USA attacks Venezuela, captures President Nicolás Maduro and his wife

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mailmandan said:
BelannF on X: "IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS ANGLE OF THE ICE AGENT BEING ASSAULTED BY A 4K LB SUV - You should. The ICE agent was acting in self defense. https://t.co/Tu492lnhpR" / X https://share.google/rrOBUWumPX3nEzhMk
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I think this is a horrible tragedy that this woman was killed. That said, the lesson I am taking away from this is to not try and drive my car over a cop. If they tell me to stop, then stop.


Chris Rock - How not to get your a** kicked by the police!

(Warning: language)
 
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ZNP said:
What do you mean "you people"?

I did not pick this nutjob and I didn't vote for the people who did.
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Yeah but you got that liberal leaning thing going on along with fantasizing about all those unfounded conspiracy theories along with the rest of the dope smokin hippies funny.gif



ZNP said:
I am taking away from this is to not try and drive my car over a cop. If they tell me to stop, then stop.
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You just now figuring that out?
 
ZNP said:
No, Greenland is not a quaqmire, the ground is frozen, not soft and boggy. Mixing metaphors is a word crime.
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My bad. I forgot that you had never been to Greenland. I’ll get a geologist to contact you shortly.
 
Well before we get too far ahead of ourselves let us take a look back on the capture of Maduro. Let us bask in the afterglow of the revelation of some deeper details in the long game prescient planning and the utterly precise execution. How one of the most evil and also incompetent and corrupt servants of darkness was captured iand bound and delivered to the feet of the saint kings of America. Glory and praise to Jesus.

 
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zeroturbulence said:
I don't know if it's been said (I don't have time to read all the comments), but the US already has a military base in Greenland (Thule Air Base) and it's been there since the 50s. I think any changes to Greenland's government would be done diplomatically.
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Ok I just saw that Trump said we would take Greenland the easy way or the hard way or else it will end up in China or Russia's hands. Oh well so much for diplomacy. I'm out...
iu
 
zeroturbulence said:
Ok I just saw that Trump said we would take Greenland the easy way or the hard way or else it will end up in China or Russia's hands. Oh well so much for diplomacy. I'm out...
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I already told you this.

Phone rings. Bob Newhart picks it up at his desk in the State Department


BOB: Hello, this is Secretary Newhart... Yes, Mr. President... Uh-huh... Yes, I have a few minutes... What's this about?


long pause, Bob's eyes widen slightly


BOB: Greenland. You want to... buy Greenland. Again... No, no, I remember 2019, sir, I just thought we'd... moved past that...


pause


Yes, sir, I'm listening...


longer pause, Bob starts taking notes


BOB: So it's not about the minerals... Not about strategic military position... Not about Arctic shipping routes... It's about...


pause


Canada.


pause, Bob blinks


BOB: The threat from... Canada. Our NATO ally, Canada... Yes, sir, I understand they're to the North...


pause


BOB: Universal healthcare is... psychological warfare. I'm writing this down, sir...


scribbles on notepad


BOB: Uh-huh... They say "sorry" when WE bump into THEM and that's... I see... Undermining American confidence... Right...


pause


BOB: Oil reserves. Okay, now we're getting to... 500 billion barrels if we combine the US, Canada, and Venezuela... That's twice Saudi Arabia... Twenty times China...


adjusts glasses


BOB: Yes, sir, that is a lot of oil... No, I agree, that would be quite an advantage...


pause, Bob's expression becomes more confused


BOB: The hockey thing. You want me to write down... the hockey thing...


pause


BOB: Lake Placid, 1980, Miracle on Ice... Yes, I remember, sir, I watched it... And the Canadians were... seething... Because that should have been them beating the Russians...


pause

BOB: Not just Canada, Russia is also still angry? I'm sorry is it Canada or Russia we are worried about? Both!? OK, if we don't take Greenland Russia will...yes sir, I wrote that down

pause, Bob removes his glasses and rubs his eyes

BOB: Sir, are you saying our foreign policy toward Canada and Russia should factor in... hockey resentment from 1980?


pause


BOB: You are. Okay. I'm just... clarifying...And Don't forget Wayne Gretzky. No, I did not forget him, how is he involved? When he went to LA that was an insult to all hockey purists, whether in Canada or Russia...


pause


BOB: Trudeau. Right. And there are people who say he's... Castro's illegitimate son...


pause


BOB: No, sir, I'm not saying it's true either, I'm just... writing it down because you asked me to...


pause


BOB: And Canada is still part of the British Empire... The Commonwealth, yes... They have the King on their money...


pause


BOB: And nobody can nurse a grudge like the British...


