Wise advice from older godly women/men?

Hi my name is Melanie, heres whats going on, The bible says to be obedient in all things right? well what if my none christian mother tells me to do ungodly things.. like tells me I can't hangout with a friend simply because he is of a different race.. to me this is not right and not godly at all. Should I still obey her? I mean the bible does say to be obedient in ALL things. if i disobey her than i'm not respecting her authority as my mother and that could lead to more issues, right? By the way please understand that my mother is ill, and not a christian..

I'm also wondering, sometimes my friends ask me to hangout and my mom is fine about it but at the last minute she changes her mind. (this has happened several times) it has really hurt me and hurt my friends who were hopeful to hangout but then I have to tell them no, sorry my mom said no.. maybe this sounds silly to you but its a bummer when you make plans with friends and then have your mom say no at the last minute and have to cancel on your friends.

thanks for any advice you have in dealing with this! I've only been christian for about 4 years, I still have a lot to learn.

God bless you very much brothers and sisters in christ

Honey, you're 21, an adult who can do what you want. There's no such thing as "a different race" of human. Black, white, red, yellow, we are ALL of the human race. It doesn't matter what color your friends are, or if you hang out with them. As long as they aren't a bad influence on you, I don't see what your mom's problem is. Tell her that you love and respect her, but that YOU get to make your own decisions now as to who your friends can be. Ill or not, non-Christian or not, she has no say in who you're friends with..

Are you living at home? While it's true you are an adult, if you are living at home it may make things difficult for you to go against her. You have to decide for yourself if the battle, and potential consequences, is worth it.
If you're living apart from her, then do what you want.

Keep in mind her requests are not causing you to sin. Her sinful attitude is causing her to affect what you do. But if you don't go out with a friend of the "wrong" color, due to her, you are not sinning.
If she were pushing you to sin, then my answer would be different. We are to respect parents and authority, even our own government and leaders and laws, only until they direct us into disobedience against God.

If this behavior in your mom is newer ask yourself why she's changed.

And it doesn't sound silly to want to stick to your plans with your friends. It makes perfect sense. I would feel the way you do if I were in your place.

Pray for your mother. You are correct, having any ill feelings towards another person because of their race is not of God. God said to love everyone that includes every race / nationality of mankind. Hopefully your mother gets right with God concerning that before it's too late. While you are to respect your mother the scriptures says to love God above everyone else. His word surpasses everything earthly parents may say.

Wow thankyou so much

If you are a minor, then you should obey your parents as commanded in Scripture. Even if you are not a minor, you should honor your parents by taking their advice seriously. There was nothing "ungodly" about your mother's advice, and for all you know she may be seeing things in your friends which you have chosen to ignore, and hence discouraging you from "hanging out" with them. Just put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would want to protect your children.

I know I'm not her mom. But she is 21, so unless she wants to be mama's puppet all her life..it's time to cut the apron strings and be an adult who can make her own decisions.. Yes, she should honor her mom, but that doesn't always mean doing what mom wants her to do.. Mom can't make her decisions for her all her life..

Are you from a different culture than this person? Sometimes culture is the biggger issue behind all kinds of prejudice. My grandmother tried to stop my father from marrying my mom, as teenagers, because my mom was from a different part of Europe! Even though she was lily white! My mom's grandfather told his son, my grandfather, he could not marry my grandmother, a French girl he met as a Canadian soldier in WWI! They never spoke again, a very heavy price to pay!

I detest racism, but do look at culture. And, in the end, you need to stand against this kind of prejudice, or it will dominate your entire life. God created one man and one woman, we are all descendants of them. Regardless of which descendants of Noah we are, we have common ancestry. I always wonder how a Christian could think otherwise.

PS My father played pro football, we always had people from different ethnic backgrounds in our home. We raised our children that way! Some of our closest friends are people from other countries and cultures.

***your are already 21 and if you let your mom dictate how you run your life in this significant manner I believe it is wrong***tell your mom you honor her, but this decision should not be decided by her, but based on what you believe and what God believes...

He means obey God in all things. And God tells adults to obey the laws of the land in which they live, and for children to obey their parents in the Lord- IF they don't go against God's laws. When you have to chose, chose to obey God first. For example, the laws of our land may say abortion is ok, but God says do not murder- you obey God first. If your parent tells you to go steal, and God says not to steal- you obey God first.

In the Old Testament things were done physically under Moses instead of spiritually under Christ. Therefore, those physically in the bloodline to Christ were God's people, and they were to shun everyone else. But that has been done away with when Jesus introduced "Whosoever will."

Now anyone can choose to be God's people, and no form of racism is practiced by God's people who are now under Christ instead of Moses. Therefore, racist discrimination is against the teachings of Christ. There would have to be something wrong with the content of their character. It's a balance of being kind to all people, and bad company corrupts good morals.

"Here there are no Jew or Gentile, no slave or freeman, no male or female, no rich or poor, but Christ is in all who are here (here in the church- christians)

Do what you are happy in your heart to do as a Christian. Give your obedience to who you are happy to give your obedience to.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Mom's nearlly all have your best interest at heart..Parents should never say yes ,this is the right one, but they can approve as an overview but all parents are at liberty to disapprove.
Don't take them lightly sinner or not.
SCRIPTURE says plainly you may marry whomsoever you will only in the
Lord,example: only a christian period!
Any countrary counsel IS unscriptual.
Light has no fellowship with darkness
I'm talking about saved walking in light
and unsaved walking in darkness.Choose light please! Under her roof is where God has you then obey Jesus was subject till 30 years old and still at the wedding of cana.
Use this time to grow in knowledge ,virtue,and relationship with your savior and shepherd.Fellowship after church with christians ,help your mom,you have a lot to learn and a lot to loose.Get to know your heavenly husband and watch marriage relationships in church.Above all ask God for wisdom and stay in prayer for other christian brothers and sisters.Shalom (all peace)
In Jesus.Given my best for your best.
Yoseph

Interesting statements. So how would you call the differences? Breeds like in dogs/cats?

According to me, you should move to your own appartment/flat etc and make yourself independent.

While you are dependent on your mother, you should prefer her before your friends, IMHO.