Why seek a relationship?

[Smox]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

 

[TabinRivCA]

What I think is that God has made some of us to desire celibacy like many in religious sects, that have an innate desire to remain single and devoted totally to the Lord. The rest of us, speaking of Christians, do find satisfaction in having a spouse to share life with and raising a Christian family. By the time you're a young adult you should know which one you are, and I'd advise pursue it. Like I just said in a similar post, I know of two couples who recently met through Christian Mingle and are joyously married. Find a promise to stand on re marriage and keep the faith and thanks going for it🙏✝🔯

 

[Noel25]

I am not one of those that is seeking. If God brings me someone, I'll pray about it. But I'm not going out of my way to find a man because I don't really desire that or feel it necessary.
I think God plants into our hearts what He wants as we grow closer to him. I have found the closer I get to him, the more I am satisfied alone.

 

[Dino246]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

Who says the desire for a partner is "our own ambition over the Lords (sic) will"? Is it not possible, and even likely, that marriage is the Lord's will for most?

Those who are called to celibacy are content in it because it is a specific gift from the Lord. Those not given that gift typically are not content. Let's not be judging with a broad brush.

 

[MsMediator]

You can still get married and do ministry work. Sex should be managed in a marriage too, keeping in mind it should not be uncontrolled or prioritized over our relationship with God.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

I must say if healthy discussion and edification is your goal, you've already started off poorly.
By virtue of what you've written basically what you're coming down to is that marriage, at best, is selfish and reflects of a lack of contentment with God. And at worst it's flat out sin.
That's pretty broad and significant accusation to level against millions of people, past, present and future.
Did God not create marriage? If so why is it selfish or a lack of contentment to partake in what He created?
I'm well aware of Paul's statement on marriage, I have referenced it many times on here myself. But at no time does Paul suggest getting married is caused only by the things you claim.
People can be content with God and married, both. It is not disobedient or selfish to take part in the things God has created and to whom He is part of the covenant taken in a marriage.
God Himself even provides a blueprint on how married couples should behave and treat each other. Why would He do that if it's outside of His will?

 

[Lynx]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

First, howdy and welcome to the Forum.

Second, if everybody believed the way you do there would be nobody to believe anything. We would all be extinct for lack of procreation.

Third, have you met JohnDB? He is a member of this forum and he sounds the same way you do, only on the other side of the matter. He seems to think that single people are selfish and everybody should be married.

I am now eagerly waiting for John to wake up and catch up with the forum, to see what he says about this thread.

 

[zeroturbulence]

"....celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others."

(1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1 Corinthians 7&version=MSG

 

[seoulsearch]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

I have no doubt that every person's highest purpose is servanthood, first to God, and then to others. (And God tells us that our service to others is also doing so unto Him.)

Something I have learned over time is that God might have specific people He wants us to serve and in widely varied roles. Sometimes I think we make our own choices (for the good and for the bad,) but I've come to believe that in some cases, God might call or direct us to certain individuals and roles.

It could be as a spouse. May I suggest that perhaps your insightful post might also consider that marriage is actually lifelong servitude to a spouse and family, so it's just another form of serving? I think this is where a lot of people go wrong with marriage (including myself.) We think it's for ourselves, to meet our own desires, wants, and dreams. But God says, "Marrying means that you are committing to SERVE this other person, ABOVE yourself, no matter what happens, for the REST of his, her, or your life." That's a pretty high level of servitude if you ask me.

Now, whether or not God is calling us singles into that kind of servitude is what many of us here wrestle with -- and after that, the matter of how do we find the right person to serve.

However, service has a multitude of possibilities. Every single person I know now is in service to others -- whether caring for aging relatives, helping others to raise their families, running errands for those who are unable -- the singles I know might not be serving a spouse, but their entire life is wrapped around serving others. For those who are married, their service might be concentrated towards their spouse and children, parents and in-laws.

But it's all service. Our job is to try to follow God's will to the best of our abilities in seeking out whom and how He wants us to serve, whether that means getting married -- or not.

 

[NightTwister]

"Why seek a relationship?"
You know, after my 4th divorce I asked that very same question...

 

[Cameron143]

"Why seek a relationship?"
You know, after my 4th divorce I asked that very same question...

5th time is the charm.

 

[cv5]

I have no doubt that every person's highest purpose is servanthood, first to God, and then to others. (And God tells us that our service to others is also doing so unto Him.)

Something I have learned over time is that God might have specific people He wants us to serve and in widely varied roles. Sometimes I think we make our own choices (for the good and for the bad,) but I've come to believe that in some cases, God might call or direct us to certain individuals and roles.

