First, God understands your anger, disappointment and with respect to what you are god no through. He is there for you!
“43 Now, this is what the Lord says,
the one who created you, O Jacob,
and formed you, O Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, for I will protect you.
I call you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I am with you;
when you pass through the streams, they will not overwhelm you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not harm you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your deliverer.” Isa 43:1-3a
God is shaping your character and changing you. But do not neglect to read your a Bible and pray. God understands, and he will meet you, if you reach out to him.
“Heavenly Father, I come before your throne, and I would ask that you minister to Katy. Comfort and encourage as she continues to get through this dark period in her life. I Jesus name I pray, amen”
Thanks Angela. But I struggle a bit with that scripture. I don't feel I can trust God at all anymore. Where was that protection when I needed it? Instead He lets me walk into a trap that has ruined my life.
It's difficult to accept some things as character shaping, when you don't see how any good can come out of it. These have been my thoughts lately, and sadly my faith has faded to almost non existent now.
Job 3:
After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his
birth. And Job spoke, and said:
“May the day perish on which I was born,
And the night
in which it was said,
‘A male child is conceived.’
May that day be darkness;
May God above not seek it,
Nor the light shine upon it.
May darkness and the shadow of death claim it;
May a cloud settle on it;
May the blackness of the day terrify it.
As for that night, may darkness seize it;
May it not rejoice among the days of the year,
May it not come into the number of the months.
Oh, may that night be barren!
May no joyful shout come into it!
May those curse it who curse the day,
Those who are ready to arouse Leviathan.
May the stars of its morning be dark;
May it look for light, but
have none,
And not see the dawning of the day;
Because it did not shut up the doors of my
mother’s womb,
Nor hide sorrow from my eyes.
“Why did I not die at birth?
Why did I
not perish when I came from the womb?
Why did the knees receive me?
Or why the breasts, that I should nurse?
For now I would have lain still and been quiet,
I would have been asleep;
Then I would have been at rest
With kings and counselors of the earth,
Who built ruins for themselves,
Or with princes who had gold,
Who filled their houses
with silver;
Or
why was I not hidden like a stillborn child,
Like infants who never saw light?
There the wicked cease
from troubling,
And there the weary are at rest.
There the prisoners rest together;
They do not hear the voice of the oppressor.
The small and great are there,
And the servant
is free from his master.
“Why is light given to him who is in misery,
And life to the bitter of soul,
Who long for death, but it does not
come,
And search for it more than hidden treasures;
Who rejoice exceedingly,
And are glad when they can find the grave?
Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden,
And whom God has hedged in?
For my sighing comes before I eat,
And my groanings pour out like water.
For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me,
And what I dreaded has happened to me.
I am not at ease, nor am I quiet;
I have no rest, for trouble comes.”