I'm tired of hiding,what do you no longer hide?

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J

joefizz

Guest
#1
#1
This thread is first derived from that I am finally coming to grips face to face with my sins that I have spent years "hiding" and due to this site,other Christians chat type sites, and one of the "video based" sites joined with this one I now am not only talking to others through posts but "inviting people" to get to know me but, if I ever hope to have a "family" someday I need to have a life with as "few" secrets as possible and also to serve God/Jesus better.
So this thread is all about "facing a sin" by expounding a sin of some kind that you have been "hiding" and you can't seem to get over or you might be about to get over.
I'll start...
I have been "hiding" from most that I have since I was about ten been watching porn(I can barely stand the word) and "honestly" I have physically and emotionally hurt others whether willfully or unintentionally due to "anger" and I suppose "frustration" particularly.
After coming to accept Jesus I don't "physically" hurt anyone but I can at times still "feel" a sense of "wanting to hurt someone" like a "superiority complex" or a "raging warrior spirit" with no fight to be found.
The porn deal I felt a "revelation" about last night that "locking" my phone and censoring it,"wasn't helping" because I was just "lieing to myself" relying on "technology" to fix my "technology based habit",then it came to me,the best way to stop "thinking" on it would to be "no longer hiding" my sins away but "actually" facing them,because through entering the "public video world online" it got me feeling "self conscious" and thinking the best way for noone to "see" anything I didn't want people to see would be to "not have such things at all".
For instance I don't have anything with nudity hanging around my room like a poster but what if there was something like that in a video of mine hypothetically, I could end up with plenty of people upset with me and perhaps feel scarred by that,so I have decided that I'm no longer going to have anything to do with anything that I wouldn't feel "comfortable" sharing in some public form.
What I mean by this is that sure I might have a fare few games or animes that have innuendo or maybe some brief nudity or violence but nothing that's sickeningly gruesome,openly obscene,or heavily dark influenced.(has brainwashing or strong cult religion)
Well that's all from me on what I have had "hidden" and am "getting over" if anyone has something "weighing on their minds" share it here and also some "encouraging" scriptures or songs would be welcome too.(I realize this post is publicly viewable by search engine and I have no problem with what I have shared and therefore have no reason for it or this thread to be deleted-note for mods)
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#2
#2
joefizz said:
This thread is first derived from that I am finally coming to grips face to face with my sins that I have spent years "hiding" and due to this site,other Christians chat type sites, and one of the "video based" sites joined with this one I now am not only talking to others through posts but "inviting people" to get to know me but, if I ever hope to have a "family" someday I need to have a life with as "few" secrets as possible and also to serve God/Jesus better.
So this thread is all about "facing a sin" by expounding a sin of some kind that you have been "hiding" and you can't seem to get over or you might be about to get over.
I'll start...
I have been "hiding" from most that I have since I was about ten been watching porn(I can barely stand the word) and "honestly" I have physically and emotionally hurt others whether willfully or unintentionally due to "anger" and I suppose "frustration" particularly.
After coming to accept Jesus I don't "physically" hurt anyone but I can at times still "feel" a sense of "wanting to hurt someone" like a "superiority complex" or a "raging warrior spirit" with no fight to be found.
The porn deal I felt a "revelation" about last night that "locking" my phone and censoring it,"wasn't helping" because I was just "lieing to myself" relying on "technology" to fix my "technology based habit",then it came to me,the best way to stop "thinking" on it would to be "no longer hiding" my sins away but "actually" facing them,because through entering the "public video world online" it got me feeling "self conscious" and thinking the best way for noone to "see" anything I didn't want people to see would be to "not have such things at all".
For instance I don't have anything with nudity hanging around my room like a poster but what if there was something like that in a video of mine hypothetically, I could end up with plenty of people upset with me and perhaps feel scarred by that,so I have decided that I'm no longer going to have anything to do with anything that I wouldn't feel "comfortable" sharing in some public form.
What I mean by this is that sure I might have a fare few games or animes that have innuendo or maybe some brief nudity or violence but nothing that's sickeningly gruesome,openly obscene,or heavily dark influenced.(has brainwashing or strong cult religion)
Well that's all from me on what I have had "hidden" and am "getting over" if anyone has something "weighing on their minds" share it here and also some "encouraging" scriptures or songs would be welcome too.(I realize this post is publicly viewable by search engine and I have no problem with what I have shared and therefore have no reason for it or this thread to be deleted-note for mods)
Click to expand...
(only share if you "want to" or perhaps "confide in someone",that's the other purpose for me making this thread)
 