long pause


BOB: So your theory is that Canada - still bitter about hockey, still mad about Gretzky, led by Castro's possible son, backed by the British Empire - is sitting on 170 billion barrels of oil just WAITING for their moment...and if we don't grab Greenland Russia will.


pause


BOB: And Greenland is the buffer zone AND the staging area... Like in the board game Risk... Yes, sir, I've played Risk...


pause


BOB: So we buy Greenland, we have strategic positioning against Canada, and then we...


trails off


BOB: I'm sorry, what was that last part, sir?


pause, Bob's eyes widen


BOB: Maple syrup... You want to classify maple syrup as...


pause


BOB: Domestic terrorism.


long pause


BOB: Because of obesity and heart attacks... Major health issue in the US...


pause


BOB: And if maple syrup coming into the US is classified as domestic terrorism, that could justify the entire operation...


pause, Bob looks at his notepad in disbelief


BOB: The entire... operation to take Canada's oil reserves through Greenland... would be justified by... calling maple syrup... terrorism.


pause


BOB: Uh-huh... Because it's contributing to American deaths... Yes, I understand heart disease is the leading cause of death in America, sir, but...


pause


BOB: No, no, I hear you... Canadians KNOW maple syrup causes health problems... and they keep sending it anyway...


pause


BOB: That could be considered... biological warfare... With pancakes...


Bob sets down his pen


BOB: Mr. President, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to really think about it... Have you discussed this plan with anyone else?


pause


BOB: Just me. Okay. Okay, that's... that's probably good...


pause


BOB: No, sir, I'm not saying it's crazy, I'm just saying that declaring war on Canada over syrup and Wayne Gretzky might be... difficult to sell to Congress...


pause


BOB: The oil reserves, yes, I understand that part makes strategic sense, but the maple syrup terrorism angle might...


pause


BOB: You've already talked to the FDA about reclassifying it... Of course you have...


pause


BOB: And they said what? They'd... consider it?


Bob puts his head in his hand


BOB: No, sir, I'm still here... Just processing...


pause


BOB: So let me make sure I understand the plan: We buy Greenland from Denmark...


pause


BOB: They don't want to sell it, yes, but we make them an offer they can't refuse...


pause


BOB: Not like The Godfather, sir, no, I understand... A legitimate business offer...


pause


BOB: Then from Greenland, we have strategic positioning against Canada... We declare maple syrup a controlled substance due to its contribution to American obesity...


pause


BOB: That gives us justification to... secure Canadian oil reserves for national security purposes... Because if we have their oil, we have 500 billion barrels total, which is twenty times what China has...


pause


BOB: And we solve the Canadian grudge problem dating back to 1980...


pause


BOB: And we eliminate the threat of British-backed, Castro-adjacent, healthcare-having, polite Canadians...


long pause


BOB: Mr. President, I'm going to be honest with you... I've been Secretary of State for...


looks at watch


...three months now... And this is by far the most creative use of Greenland I've ever heard...


pause


BOB: No, sir, creative is not the same as good...


pause


BOB: What do I think you should do?


long pause, Bob considers carefully


BOB: Well, sir... I think maybe we should start smaller... Perhaps we just... buy the maple syrup from Canada? You know, regular trade? They sell it to us, we give them money, nobody has to invade anybody...


pause


BOB: That's not strategic enough... Right...


pause


BOB: Sir, can I ask... does Melania know about this plan?


pause


BOB: She doesn't... And you'd like to keep it that way... Understood...


pause


BOB: No, sir, I will not be mentioning this in my memoirs...


pause


BOB: Yes, I'll prepare a briefing document... With all the points about hockey, Gretzky, Castro, maple syrup terrorism, and the 500 billion barrels...


pause


BOB: For the Joint Chiefs... You want to present this to the Joint Chiefs of Staff...


Bob closes his eyes


BOB: Sir, is there any chance... any chance at all... that we could just focus on something simple this week? Like... I don't know... a trade dispute with Luxembourg? Those are easy...


pause


BOB: Greenland is not Luxembourg... You're right about that, sir...


pause


BOB: Okay... Okay, I'll set up the meeting... Thursday at 2... Situation Room... "Operation Canadian Syrup"...


pause


BOB: You want to call it "Operation Gretzky"... Even better...


pause


BOB: Yes, sir... I'll have everything ready... No, I won't tell anyone...


pause


BOB: Have a good evening, sir...


Bob hangs up, stares at his notepad, picks up phone again


BOB: Hi, honey? Yeah, it's me... Remember when I took this job and you asked if I was sure? ... Yeah... I'm calling to say you were right...
 
Texasgal said:
Yet you display serious flaws about the geological hazards of Greenland? Did you attend an accredited school?
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yes, it was considered one of the ten best universities in the country. You are from Texas, you probably heard of it, Rice University.

