I suppose it depends on how the date was set up. If it were a blind date, the couple might not talk beforehand.
The marriage and children questions aren't as touchy as the virginity question. Asking someone if they are a virgin might seem strange or rude, but maybe more uncomfortable for nonvirgin singles than for virgins.
Then there is the issue that to a Christian who says he/she has said he/she has never been married, "Do you have children?" might be considered a rude question, but so many singles have had children these days.
The virginity question also opens a can of worms a lot of people won't want to hear or consider.
What if the person isn't a virgin, but it's due to abuse, crime, or incest? This is just my own view but if this affected me, there's no way I would want to talk about this on a first date -- or even the 10th. The only other option is for the person to lie and say they are a virgin (and they might see themselves as a virgin because they don't count/want to move past the abuse or try to forget it.)
And when we get down to the nitty gritty, what counts as the definition of a virgin?
I went through a very long time in my life (probably 20 years,) where people were constantly opening up to me about the sexual abuse they'd suffered. It was a very emotionally tough time for me, because I was always distraught in my prayers as to how I could possibly help or give these people hope.
If a man was sexually abused continuously by his uncle as a boy and young teen, but has never had a sexual experience outside of those incidences, does he now tell his dates that he is a virgin?
If a woman was date raped in college but had no other sexual contact, will her potential dates count that as virginity?
I think the most tragic thing is that stories like this are a lot more common than many would think.
In the Singles Forum, there have been several rounds of "I MUST Marry a Virgin" (even when one is not a virgin themselves, and the general consensus is that there are some who won't make any exceptions, not even for abuse. And I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, I'm just saying it's up to what God wants for them.
However, the "Are you a virgin?" interrogation becomes VERY complicated because it might be dancing around extremely sensitive issues someone might not feel comfortable talking about for a good long time - let alone in the first few months of dating.
This puts the person being questioned in a very unfair position - do they owe it to someone, especially if they're still pretty much a stranger, to go into these heart-wrenching details?
And if not, what do they say? If they just say no, the person will automatically assume they've lived some horrible sinful life while automatically shouting, "NEXT!"
And if they decide to claim they are still a virgin but then "come clean" later on, the other person is going to feel betrayed and may decide they can't trust this person.
Either way, everyone is set up to lose.
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