First Date As A Christian

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Dolapo

Dolapo

Member
Jun 27, 2024
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A christian lady or guy both mature in age are meeting for the first time.
They've both been in relationships that went wrong.

What should their conversation be about on that first date?
 
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tourist said:
Keep it light and don't discuss past relationships at this the first date.
Click to expand...

Explanation:

My post above wasn't meant to be sarcastic, but I realize it came off that way.
I meant it very literally.

These kinds of issues are not prescribed in scripture.
Why?
Because it isn't necessary.

1.) In Biblical times there wasn't any "dating"... so there certainly wouldn't be directives on it.
2.) The Bible DOES give general principles for general conduct... that's enough to cover all normal interactions.
3.) God doesn't have to teach humans how to be attracted to each other, or how to like people we like... he designed us so those things come naturally.
4.) Finally, consider the purpose:
If we consider the purpose of a date in our culture (at least for a christian) is to have a time to "be yourself" and get to know the other person... then it needn't have any kind of blueprint or affectation at all. It's just a time to talk and get to know each other. So just talk. Whatever the other person talks about, good or bad, that allows you to get to know them. So just talk, and listen. See what you think of the other person. That's all.

.
 
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Dolapo said:
A christian lady or guy both mature in age are meeting for the first time.
They've both been in relationships that went wrong.

What should their conversation be about on that first date?
Click to expand...
Just be yourself and talk about whatever is natural for you. Anything less is you not being honest with the other person, therefore they can't properly learn who you are.
 
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Dolapo said:
A christian lady or guy both mature in age are meeting for the first time.
They've both been in relationships that went wrong.

What should their conversation be about on that first date?
Click to expand...
Just be careful not to put on a facade. Be you, not who you think he wants.

If you put up a false front and y'all start a relationship, you will have to keep up that false front for as long as you stay with him. That gets tiring very quickly.

If you are you and he does not want to start a relationship with you, at least you are not stuck playing a role for the rest of your life.

Aside from that, I would say talk about the things that interest you and listen to him talk about the things that interest him. Even if y'all don't find any common ground in your interests, you will at least learn something about each other.
 
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If one of your interests is cooking, you might bring him a snack you made.

If one of your interests is music, you might bring him a CD. If people actually still listened to CDs...

And etc. Look through your interests and see if there is anything in them that you can bring him. It might make a good impression on the first date.
 
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Lynx said:
Just be careful not to put on a facade. Be you, not who you think he wants.

If you put up a false front and y'all start a relationship, you will have to keep up that false front for as long as you stay with him. That gets tiring very quickly.

If you are you and he does not want to start a relationship with you, at least you are not stuck playing a role for the rest of your life.

Aside from that, I would say talk about the things that interest you and listen to him talk about the things that interest him. Even if y'all don't find any common ground in your interests, you will at least learn something about each other.
Click to expand...


Wow! A whole lot of information for starters. You are very correct... Just be YOU no matter what.🙂
 
Subhumanoidal said:
Just be yourself and talk about whatever is natural for you. Anything less is you not being honest with the other person, therefore they can't properly learn who you are.
Click to expand...


👍Sure, it's good to be open always. Not minding whether a friendship or relationship will end well or not.

In the long run, your honesty and integrity may give the other party a change of mind about connecting with you.🤷

Thanks for your response.🙂
 
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When we first met, I didn't know what to talk ,what to say. I didnt know what to expect but conversations flowed effortlessly and the rest is history...we are now married.

I think the good thing in having a conversation with a man/woman of God the conversations are filled with love,understanding,patience,kindness and encouragement ☺️ and time spent became an opportunity to connect to the person.

The best way to do is to pray that your first meeting will be a blessing to both of you with God guiding and watching over you 🙏 ❤️
 
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Lynx said:
Just be careful not to put on a facade. Be you, not who you think he wants.

If you put up a false front and y'all start a relationship, you will have to keep up that false front for as long as you stay with him. That gets tiring very quickly.

If you are you and he does not want to start a relationship with you, at least you are not stuck playing a role for the rest of your life.

Aside from that, I would say talk about the things that interest you and listen to him talk about the things that interest him. Even if y'all don't find any common ground in your interests, you will at least learn something about each other.
Click to expand...


My BIL insists that everyone puts up a facade when dating and you don't know the real person till you marry. Should have listened to him, would have saved my sister a lot of heartache.
 
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Kireina said:
When we first met, I didn't know what to talk ,what to say. I didnt know what to expect but conversations flowed effortlessly and the rest is history...we are now married.

I think the good thing in having a conversation with a man/woman of God the conversations are filled with love,understanding,patience,kindness and encouragement ☺️ and time spent became an opportunity to connect to the person.

The best way to do is to pray that your first meeting will be a blessing to both of you with God guiding and watching over you 🙏 ❤️
Click to expand...


Exactly, hand it over to the Holy Spirit for leading. 👍
 
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Lynx said:
Ouch...
Click to expand...

Yes, and unfortunately true. I won't go into it because this is talking about the first date. But beyond the first date I would say be prayerful and watching. Red flags are there that you won't see, but friends and family will. Heed them, pray on it, ask God to reveal what you aren't seeing because of rose colored glasses.
 
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When I started talking with my husband, I told myself I wasn’t going to do anything to try to impress me. He gets what he gets! lol. Fortunately he liked me enough to stick around lol.
 
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Pray first, invite Holy Spirit to come and stay while you interact, pray when you part for His guidance in the relationship.
His plan is always the best.
blessings
 
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Maybe start by inviting God into your conversation, share your personal faith journeys, lessons learned from past relationships, and hopes for the future. Keep it light by discussing shared interests, church involvement, and personal goals. Honesty, openness, and prayer can create a solid foundation right from the start..
 
JulieLafleur said:
Maybe start by inviting God into your conversation, share your personal faith journeys, lessons learned from past relationships, and hopes for the future. Keep it light by discussing shared interests, church involvement, and personal goals. Honesty, openness, and prayer can create a solid foundation right from the start..
Click to expand...
Howdy and welcome to the Forum.

Interesting name. Did you or your parents originate in France?
 
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