that they should NOT get up and start babbling in it, because while it might build them up because they would be communing with the Spirit manifesting in them (though without their understanding), they would be wasting everyone ELSES time.
BUT, if someone DID happen to be present with the gift of interpretation of various tongues, Paul said it shouldn't be prevented, just that it should be orderly, with one speaking at a time, with the interpreter interpreting.
Lastly, I see no reason why someone with the gift of speaking in tongues should not speak in tongues privately at times if it helps them to commune with God in spirit. Since I have never spoken in tongues, I don't understand that fully but Cee helped me to get a glimpse with his explanation, because by that explanation, I appear to have that communion but WITHOUT speaking in tongues, and I would NEVER try to discourage ANYONE from that deep communion I have had at times just because they reach it in a different way. That's between them and God and I refuse to interfere.
And...that's my takeaway from the conversation. Over and out.