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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
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I know dozens of jokes, but here are a few that I made myself....
Q: When a flower is learning to drive, what is one thing you NEVER say to it?
A: Put the petal to the metal.
Q: What arachnid tends to go on long tirades?
A: A Ta-RANT-ula.
Q: How do you encourage a pixie when it finishes an assignment?
A: "You did a fairy good job".
Q: When a flower is learning to drive, what is one thing you NEVER say to it?
A: Put the petal to the metal.
Q: What arachnid tends to go on long tirades?
A: A Ta-RANT-ula.
Q: How do you encourage a pixie when it finishes an assignment?
A: "You did a fairy good job".
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For more comedic nonsense...
Q: What happened when the nightcrawler tried on a sweater for the first time?
A: He enjoyed being WORM and cozy.
Q: What happens when you cross a bison with a draft horse?
A: You get an animal that shoehorns its way into everything.
Did you hear about the steamroller that paid the flounder a compliment? The fish in question was quite flattered.
Q: What happened when the nightcrawler tried on a sweater for the first time?
A: He enjoyed being WORM and cozy.
Q: What happens when you cross a bison with a draft horse?
A: You get an animal that shoehorns its way into everything.
Did you hear about the steamroller that paid the flounder a compliment? The fish in question was quite flattered.
