Lust Addiction

I did not want to initially bring this out because I hate sharing some of the more personal things about myself, this being one of them but it is becoming so bad that I truly need help with this. I have been struggling with this for a very long time and for a very long time I have been on the losing side of the battle. There have been times where I would stop, say no, quit and then I would go weeks, days sometimes even months without thinking of it until finally its just too much and I cave and start doing it again... These things involve mainly activities online and after I do it, I feel absolutely horrible.

Another problem now is, I have affection for a christian girl and she does not know about this side of me yet. I do know that she thinks alot of guys only want physical intimacy and then move on... I do not want this from her..I value her heart deeply... but if I can't stop then it will cause serious problems if not completely ruin any chance I have of a relationship with this woman.

Lately, not just because of this issue but also because I have been trying to get closer to god for SEVERAL issues.. I have been abstaining from it. I deleted all of the material I had and ensured I wouldn't beable to restore it and I told myself I would give god 100% no matter what.. It was NOT easy. I was praying every 5 minutes, reading the bible, looking up scriptures and doing everything I could to keep my mind straight on him (and I'm going through alot of stuff right now as well, I lost all my teeth and its going to take $75,000 to replace them, someone at work snitched on me about my second job and my primary job will not allow me to come back as they are currently investigating me and determining if they will keep or fire me, ect) -- tonight... the temptation was extrordinarily strong and I struggled and prayed and asked others to pray for me trying to resist it and I told myself no but.. I caved.. and I did it anyway...and I feel awful for it...

I don't know what else to do.

I would say just dust yourself off and try again, i used to have the same problem. Getting rid of all of the material was one of the first steps in dealing with that habit, and you will more than likely make more mistakes over and over again as i did, but eventually you will have more control over it and be able to leave it alone completely. When you fall just repent and try again, and try not to beat yourself up about making mistakes as you learn. What also worked for me was speaking out Gods will to deliver me from the evil one and agreeing to it/ resting it it...Most battles are won by just going with the word of God and living in what was said, and also being at peace in it..
If you really pray every 5 minutes like that you will more than likely burn yourself out because you are doing too much (on your own) when all you need to do is agree, rest in it peacefully while going along with the word of God and his will as you put trust in Him and not so much in your efforts.... The same rule applies to your job, when you pray, agree to Gods will for you to prosper, because that is also one of His wills, then you just walk with it, Trusting God despite what people say, think or what you see.

Try listening to this. It will help:[video=youtube;HCNBCm0egWo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCNBCm0egWo[/video]

This is a difficult thing to admit. So, I want to encourage you in your bravery. We all deal with some issue that we feel keeps us from the love of God. The truth of the gospel, though, is that nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:38-39) 1 John 4:10 says, "[FONT=&quot]In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son [/FONT]to be the propitiation for our sins." God loves you so much. Now, this isn't a license to continue in your actions, but it does offer freedom. From what you are talking about, it seems that you've tried to correct the lustful behavior because you don't want to live that lifestyle. You're heart is the right place. Give yourself some credit for even wanting to break free. What I hear you saying that you stop doing the behavior for a time, but then go back. Trying to only correct behavior won't work. I know because I dealt with anxiety for years. I tried to quit the behaviors associated with anxiety. I would go for a few days strong and then fail. I'd beat myself up. It wasn't until I realized that I was only putting a bandaid on the issue. When I started asking God to help me understand how much he loved me regardless of my anxiety, the anxiety started going away. I saw myself not as a failure, but as someone God felt worthy enough to save. As you work on that, I would also suggest seeing a Christian counselor. They can help walk you through the process. Keep hope!

check out the website xxxchurch, there are some helpful tips on accountability for this behavior, as well as advice on how to change your online behaviors. find a mature christian friend who you can be open with about this and other issues, an accountability partner can be very useful in talking these issues through with. Also another helpful book and study is valiant man.