Forgiveness

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Aug 11, 2024
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#1
I find it very hard for myself to totally agree with those words my. Dad was horrible man during my life, but if I'm to become a better person then this is something i have to come to terms with although it's very hard i did. Now over the last 15 years I've watched his ex wife and 5 other children all end up on heroin. This I find almost impossible to forgive, one brother has totally cracked up he will never be released,one is totally dependent on any drugs the other 3 all smoke heroin and one of them has spent 20 years in jail the other brother smokes it with his mum. All there lives destroyed by the same man. Hiw can he be forgiven It leeds me to think if your dad was a really bad person all his sons and daughters pay for his sins for the rest of there lives. No matter what happens all my brothers all took drugs supplied by the dad so haven't hade to deal with a normal thoughts saving them grief but I've tried to be a better person but the mental stress, means I'll pay for life toi can deal with that but will it end with me or will my daughter suffer his sins as well, because I find it hard to forgive him
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,778
113
#2
When a person holds grudges against another, he hurts himself more than anyone else. So for your own sake it is better to simply forgive and forget, and move on. You cannot change others, but you can maintain your own peace and sanity by refusing to be bitter about the past.
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
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51
United Kingdom
#3
Yes I can forgive I dont even think I'm bitter it hard to forget some things in life . It's the destruction he causes everyone else after his death. That makes you think its not right grandd kids his own children some of his brothers kids he stole of them but has had a reflection on us as his kids
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#4
Yes I can forgive I dont even think I'm bitter it hard to forget some things in life . It's the destruction he causes everyone else after his death. That makes you think its not right grandd kids his own children some of his brothers kids he stole of them but has had a reflection on us as his kids
Also if we forgive everyone what's the point I hell
 

ImLova

Active member
Aug 7, 2024
222
176
43
#6
even if I'm not that old I have learn that there is things that I can not forgive. but if I keep on thinking of it and being angry it will only destroy me more. So what I have do is to give it to God. He is the only that can forgive, if the person want forgiveness. If he not want there is still be twine him and God. there is not longer my thing to forgive. I know it is not easy but for me this have been the best way to keep on living
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#7
even if I'm not that old I have learn that there is things that I can not forgive. but if I keep on thinking of it and being angry it will only destroy me more. So what I have do is to give it to God. He is the only that can forgive, if the person want forgiveness. If he not want there is still be twine him and God. there is not longer my thing to forgive. I know it is not easy but for me this have been the best way to keep on living
You may be young that makes no difference to me,good advise in relation to the bible is always welcome and I would imagine your IQ would be greater than mine and I'm 51 you come across as a very educated young lady, and I'm sure going forward you will be a inspiration to many. Tops for that 💯🙏
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#8
You may be young that makes no difference to me,good advise in relation to the bible is always welcome and I would imagine your IQ would be greater than mine and I'm 51 you come across as a very educated young lady, and I'm sure going forward you will be a inspiration to many. Tops for that 💯🙏
I will try to pass my negative thoughts to whoever's listening 💯😇
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,606
4,538
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#9
I find it very hard for myself to totally agree with those words my. Dad was horrible man during my life, but if I'm to become a better person then this is something i have to come to terms with although it's very hard i did. Now over the last 15 years I've watched his ex wife and 5 other children all end up on heroin. This I find almost impossible to forgive, one brother has totally cracked up he will never be released,one is totally dependent on any drugs the other 3 all smoke heroin and one of them has spent 20 years in jail the other brother smokes it with his mum. All there lives destroyed by the same man. Hiw can he be forgiven It leeds me to think if your dad was a really bad person all his sons and daughters pay for his sins for the rest of there lives. No matter what happens all my brothers all took drugs supplied by the dad so haven't hade to deal with a normal thoughts saving them grief but I've tried to be a better person but the mental stress, means I'll pay for life toi can deal with that but will it end with me or will my daughter suffer his sins as well, because I find it hard to forgive him
I can relate.
My Mom's second husband, not my Dad, tried to blow my head off with a shotgun. He beat up my Mom and murdered my little baby brother. There were other traumatic experiences growing up that came to mind often, so I can understand the feelings that go with that. Many times I had to commit those injustices and evils to the Lord. There's no easy fix.

