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M
I was just out in the yard, moving dirt. My life is so exciting...
Anyway, this dirt is now part of a couple of flower beds that NEVER grow anything except weeds. So I planted some wild flower seeds in them, because I'm optimistic that way.
And I was thinking, gardening is fun. I mean, tedious, hard work, but somehow fulfilling. It's so nice to be able to go outside, soak up the sun (i.e, get totally sun burnt), breathe in the fresh air, work with my hands, get some exercise. I really like it-
SMACK! Ginormous. Bee. Right to the side of my head.
Dropped the shovel, came inside grumbling about the so-called "great" outdoors and horrible bugs. Now reconsidering my choice to plant a truck-load of flowers because HEY DUH, flowers attract bees.
And bees are just flying, buzzy sadists.
Anyway, this dirt is now part of a couple of flower beds that NEVER grow anything except weeds. So I planted some wild flower seeds in them, because I'm optimistic that way.
And I was thinking, gardening is fun. I mean, tedious, hard work, but somehow fulfilling. It's so nice to be able to go outside, soak up the sun (i.e, get totally sun burnt), breathe in the fresh air, work with my hands, get some exercise. I really like it-
SMACK! Ginormous. Bee. Right to the side of my head.
Dropped the shovel, came inside grumbling about the so-called "great" outdoors and horrible bugs. Now reconsidering my choice to plant a truck-load of flowers because HEY DUH, flowers attract bees.
And bees are just flying, buzzy sadists.
A
Funny (not about the bee) thanks for sharing, but that the Perfect Gardner Jesus is the master of the soil of our soul and we sometimes do not know what that is all about unless we try to dig with our own hands, Jesus is perfectly care tending the soil of our hearts when we do not notice or feel it and then when we do we say" what is going on here"? O I AM just removing some rocks and digging deeper for your roots and i removed some tares and weeds because they will shortly choke me out and i can not have that and i will feed you food and water so you can produce some delicious fruit.
GBYIAF
GBYIAF
Sometimes I wonder if I am who I am because that's the personality type God gave me, or do I have the personality type I do because of nurturing. I'm an ambivert, which means I'm equally extroverted as I am introverted. I don't know if that makes me unique, complex, or just weird.
Not to sound all Popeye or anything, but I guess I am who I am.
Not to sound all Popeye or anything, but I guess I am who I am.
P
Father , you've shown me something today in spirit i don't understand , I receive it , I'm open to you. I just don't get it ... ..you've shown me a field ... With the most fertile dirt, so dark it's almost black .. then I smell it? .. I've never smelled dirt ... what is that about? how can that happen sitting in my house? you then show me in a field, where I'm standing on a Hill , my feet are bare ... I am looking at things that make no sense, but I will look at your word and try to fit pieces together that match exactly what you are revealing... I'm to terrified for it not to be exact .. Scared that it's not really you.. But me..
I know this is to draw me closer into your word .. As well as to you .. What am I doing standing in a field ,, bare feet, looking into a sky where I can see the four seasons, where the daytime turns into night , and the sun shining brightly on the moon? you are showing rows and rows of tended soil, there are people in this field that runs beyond what the eye can see... There are plants that are grown, plants just sprouting , plants not up yet... everyone doing a different thing .. Some planting , some watering , some tilling the soil, some breaking the ground ...some say your gifts are gone .. I beg to differ but keep your
peace ... Instead I silently search through your word .. knowing you will bring the answer .. You have done this to many times to deny or come into agreement with those who challenge it.. It's a silent suffering .. one can fathom .. But in it I see you and do not want the cup passed from me .. But let me hold it with integrity on my hands .. I thank you for this gift .. I
thank you for thinking I am anything worthy of seeing anything beyond the comprehensible only own finite mind... But I've given my mind over to you.. For it to become a place for your thoughts , your journals, your ideas, your room.. I always imagined the walls would be black, since space reminds me of that color... but actually they are white.. So white it's hard for me to tell where you Begin and these walls end.. Or is it the reflection of you on them that have transposed their color?
