Hey Everyone,
In a recent thread, a male poster joked that in his quest to find true love, he would make an exception for an older woman--IF she had enough money. This made me think of the hundreds of times I've heard it said in the dating world that "so-and-so (whether man or woman) is only out for money."
I'm pretty sure that all of us, in some way, have be rejected because someone thought we were too poor and/or below someone's (self-perceived) social class.
And so I thought, "If people give you lemons... Make lemonade... Then what would happen if you take that lemonade... and go out and sell the BAZOOKAS out of it???!!!"
This thread is meant to be humorous take on the fact that unfortunately, some people, whether claiming to be Christian or not, will be more concerned about what's in our wallet than in our heart.
If you couldn't tell, everything about this thread is meant to be funny/sarcastic. We all know a "faithful Christian spouse" who married us for our earnings wouldn't actually be faithful to us, but rather, to the greenbacks. So... why not make a few jokes about it along the way?
Therefore, here a few ways in which I am scheming to "Get Rich and Attract That Faithful Christian Spouse I've Been Dreaming Of!"
1. Get a job writing police reports--FOR the police (because I've heard that this is what they dread most about their job.) I'm thinking that as long as they are present--to get the gist of the crime; I can be the one to take on the headache--of putting it all down in rhyme.
2. Start up my own business (after all, people seem to come running when you tell them you own your own business!) In particular, I've been thinking about starting up my own Vegemite Food Truck. Australia has long been tops on my life-long bucket list, so why not get a head start familiarizing myself with Australian culture as soon as possible?
I was also thinking that I could rope Toinena into selling her soon-to-be world-famous knit goods on the side, and voila!!! Who could possibly resist a mobile truck selling not only Vegemite Toast, but handmade socks??? I'm pretty sure we'll be on the Forbes 500 list in no time at all.
3. And finally, if all else fails... It's time for my third, and possibly most foolproof plan: ask to "borrow" my brother's prized comic book collection--and then sell it on ebay when he's not looking. After all, I'm fairly confident that he'll forgive me--eventually--when he realizes that I used the money to marry myself off--and out--of the family.
And there you have it: 3 "How-Could-Anything-Possibly-Go-Wrong" get-rich quick schemes... almost certainly guaranteed to attract a future spouse!
Plus, here's a Bonus Round: right along with money, most people seem to make "exceptions" to their usual standards IF the person is extremely good-looking, so it's a double whammy if I earn enough money to not only be seen as "rich", but also to be able to afford massive plastic surgery along the way!
* How about the rest of you?
* What kinds of get-rich schemes would you come up with in order to attract a spouse?
Disclaimer: I'm hoping that most people will understand this this thread is a joke, and meant to be a backlash against some of the rejection we have all had over material things. We all know that as Christians, our worth is in Christ, not our bank accounts.
Unfortunately, we still have to deal with worldly expectations, even among fellow Christians... So I say, why not have a sense of humor about it along the way?
I'm looking forward to hearing all of your ideas! (It will also be amusing to see how many people answer this thread due to the title alone, and don't even bother reading the original post.)
In a recent thread, a male poster joked that in his quest to find true love, he would make an exception for an older woman--IF she had enough money. This made me think of the hundreds of times I've heard it said in the dating world that "so-and-so (whether man or woman) is only out for money."
I'm pretty sure that all of us, in some way, have be rejected because someone thought we were too poor and/or below someone's (self-perceived) social class.
And so I thought, "If people give you lemons... Make lemonade... Then what would happen if you take that lemonade... and go out and sell the BAZOOKAS out of it???!!!"
This thread is meant to be humorous take on the fact that unfortunately, some people, whether claiming to be Christian or not, will be more concerned about what's in our wallet than in our heart.
If you couldn't tell, everything about this thread is meant to be funny/sarcastic. We all know a "faithful Christian spouse" who married us for our earnings wouldn't actually be faithful to us, but rather, to the greenbacks. So... why not make a few jokes about it along the way?
Therefore, here a few ways in which I am scheming to "Get Rich and Attract That Faithful Christian Spouse I've Been Dreaming Of!"
1. Get a job writing police reports--FOR the police (because I've heard that this is what they dread most about their job.) I'm thinking that as long as they are present--to get the gist of the crime; I can be the one to take on the headache--of putting it all down in rhyme.
2. Start up my own business (after all, people seem to come running when you tell them you own your own business!) In particular, I've been thinking about starting up my own Vegemite Food Truck. Australia has long been tops on my life-long bucket list, so why not get a head start familiarizing myself with Australian culture as soon as possible?
I was also thinking that I could rope Toinena into selling her soon-to-be world-famous knit goods on the side, and voila!!! Who could possibly resist a mobile truck selling not only Vegemite Toast, but handmade socks??? I'm pretty sure we'll be on the Forbes 500 list in no time at all.
3. And finally, if all else fails... It's time for my third, and possibly most foolproof plan: ask to "borrow" my brother's prized comic book collection--and then sell it on ebay when he's not looking. After all, I'm fairly confident that he'll forgive me--eventually--when he realizes that I used the money to marry myself off--and out--of the family.
And there you have it: 3 "How-Could-Anything-Possibly-Go-Wrong" get-rich quick schemes... almost certainly guaranteed to attract a future spouse!
Plus, here's a Bonus Round: right along with money, most people seem to make "exceptions" to their usual standards IF the person is extremely good-looking, so it's a double whammy if I earn enough money to not only be seen as "rich", but also to be able to afford massive plastic surgery along the way!
* How about the rest of you?
* What kinds of get-rich schemes would you come up with in order to attract a spouse?
Disclaimer: I'm hoping that most people will understand this this thread is a joke, and meant to be a backlash against some of the rejection we have all had over material things. We all know that as Christians, our worth is in Christ, not our bank accounts.
Unfortunately, we still have to deal with worldly expectations, even among fellow Christians... So I say, why not have a sense of humor about it along the way?
I'm looking forward to hearing all of your ideas! (It will also be amusing to see how many people answer this thread due to the title alone, and don't even bother reading the original post.
)