Right now Im trying to deal with another family who was killed, my Mom. There's more grief poured upon grief and it's too much for me. I didn't sleep again last night going on 3-4 days with only a couple hours this morning. However, by the grace of God we both can get through these trials and painful time. God is greater than all the sin in the world. He suffered far greater and died that horrible death for the love of you and me. He arose in victory from the tomb and offers the same life that never ends. When I keep considering that in faith and what all He went through, it helps tremendously: Because I'm having gratitude for Him instead of focusing on the way evil men harmed our families. I don't always do this, but should thank God for His mercy on my life when I'm reminded of the pain.

Here's one of many verses that will help, my friend. Commit it to memory because it'll do you good.

6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4


In case you are wondering about the word careful here. Think of it as full of care/worry.

Peace and blessings

🍵🙂🙏
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#10
I can relate.
My Mom's second husband, not my Dad, tried to blow my head off with a shotgun. He beat up my Mom and murdered my little baby brother. There were other traumatic experiences growing up that came to mind often, so I can understand the feelings that go with that. Many times I had to commit those injustices and evils to the Lord. There's no easy fix.

Right now Im trying to deal with another family who was killed, my Mom. There's more grief poured upon grief and it's too much for me. I didn't sleep again last night going on 3-4 days with only a couple hours this morning. However, by the grace of God we both can get through these trials and painful time. God is greater than all the sin in the world. He suffered far greater and died that horrible death for the love of you and me. He arose in victory from the tomb and offers the same life that never ends. When I keep considering that in faith and what all He went through, it helps tremendously: Because I'm having gratitude for Him instead of focusing on the way evil men harmed our families. I don't always do this, but should thank God for His mercy on my life when I'm reminded of the pain.

Here's one of many verses that will help, my friend. Commit it to memory because it'll do you good.

6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4


In case you are wondering about the word careful here. Think of it as full of care/worry.

Peace and blessings

🍵🙂🙏
Wow your a remarkable person with alot of positive strength. My dad beat my mum.afrer I was born unfortunately I was a difficult birth, so C section was required obviously my Dad beating my mum caused stitches to split my Mum then developed cancer. The reason for my outcome is I do believe he loved her but she was married with him beating her and her passing away . Me moving in with him for the first time I was a constant reminder of what he felt I remember him beating me once and saying I loved your mum and you killed her if you wasn't born she would still be here. He hated me for just being born. He never beat any of his other kids, he used to dress me in girls clothes his main aim was to humiliate me, mentally its caused me a lot of damage. But like yourself I can get some peace of one day ❤💯🙏
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#11
Wow your a remarkable person with alot of positive strength. My dad beat my mum.afrer I was born unfortunately I was a difficult birth, so C section was required obviously my Dad beating my mum caused stitches to split my Mum then developed cancer. The reason for my outcome is I do believe he loved her but she was married with him beating her and her passing away . Me moving in with him for the first time I was a constant reminder of what he felt I remember him beating me once and saying I loved your mum and you killed her if you wasn't born she would still be here. He hated me for just being born. He never beat any of his other kids, he used to dress me in girls clothes his main aim was to humiliate me, mentally its caused me a lot of damage. But like yourself I can get some peace of one day ❤💯🙏
Of mind
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#12
All this stuff is very confusing if theres a battle between good and evil. Take me look at the damage I've made for two familys.with my birth though a C Section. If I wasn't born my mum my have never got divorced that family may have had a better time.i moved to my Dad at 5 and ruined there lives they all take heroin. That same one kid who shouldn't have been has basically destroyed 9 lives. That's were science has gone wrong because if C Section wasnt around I wouldn't be.so who won the battle good or evil🙏🙏
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#13
All this stuff is very confusing if theres a battle between good and evil. Take me look at the damage I've made for two familys.with my birth though a C Section. If I wasn't born my mum my have never got divorced that family may have had a better time.i moved to my Dad at 5 and ruined there lives they all take heroin. That same one kid who shouldn't have been has basically destroyed 9 lives. That's were science has gone wrong because if C Section wasnt around I wouldn't be.so who won the battle good or evil🙏🙏
Gods way would be for his children be born naturally
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,606
4,538
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#14

All this stuff is very confusing if theres a battle between good and evil. Take me look at the damage I've made for two familys.with my birth though a C Section. If I wasn't born my mum my have never got divorced that family may have had a better time.i moved to my Dad at 5 and ruined there lives they all take heroin. That same one kid who shouldn't have been has basically destroyed 9 lives. That's were science has gone wrong because if C Section wasnt around I wouldn't be.so who won the battle good or evil🙏🙏

It's doubtless painful, but of course the things he said aren't true.
What kind of adult can blame a baby being born for his own wickedness?