It could be as a spouse. May I suggest that perhaps your insightful post might also consider that marriage is actually lifelong servitude to a spouse and family, so it's just another form of serving? I think this is where a lot of people go wrong with marriage (including myself.) We think it's for ourselves, to meet our own desires, wants, and dreams. But God says, "Marrying means that you are committing to SERVE this other person, ABOVE yourself, no matter what happens, for the REST of his, her, or your life." That's a pretty high level of servitude if you ask me.

Now, whether or not God is calling us singles into that kind of servitude is what many of us here wrestle with -- and after that, the matter of how do we find the right person to serve.

However, service has a multitude of possibilities. Every single person I know now is in service to others -- whether caring for aging relatives, helping others to raise their families, running errands for those who are unable -- the singles I know might not be serving a spouse, but their entire life is wrapped around serving others. For those who are married, their service might be concentrated towards their spouse and children, parents and in-laws.

But it's all service. Our job is to try to follow God's will to the best of our abilities in seeking out whom and how He wants us to serve, whether that means getting married -- or not.

Very inspiring thank for your thoughts.

 

[EliBeth]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

Hi. Welcome to CC 🙂

I appreciate the question. This subject has been on my mind for awhile now. I must admit, I'm still learning and have not yet fully understood God's perfect will as it pertains to marriage and singleness. I'm still seeking answers and insight.

But here is some of my understanding on it, based on Scripture.
________________________

In Ephesians 5, Paul draws a correlation between Christ and the church, and a husband and wife. The relationship between Christ and His church is an immensely splendid and lovely thing, no doubt. Surely God in His Word would only use this holy picture of Himself and His elect in union to describe something wonderful on earth.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about the benefit of two together. They have a good return for their labor. If one falls, the other can pick them up. If they lie down together, they will keep each other warm. They can defend each other. Notice the last part, "A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." For in a godly marriage, there are three. 🙂 Also, Proverbs 27:17. (Granted, we can be sharpened in relationships other than a marital one.)

I think it also bears mentioning that in Genesis God commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply. And I don't mean by referencing that that I believe He wants every child of His to bear physical children. But Scripture makes it clear that children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). If marriage were less than ideal and seen by Him as a compromising decision, why would He bless those who "compromised" by the fruit of the decision?

Another passage that came to mind when reading your original post is 1 Timothy 4:1-5. These verses say that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits. In talking about false doctrines, it mentions those who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in... Now, I'm not accusing you or saying you're forbidding marriage. 😌 But I think we must be careful in our zealousness for God and pursuit to be as pure and pleasing to Him as we can be that we not go to the polar extreme of calling something not good that God has established as good, or that God has created for our enjoyment. The family unit is an incredible thing that God has formed to bless the world by.

______________________

That being said, Paul does make a pretty strong case in 1 Corinthians 7, from His own perspective especially, to remain single. In singleness one is not distracted by the cares of pleasing a husband or wife. One can be totally devoted to the Lord. But I don't think this means that it is God's perfect will for every devout Christian to be celibate and never marry. God gives some individuals grace for that (wonderful!), and others He equally gives grace to become more Christ-like through the service of a spouse, children, and then the outer world (wonderful too!).

So if one does not desire a marital relationship and family life, and does not sense a calling from God to marry, perhaps there is no reason to consider a relationship. On the other hand, if one desires holy matrimony and to honor and serve God in family life (among other areas of service too) and wonders if/perceives that God may have that in store for them, perhaps they should prayerfully seek God's will concerning finding a godly spouse.

What would have happened if Abraham hadn't married and had children? Or His successors in Christ's lineage? (I'm not saying man could stop God's redemptive plan. God is Sovereign. I'm just trying to illustrate a point.) I believe it is clear that it is indeed God's divine will for some to marry. 🙂 And they are not compromising in doing so.

___________________________

These are just some thoughts 😌 I hope my tone does not at all come off as argumentative, rude, or hurtful, because that is not my intent whatsoever. I am simply offering some understandings I have seemed to glean on the subject from the Word. Please feel free to contradict or explain further from Biblical passages why/if you differ in belief.

God bless you, Smox! And all who read!

✝️

 

[Lynx]

Hi. Welcome to CC 🙂

I appreciate the question. This subject has been on my mind for awhile now. I must admit, I'm still learning and have not yet fully understood God's perfect will as it pertains to marriage and singleness. I'm still seeking answers and insight.

But here is some of my understanding on it, based on Scripture.
________________________

In Ephesians 5, Paul draws a correlation between Christ and the church, and a husband and wife. The relationship between Christ and His church is an immensely splendid and lovely thing, no doubt. Surely God in His Word would only use this holy picture of Himself and His elect in union to describe something wonderful on earth.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about the benefit of two together. They have a good return for their labor. If one falls, the other can pick them up. If they lie down together, they will keep each other warm. They can defend each other. Notice the last part, "A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." For in a godly marriage, there are three. 🙂 Also, Proverbs 27:17. (Granted, we can be sharpened in relationships other than a marital one.)