M

mar09

Senior Member
#3
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#3
Hi joefizz,
If unloading this would help you deal with the issue, may God bless your "efforts." You could say i was a shy child and grown up for a long time, but at some point i read that being shy means you are thinking of yourself and not others. I knew this for a long time, but overcoming it is an entirely different thing. I would say what can i do, i am like that... and many other excuses, but essentially it still feels like being selfish when i hesitate to give a helping hand when there is someone obviously needing some help like the elderly in a public place, learning what we can abt some matters when it is not very convenient and comfortable, even singing in front in church when i would rather be sitting somewhere at the back... It just doesnt feel right admitting i was/am shy! but God is good, and as some of the other introverts here have said, He does make a way for us to overcome, by-pass or even shine even when we'd rather be behind the curtains or the props instead of being the actors and singers. I'm saying shyness isnt really sin, but when we put ourselves ahead of others instead of loving our neighbor as ourself, then we may sin. Let's continue to ask God that we be more than conquerors thru Christ!
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#4
#4
A
mar09 said:
Hi joefizz,
If unloading this would help you deal with the issue, may God bless your "efforts." You could say i was a shy child and grown up for a long time, but at some point i read that being shy means you are thinking of yourself and not others. I knew this for a long time, but overcoming it is an entirely different thing. I would say what can i do, i am like that... and many other excuses, but essentially it still feels like being selfish when i hesitate to give a helping hand when there is someone obviously needing some help like the elderly in a public place, learning what we can abt some matters when it is not very convenient and comfortable, even singing in front in church when i would rather be sitting somewhere at the back... It just doesnt feel right admitting i was/am shy! but God is good, and as some of the other introverts here have said, He does make a way for us to overcome, by-pass or even shine even when we'd rather be behind the curtains or the props instead of being the actors and singers. I'm saying shyness isnt really sin, but when we put ourselves ahead of others instead of loving our neighbor as ourself, then we may sin. Let's continue to ask God that we be more than conquerors thru Christ!
Click to expand...
Amen to that my brother in Christ!
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#5
#5
I have very bad wrath. That's an understatement. I also may have a mild drinking problem, if I am not in the process of developing a full-fledged addiction. While I'm currently looking for a healthy alternative, I admit that my wrath becomes a thousand times worse when I'm under-the-influence.
 
WineRose

WineRose

Senior Member
#6
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
#6


I am 16 years old, and learning how to be independent, and I still have this Pikachu as my bedtime buddy.
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#7
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#7
joefizz said:
This thread is first derived from that I am finally coming to grips face to face with my sins that I have spent years "hiding" and due to this site,other Christians chat type sites, and one of the "video based" sites joined with this one I now am not only talking to others through posts but "inviting people" to get to know me but, if I ever hope to have a "family" someday I need to have a life with as "few" secrets as possible and also to serve God/Jesus better.
So this thread is all about "facing a sin" by expounding a sin of some kind that you have been "hiding" and you can't seem to get over or you might be about to get over.
I'll start...
I have been "hiding" from most that I have since I was about ten been watching porn(I can barely stand the word) and "honestly" I have physically and emotionally hurt others whether willfully or unintentionally due to "anger" and I suppose "frustration" particularly.
After coming to accept Jesus I don't "physically" hurt anyone but I can at times still "feel" a sense of "wanting to hurt someone" like a "superiority complex" or a "raging warrior spirit" with no fight to be found.
The porn deal I felt a "revelation" about last night that "locking" my phone and censoring it,"wasn't helping" because I was just "lieing to myself" relying on "technology" to fix my "technology based habit",then it came to me,the best way to stop "thinking" on it would to be "no longer hiding" my sins away but "actually" facing them,because through entering the "public video world online" it got me feeling "self conscious" and thinking the best way for noone to "see" anything I didn't want people to see would be to "not have such things at all".
For instance I don't have anything with nudity hanging around my room like a poster but what if there was something like that in a video of mine hypothetically, I could end up with plenty of people upset with me and perhaps feel scarred by that,so I have decided that I'm no longer going to have anything to do with anything that I wouldn't feel "comfortable" sharing in some public form.
What I mean by this is that sure I might have a fare few games or animes that have innuendo or maybe some brief nudity or violence but nothing that's sickeningly gruesome,openly obscene,or heavily dark influenced.(has brainwashing or strong cult religion)
Well that's all from me on what I have had "hidden" and am "getting over" if anyone has something "weighing on their minds" share it here and also some "encouraging" scriptures or songs would be welcome too.(I realize this post is publicly viewable by search engine and I have no problem with what I have shared and therefore have no reason for it or this thread to be deleted-note for mods)
Click to expand...
James 5:16"Confess your faultsone to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

I prayed for you, brother.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#8
#8
WineRose said:


I am 16 years old, and learning how to be independent, and I still have this Pikachu as my bedtime buddy.
Click to expand...
Cool I now have a pikachu throw blanket and a pokemon book and poster of Alola region.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#9
#9
It doesn't matter how old you are. Stuffed animals are awesome. Me, I'm 27 and I still love stuffed animals. Plan on buying a small collection of them once I have the funds.