Not only was I taught science but I was also taught how to appreciate a joke.
 
zeroturbulence said:
Ok I just saw that Trump said we would take Greenland the easy way or the hard way or else it will end up in China or Russia's hands. Oh well so much for diplomacy. I'm out...
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USA WILL TAKE GREENLAND “LIKE IT OR NOT” | LAND TARGETS COMING | WE JUST SEIZED…
 
ZNP said:
yes, it was considered one of the ten best universities in the country. You are from Texas, you probably heard of it, Rice University.

Not only was I taught science but I was also taught how to appreciate a joke.
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Rice is good at teaching their students how to appreciate jokes.
 
ZNP said:
yes, it was considered one of the ten best universities in the country. You are from Texas, you probably heard of it, Rice University.

Not only was I taught science but I was also taught how to appreciate a joke.
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Lol it was a nice and dry pun, I got it right away and gave the laugh emoji. Then in the melt of the last page it got bogged down. I thought to myself, yes, this fits the pun actually quite well.

Texasgal said:
Rice is good at teaching their students how to appreciate jokes.
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When you are struck with a sudden epiphany as you realize how Galadriel is preening herself about her arctic expertise as a subtle hint to get a second date with Hegseth. How the gears turn and plots within plots form as you realize Greenland is like right there and you have long sought to bring this neglected territory out from the yoke of the molding and incompetent unbelievers of Europe and uplift Greenland into a real partnership in the golden age. The telenovella might be over but perhaps a good old viking saga is about to begin.....

 

Trump moves fast and holds a meeting with top oil executives to begin the less action-packed, but in many ways more potentialfor long term impact via peace and diplomacy to rebuild Venezuela's oil industry and just really utterly broken society that has been destroyed by over two decades of misrule. Take note as the executives note though they are willing to try this out due to Trump's leadership, but these people aren't so misty-eyed or given to idealism. Like in the video they truly note there's a lot of real challenges here because Maduro really was corrupt and incompetent and really did a ton of damage to both his own industry, society, and the environment itself. The effort will require Venezuela to become a responsible government and modern society, but it is possible now at least on the US side of things, love him or hate him Trump has at least got the major oil companies to agree to at least try to help Venezuela if they're also willing to try to turn the page and enter the golden age. Praise Jesus.
 
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SonJudgment said:
Lol it was a nice and dry pun, I got it right away and gave the laugh emoji. Then in the melt of the last page it got bogged down. I thought to myself, yes, this fits the pun actually quite well.



When you are struck with a sudden epiphany as you realize how Galadriel is preening herself about her arctic expertise as a subtle hint to get a second date with Hegseth. How the gears turn and plots within plots form as you realize Greenland is like right there and you have long sought to bring this neglected territory out from the yoke of the molding and incompetent unbelievers of Europe and uplift Greenland into a real partnership in the golden age. The telenovella might be over but perhaps a good old viking saga is about to begin.....

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On most military forums they refer to him as Kegbreath not Hegseth. Gotta learn the lingo man.
 
Squigglylines said:
On most military forums they refer to him as Kegbreath not Hegseth. Gotta learn the lingo man.
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Hegseth is my perfect meathead gigachad steward of war. Consider now he has led now two legendary missions that will be remembered for glory for the rest of American history. The last of the Department of Defense ending it on a high note with the perfect end to Iran's nuclear program. To inaugurate the rebirth of the War Department now he has bound and captured one of Satan's biggest underlings and delivered him before our feet. We should commend our good servant Hegseth, he has a strong will too and has actual love for our people and he is a courageous defender of the rightful sons. Hegseth could potentially lead as a President with much merit and promise indeed, maybe a second chance for Gen X, but I hope he continues with the triumvirate if the conventional thinking of Vance succession takes place and just stay simply as the commander of the War Department. Praise Jesus.
 
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SonJudgment said:
Hegseth is my perfect meathead gigachad steward of war. Consider now he has led now two legendary missions that will be remembered for glory for the rest of American history. The last of the Department of Defense ending it on a high note with the perfect end to Iran's nuclear program. To inaugurate the rebirth of the War Department now he has bound and captured one of Satan's biggest underlings and delivered him before our feet. We should commend our good servant Hegseth, he has a strong will too and has actual love for our people and he is a courageous defender of the rightful sons. Hegseth could potentially lead as a President with much merit and promise indeed, maybe a second chance for Gen X, but I hope he continues with the triumvirate if the conventional thinking of Vance succession takes place and just stay simply as the commander of the War Department. Praise Jesus.
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And follow behind him and make sure he's not leaving Charms dumps you forgot that part.
 
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