I think it also bears mentioning that in Genesis God commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply. And I don't mean by referencing that that I believe He wants every child of His to bear physical children. But Scripture makes it clear that children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). If marriage were less than ideal and seen by Him as a compromising decision, why would He bless those who "compromised" by the fruit of the decision?

Another passage that came to mind when reading your original post is 1 Timothy 4:1-5. These verses say that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits. In talking about false doctrines, it mentions those who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in... Now, I'm not accusing you or saying you're forbidding marriage. 😌 But I think we must be careful in our zealousness for God and pursuit to be as pure and pleasing to Him as we can be that we not go to the polar extreme of calling something not good that God has established as good, or that God has created for our enjoyment. The family unit is an incredible thing that God has formed to bless the world by.

______________________

That being said, Paul does make a pretty strong case in 1 Corinthians 7, from His own perspective especially, to remain single. In singleness one is not distracted by the cares of pleasing a husband or wife. One can be totally devoted to the Lord. But I don't think this means that it is God's perfect will for every devout Christian to be celibate and never marry. God gives some individuals grace for that (wonderful!), and others He equally gives grace to become more Christ-like through the service of a spouse, children, and then the outer world (wonderful too!).

So if one does not desire a marital relationship and family life, and does not sense a calling from God to marry, perhaps there is no reason to consider a relationship. On the other hand, if one desires holy matrimony and to honor and serve God in family life (among other areas of service too) and wonders if/perceives that God may have that in store for them, perhaps they should prayerfully seek God's will concerning finding a godly spouse.

What would have happened if Abraham hadn't married and had children? Or His successors in Christ's lineage? (I'm not saying man could stop God's redemptive plan. God is Sovereign. I'm just trying to illustrate a point.) I believe it is clear that it is indeed God's divine will for some to marry. 🙂 And they are not compromising in doing so.

___________________________

These are just some thoughts 😌 I hope my tone does not at all come off as argumentative, rude, or hurtful, because that is not my intent whatsoever. I am simply offering some understandings I have seemed to glean on the subject from the Word. Please feel free to contradict or explain further from Biblical passages why/if you differ in belief.

God bless you, Smox! And all who read!

✝️

There is also the hybrid possibility. Maybe there is marriage in your future, but not right now because it would get in the way of something else.

 

[EliBeth]

There is also the hybrid possibility. Maybe there is marriage in your future, but not right now because it would get in the way of something else.

Yes, that is a very good possibility. I know His plan is best, whatever it is. Thanks for the post, Lynx! 🙂

 

[Adstar]

if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master,

Christians are not Servnts of a Master..

We are adopted Children of a loving Father..

(Romans 8:15-17) "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. {16} The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: {17} And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."

And:

(Galatians 4:1-7) "Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; {2} But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father. {3} Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world: {4} But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, {5} To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. {6} And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. {7} Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ."

 

[JohnDB]

I pose the question in hopes of healthy discussion and ultimately edification. In all seriousness, if we as servants of the Lord, true servants obeying our Master, what scenario would, if any, prompt us to partake in our own ambition over the Lords will? Shouldn't servanthood be enough to give us contentment? There are passions our earthly bodies will demand of us that will overwhelm our minds. If sexual immorality is inevitable more so for some than others, then how would one elect to give up their servanthood. Would it be by virtue of temptation? Surely it cannot be. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

Because man was created to live in symbiotic relationships with God, Earth, and women.
Genesis Studies 101

It's our original programming.

 

[j55]

Gods Elect don't have free will. Romans chapter 8 and Ephesians chapter 1 to document. Jesus would intervene in there lifes, to get them back on track. Acts chapter 9. Paul is one of the election. Jesus gave Paul no choice to but to be chosen vessel of God.

Those who have free will. When seeds are planted for the spiritually dead. Only Jesus can germinate those seeds. Only Jesus can give holy Spirit. Many people have Spirit of slumber. Documentation, Romans chapter 11.

Reprobates are different story.

 

[Redeemed82]

God said man needs a helper

 

[Lynx]

Gods Elect don't have free will. Romans chapter 8 and Ephesians chapter 1 to document. Jesus would intervene in there lifes, to get them back on track. Acts chapter 9. Paul is one of the election. Jesus gave Paul no choice to but to be chosen vessel of God.

Those who have free will. When seeds are planted for the spiritually dead. Only Jesus can germinate those seeds. Only Jesus can give holy Spirit. Many people have Spirit of slumber. Documentation, Romans chapter 11.

Reprobates are different story.

Even Paul said he has to die daily. Everybody has free will, Christian or not. We all choose every day what we will do, whether we will follow Christ or not. If Christians didn't have free will, there would be no battle anymore.