I don't want to spam, but I want to post the name of an online store with outstanding stuffed animals. :unsure: PM me if you want the site address? :oops:
 
Corbinscam

Corbinscam

Senior Member
#10
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#10
Joefizz...
To me one of the ways to fix an issue like this is to realize it's up to you. Any addiction...especially a sexual one....is first a matter of personal responsibility and a matter of the heart. I was around 10 when I picked up the same nasty habit and it's still a struggle. I'm pretty sure everyone or nearly everyone struggles with it at some point...kudos to you for being honest with yourself.
I'm sure you've seen it mentioned around but I'll suggest it again just incase. The book "eyes of honor" by Jonathan Welton is a great resource. He really uses the Bible to present a view of personal purity I'd never seen anywhere while giving a twist of who we are and who we're intended to be through Christ and a lot of other info. It's been a bit since I read it but calling it amazing isn't an understatement. Best $10 I ever spent. I'll add a couple of his talks from youtube the second one is long but a great listen and really only scratches the surface of what he covers in the book. I'd be interested in re reading it if anyone wants to do a group read or something. The exercises in it are awesome too. I'm a bit of a fan lol.


 
FENNER2

FENNER2

Junior Member
#11
Apr 21, 2018
49
51
18
#11
I was hiding how depressed I get sometimes. This is nothing new and I take medicine for it and have been to therapy. But I haven't wanted to deal with it in therapy and I didn't want anyone to know how horrible I feel about myself sometimes. My Sister noticed a change in me. I was doing things to escape the pain. Of course that only masks things and makes it worse.

I start therapy again tomorrow and people know what I was doing to escape and I can talk about it openly with them . It feels good to let it out.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#12
Oct 13, 2014
6,891
1,960
113
Germany
#12
Ive been running from some things all my life..and I notice now that (as im an adult and life somehow just started running) that I just started running more and more with arrows of the enemy hitting me all the time. I havent been able to really break the cycle but I am proud of you coming out. God has been helping me through praying Psalm 91

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#13
#13
Corbinscam said:
Joefizz...
To me one of the ways to fix an issue like this is to realize it's up to you. Any addiction...especially a sexual one....is first a matter of personal responsibility and a matter of the heart. I was around 10 when I picked up the same nasty habit and it's still a struggle. I'm pretty sure everyone or nearly everyone struggles with it at some point...kudos to you for being honest with yourself.
I'm sure you've seen it mentioned around but I'll suggest it again just incase. The book "eyes of honor" by Jonathan Welton is a great resource. He really uses the Bible to present a view of personal purity I'd never seen anywhere while giving a twist of who we are and who we're intended to be through Christ and a lot of other info. It's been a bit since I read it but calling it amazing isn't an understatement. Best $10 I ever spent. I'll add a couple of his talks from youtube the second one is long but a great listen and really only scratches the surface of what he covers in the book. I'd be interested in re reading it if anyone wants to do a group read or something. The exercises in it are awesome too. I'm a bit of a fan lol.


Click to expand...
I really don't much trust "tv preachers" I have had to "endure" watching them but I don't buy into them really so thanks but no thanks.
 
L

loverofjesus27

Guest
#14
#14
joefizz said:
I really don't much trust "tv preachers" I have had to "endure" watching them but I don't buy into them really so thanks but no thanks.
Click to expand...

So you don’t have any cheese? :(
 
L

loverofjesus27

Guest
#16
#16
I have burgers and chips and donuts.....
 
Corbinscam

Corbinscam

Senior Member
#18
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#18
joefizz said:
I really don't much trust "tv preachers" I have had to "endure" watching them but I don't buy into them really so thanks but no thanks.
Click to expand...
he's not a tv preacher....he's a man who tried every possible means to end his own addiction and pretty much learned his own way through Christ and now shares that. I can't stand tv preachers....but I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater on every single one of them.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#19
#19
Yeah,but things are getting better through fellowship,making videos publicly(makes me feel like more than God/Jesus is watching me, made one before temptation came calling last night/morning and even making a collage of uplifting/happy songs to lift me up when I feel tempted,and I "know" it's "working" and that "God/Jesus" is watching and intervening because in an attempt to keep from outright porn I went to an explicit picture sales place and just as it booted up bizarrely it "shut down" I even tried multiple times and thought it was "an error" then it occurred to me "did God stop me"?
Then I was still searching for a way to find something(I use ask not google it's an entire search engine filtered for the most part instead of google) and with google tied to my you tube video account I wasn't about to use it and after trying for a while frantically I managed to get to a site very familiar to me but when I looked at the title of the site and thought of this thread how I wanted to be "honest" and stop the "hiding" deal I all of a sudden "had no desire to enter" and exited out deleted all connections to the sites and went to youtube watched an anime episode,logged out first,(doing what I can to keep from my channel being explicit)then after the episode I logged back in,and had some uplifting songs going through my head and my mind clearing,particularly the song "grateful prayer and thankful heart" from Muppet Christmas came to mind.(I don't care what people think I love Christmas songs "all year round")
 
L

Lazarus700

New member
#20
Jun 4, 2018
11
5
3
#20
The word reverence means to:adore, highly respect,to worship. U have to pray more and reverence jesus all day if necessary the devil will flee drinking will stop read pslms 33:8
 
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