Becoming a never ending place for you to be ? Thank you for
Loving me, thank you or all you are changing in me.... I will keep my heart open to you always ... Just as you have always done for me..
I know this is to draw me closer into your word .. As well as to you .. What am I doing standing in a field ,, bare feet, looking into a sky where I can see the four seasons, where the daytime turns into night , and the sun shining brightly on the moon? you are showing rows and rows of tended soil, there are people in this field that runs beyond what the eye can see... There are plants that are grown, plants just sprouting , plants not up yet... everyone doing a different thing .. Some planting , some watering , some tilling the soil, some breaking the ground ...some say your gifts are gone .. I beg to differ but keep your
peace ... Instead I silently search through your word .. knowing you will bring the answer .. You have done this to many times to deny or come into agreement with those who challenge it.. It's a silent suffering .. one can fathom .. But in it I see you and do not want the cup passed from me .. But let me hold it with integrity on my hands .. I thank you for this gift .. I
thank you for thinking I am anything worthy of seeing anything beyond the comprehensible only own finite mind... But I've given my mind over to you.. For it to become a place for your thoughts , your journals, your ideas, your room.. I always imagined the walls would be black, since space reminds me of that color... but actually they are white.. So white it's hard for me to tell where you Begin and these walls end.. Or is it the reflection of you on them that have transposed their color?
Becoming a never ending place for you to be ? Thank you for
Loving me, thank you or all you are changing in me.... I will keep my heart open to you always ... Just as you have always done for me..
K
I know i am pretty, fun and Godly, yet sometimes i feel so lonely cos am still single. I cant help but wonder if there's something wrong with me especially now that I've clocked 30!<br><br>Help me Lord to always remember that you love me and you have awesome plans for me. Give me the right attitude, while i wait. Amen.
P
I always have questions .. Then more questions..
People have asked menmy whole life .." why are you so quiet?"
Wonder how theyd respond if I really told them..
"I'm thinking about something God showed
Me today". And oh yeah !! By the way !! I smelled some dirt !! do you know anything in the bible about that or fields? , all the while as they are contemplating if I'm
Nuts or not " my heart towards God is desperately looking for answers... I get it now lord! This is your way of keeping my dependence only on you... I'm coming into an understanding of this a little better than I did .. so do I go join a convent ? Because I'm seriously thinking about it .. I have rum into a few who understand .. And my god my god how I thank you for
them .. your timing is as you say " perfect" .. there are so many deep wellsprings of you...
I have tried to be " in common" with the world .. but there is no where in the world I seem to fit.. I don't own a home... I'm in a barn twice a day among mules an animals .. my only joy if it is thinking upon Jesus and imagining Jim being born there.. I cry sometimes as I put my head on the rail .. Looking past the horses to the hay thinking "THIS............. This is where my savior was born into" my eyes well up thinking about it now ..
Okay I think I'm done exposing my thought stream.. It's about to drown me ..better to drown in it .. Then walk into the exposure in the threads outside of it .. makes me think of the armor you have given me to wear .. Helmet, belt, shoes,
sword, and shield... Underneath it all father.. please know ... I don't want to walk back into the world .. I feel the absolute weakest in all of it .. but still I go.....
People have asked menmy whole life .." why are you so quiet?"
Wonder how theyd respond if I really told them..
"I'm thinking about something God showed
Me today". And oh yeah !! By the way !! I smelled some dirt !! do you know anything in the bible about that or fields? , all the while as they are contemplating if I'm
Nuts or not " my heart towards God is desperately looking for answers... I get it now lord! This is your way of keeping my dependence only on you... I'm coming into an understanding of this a little better than I did .. so do I go join a convent ? Because I'm seriously thinking about it .. I have rum into a few who understand .. And my god my god how I thank you for
them .. your timing is as you say " perfect" .. there are so many deep wellsprings of you...