This comes to mind from Proverbs.

19Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked; 20For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out.

Praise the Lord that you aren't addicted to drugs like your siblings. They may be favored by him, but I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. I would just pray for them and share the gospel when there's opportunity.
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
6,342
2,467
113
#15
I can relate.
My Mom's second husband, not my Dad, tried to blow my head off with a shotgun. He beat up my Mom and murdered my little baby brother. There were other traumatic experiences growing up that came to mind often, so I can understand the feelings that go with that. Many times I had to commit those injustices and evils to the Lord. There's no easy fix.

Right now Im trying to deal with another family who was killed, my Mom. There's more grief poured upon grief and it's too much for me. I didn't sleep again last night going on 3-4 days with only a couple hours this morning. However, by the grace of God we both can get through these trials and painful time. God is greater than all the sin in the world. He suffered far greater and died that horrible death for the love of you and me. He arose in victory from the tomb and offers the same life that never ends. When I keep considering that in faith and what all He went through, it helps tremendously: Because I'm having gratitude for Him instead of focusing on the way evil men harmed our families. I don't always do this, but should thank God for His mercy on my life when I'm reminded of the pain.

Here's one of many verses that will help, my friend. Commit it to memory because it'll do you good.

6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4


In case you are wondering about the word careful here. Think of it as full of care/worry.

Peace and blessings

🍵🙂🙏

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Rev 21:4

And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.
Col 1:20
🙏
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,606
4,538
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#16
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Rev 21:4

And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.
Col 1:20
🙏
🥹 Amen my sister.
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#17
It's doubtless painful, but of course the things he said aren't true.
What kind of adult can blame a baby being born for his own wickedness?

This comes to mind from Proverbs.

19Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked; 20For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out.

Praise the Lord that you aren't addicted to drugs like your siblings. They may be favored by him, but I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. I would just pray for them and share the gospel when there's opportunity.
Fantastic I love that proverb thanks kindly it sunk straight in god bless unfortunately I'm the only person in my whole family who believes we can all be better than the cards we were delt. no one interested in jesus hence why I'm on chat because theres no one who I can talk to my girlfriend for 35 years doesn't believe in god that's why I'm not married my only daughter does that's all I care about each to there own but my daughter is a beautiful young believe 🙏🙏
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,665
17,120
113
69
Tennessee
#18
When a person holds grudges against another, he hurts himself more than anyone else. So for your own sake it is better to simply forgive and forget, and move on. You cannot change others, but you can maintain your own peace and sanity by refusing to be bitter about the past.
Forgiveness is good medicine.
 

DavyP

Active member
Aug 11, 2024
281
95
28
USA
#19
I find it very hard for myself to totally agree with those words my. Dad was horrible man during my life, but if I'm to become a better person then this is something i have to come to terms with although it's very hard i did. Now over the last 15 years I've watched his ex wife and 5 other children all end up on heroin.
....QUOTE]

Is there no way you can get them some professional help, to get them off drugs?

Like Ben Franklin used to say, if a person cannot be counseled, then they cannot be helped. So as long as they are doing drugs they aren't going to be in their right mind.

Nevertheless, Lord Jesus said all manner of sin can be forgiven man, but not the unpardonable sin of blasphemy against The Holy Spirit.
 
Aug 11, 2024
41
20
8
51
United Kingdom
#20
Unfortunately it's a different world even to me I moved away at 16 and tried my best to move on I've got no education but I'm skilled with my hands I'm a qualified plaster with papers, and I managed to have my own business and I pay my own way, have a car and pay my own rent, it's not much but it's worked for me and although I have just a normal life I feel like I got away with it. So I feel proud that can have a chat like this with someonelike yourself.I dont think any of my brothers could .I've had 3 brothers come and stay with me but the pull of drugs if far greater. And they have been together all there lives. I was in children's homes from 12 there mum my step mum is also a addict so it's hard it's like I'm coming between them and I'm my dad son I'm not a good example to them my dad ruined there lives I will stick with it tho.😃😃🙏