I have tried to be " in common" with the world .. but there is no where in the world I seem to fit.. I don't own a home... I'm in a barn twice a day among mules an animals .. my only joy if it is thinking upon Jesus and imagining Jim being born there.. I cry sometimes as I put my head on the rail .. Looking past the horses to the hay thinking "THIS............. This is where my savior was born into" my eyes well up thinking about it now ..
Okay I think I'm done exposing my thought stream.. It's about to drown me ..better to drown in it .. Then walk into the exposure in the threads outside of it .. makes me think of the armor you have given me to wear .. Helmet, belt, shoes,
sword, and shield... Underneath it all father.. please know ... I don't want to walk back into the world .. I feel the absolute weakest in all of it .. but still I go.....
I don't know how to be a man when you're constantly treating me like a child. Frankly, I confused. You say I'm made special because God made me this way, but you flip the coin and say I need to change. Change into what? A man of God? Have you read the Bible lately? Those in the Old Testament weren't perfect. And those in the New Testament (excluding Christ) weren't exactly shining examples either.
I was nervous about going out to eat for a birthday celebration with some people from my Bible study group tonight. I was afraid it'd be a huge group and I wouldn't know many people. I clam up in big groups.
But, my anxiety was for naught. It wasn't that big of a group, and after a while it dwindled down to where there were less people and I felt even more comfortable. I had a blast. I'm really starting to make friends here, godly friends, and it's wonderful.
Then on the way home, I contemplated the evening. I was thanking God for the night, for the people He was bringing into my life. But then I thought, shouldn't I thank God anyway? What if the night had gone horribly? Would I then have a "right" to not be thankful? I don't think so.
Not that I have to be thankful when bad things happen. I don't wish them to. But rather to be thankful and praising God that He is who He is, no matter what. Now if only I can remember that when the bad things come.
But, my anxiety was for naught. It wasn't that big of a group, and after a while it dwindled down to where there were less people and I felt even more comfortable. I had a blast. I'm really starting to make friends here, godly friends, and it's wonderful.
Then on the way home, I contemplated the evening. I was thanking God for the night, for the people He was bringing into my life. But then I thought, shouldn't I thank God anyway? What if the night had gone horribly? Would I then have a "right" to not be thankful? I don't think so.
Not that I have to be thankful when bad things happen. I don't wish them to. But rather to be thankful and praising God that He is who He is, no matter what. Now if only I can remember that when the bad things come.
I
Grrrrrrrrr...my mind is one giant buzz of frustration. Why do I ever attempt going to lay down in my own bed?
What is sleep anymore?
Listening to the girl upstairs & her boyfriend having sex makes me never want to have a lustful thought again.
That is how utterly annoying I find her. Thought of maybe praying for her? Nah,suppose I should pray for myself.
3 times a week.
Amateurs!
Now I miss having my own home.
I feel so displaced.
Drama Blob! Do I even really comprehend what that word means?
This "stream" thing...in all honesty,I wonder just a little how much I'm being judged.
I would love to have a peek inside the minds of a few of these CC'ers.
A few I am curious about do not post on this thread.
Much wiser Jedi than I.
I really want my eyes to stop burning. Considering selling my body to science.
Let them poke & prod me. Test my sleep patterns...take my blood,split my atoms. HA!
What is sleep anymore?
Listening to the girl upstairs & her boyfriend having sex makes me never want to have a lustful thought again.
That is how utterly annoying I find her. Thought of maybe praying for her? Nah,suppose I should pray for myself.
3 times a week.
Amateurs!
Now I miss having my own home.
I feel so displaced.
Drama Blob! Do I even really comprehend what that word means?
This "stream" thing...in all honesty,I wonder just a little how much I'm being judged.
I would love to have a peek inside the minds of a few of these CC'ers.
A few I am curious about do not post on this thread.
Much wiser Jedi than I.
I really want my eyes to stop burning. Considering selling my body to science.
Let them poke & prod me. Test my sleep patterns...take my blood,split my atoms. HA!