Husband doesn’t want me to be baptized

[AbidingInHim]

Obedience to the Lord is first, and you are to submit to your husband... as unto the Lord.

What does Christ want? He told the disciples to teach and baptize the nations. In Colossians, Paul wrote about being buried with Christ in baptism wherein we are also raised with Him through faith in the operation of God who raised Him from the dead. When Peter preached the gospel on the day of Pentecost and those listening asked what to do, he told them to repent and be baptized. In his epistle, he calls baptism the answer of a good conscience toward God.

A lot of evangelicals do not put proper weight on water baptism.

I am hesitant to tell a woman to oppose her husband, but you do need to obey the Lord in the area of baptism. I will pray to the Lord for favor.

Have you asked him that even if he thinks you are brainwashed, haven't you been a better wife?

If he opposed it all together I would still have to obey the Lord on this one and go forth. From the advice I’ve been given here the common threat I’m hearing is to try to keep the peace and wait until September when he will accompany me.
I think I’ve been a better wife. If I wasn’t Christian I would probably ditch the marriage and pursue my own happiness
That’s how the world thinks. There’s no faithfulness to the marriage covenant these days. Even among professing Christians.
my husband would say the “new” me is dull/boring
I cannot watch the shows we used to together
I do not gossip about people
I don’t get drunk .. or “let loose and have a few drinks on a Saturday night”
These are a few of the Worldly things that the natural man would love and relate to
The darkness doesn’t not like the light. I understand he thinks living for the Lord and wanting to be holy as God is holy just makes no sense to him. He told me I should just go be a nun. That’s how he thinks at this point
But on the other hand he is trying. He is not happy about it but he does not pressure me to drink or watch any offensive ungodly tv shows around me. He is compromising but he lets me know he’s not thrilled about it but for the sake of our children and his love for me he’s “putting up with it”

 

[blueluna5]

This is crazy. Are you guys even in love now? The reason I'm saying that is because he said he's now stuck with you bc of the kids. His heart does not seem to be with you... like a strange obligation.

On the other hand I'm surprised he's forking over money for the kids to go to christian school and allowing the every other weekend church.

I just get weird vibes from this. What's different about September verses now for him? He said he would go? Why then and not now? Is he planning on getting a divorce between that time?

People say things in the heat of the moment they don't really mean. Only you know the truth. If he really meant that statement about being stuck bc of the kids I would leave. Be careful with a man who no longer has you in his heart.

 

[Genipher]

This is crazy. Are you guys even in love now? The reason I'm saying that is because he said he's now stuck with you bc of the kids. His heart does not seem to be with you... like a strange obligation.

On the other hand I'm surprised he's forking over money for the kids to go to christian school and allowing the every other weekend church.

I just get weird vibes from this. What's different about September verses now for him? He said he would go? Why then and not now? Is he planning on getting a divorce between that time?

People say things in the heat of the moment they don't really mean. Only you know the truth. If he really meant that statement about being stuck bc of the kids I would leave. Be careful with a man who no longer has you in his heart.

She said earlier that he wants her to wait until September so their summer isn't ruined by her new faith.
He doesn't seem to realize that she's already changed, her faith will affect their summer anyway, and that the baptism is just a proclamation of that faith.

 

[Lanolin]

am sorry to hear this
A difficult situation, I just offer my situation...not married but living with athiest/agnostic parents

God called me to be water baptised and I put it off for ages but still went to church almost every week
I hadnt been baptised as an infant but was as a teen when went to univeristy and got into church I remember being dunked in a motel spa pool but actually wasnt born again till much later however only after was baptised in the spirit (in my bed at home!) and THEN God called me much to be water baptised when the baptist church was offering baptism to anyone (though I didnt end up joining that particular church) God nudged me. And this time I knew what it was about.
My mum just thought it was a christening and I dont think my dad even knew about it.

Basically its dying to self and being raised to Christ putting on new life. It not being baptised into a church/religion, I am free to fellowship with Born again christians of any denomination...I didnt do it to make a show and a lot of my friends couldnt make it to the baptism it was in the evening and I had friends from all different churches anyway...I was baptised with several others but it was the point of starting a new life that was really with me and the Lord and was a witness to anyone that could make it

But am glad I did it
And Jesus also was baptised himself as an adult

I was never stuck in one church I was free to do ministry in whatver the Lord had me to do with the new life He had given me and He would sometimes open one door and close another so have gotten used to the His ways (the wind blows where it will, such is everyone that is born of the spirit) and that wind or more like a river has led me to quite a wide area...the rivers in my area eventually all lead to the sea.

I think a lot of people growing up or experiencing religion tend to think church will take over your life and you'll be bound by it but Ive never found anyone in church to be coercive or controlling the curse causeless will not come as proverbs say... I am not bound, I am free....its part of your spiritual journey that God has you on and its important

the whole 'husband as head of the household' thing only applies to Christian husbands if they are not believers then you obey God or THEY can leave you if they want to

If your husband left you would that be a bad thing? If hes being ornery about it. I dont know how old your children are but if hes abusing you by controlling you thats not a good example for your children, who will come to know God as their Father anyway because Jesus would not treat a woman this way even if she was his wife He wouldnt tell her to go against or disobey God

I dont understand why in many marriages, husbands think they can control wives as if she doesnt have a brain capable of making any decisions. Its kind of weird.

 

[Lanolin]

Before I was born again and Jesus healed me I suffered from terrible mental illness
I wasnt really able to do anything was totally oppressed and Satan was having a field day (or years) with me was like living under a curse having to take medications etc all the time, in and out of hospital, and just living like a zombie..half dead.

Doctors couldnt treat or cure me I knew it was a God thing and its just a witness to the Lord and i know it might not have changed my parents but they actually sometimes come to church and probably am a better daughter because ...well I didnt go off with a boyfriend or get married to a controlling husband, I have always been able to get work doing what I enjoy and ministering to others, espeically reaching children in schools, spending probably more learning time with them than some of their parents do...just saying Jesus came to give me an abundant life and things have worked out that I do

Even if I dont have a family or house of my own and to me sometimes wives just get the short tend of the stick so many husbands abuse their wives its not funny why women people want to marry and be wives I dont know. God wants women to be sisters in Christ and marriage to me just seems a way of dealing with property and chattels. Theres more to life than being treated like a possession or furniture that comes with the house a husband is meant to look after his wife emotionally as well as physically so to abuse her by threatening things just seems terribly wrong. I would go for spiritual inheritance over any physical one.

 

[presidente]

She said earlier that he wants her to wait until September so their summer isn't ruined by her new faith.
He doesn't seem to realize that she's already changed, her faith will affect their summer anyway, and that the baptism is just a proclamation of that faith.

Where does the Bible teach that baptism is _just_ a proclamation of that faith? What about being buried and raised with Christ in baptism?

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

If he opposed it all together I would still have to obey the Lord on this one and go forth. From the advice I’ve been given here the common threat I’m hearing is to try to keep the peace and wait until September when he will accompany me.
I think I’ve been a better wife. If I wasn’t Christian I would probably ditch the marriage and pursue my own happiness
That’s how the world thinks. There’s no faithfulness to the marriage covenant these days. Even among professing Christians.
my husband would say the “new” me is dull/boring
I cannot watch the shows we used to together
I do not gossip about people
I don’t get drunk .. or “let loose and have a few drinks on a Saturday night”
These are a few of the Worldly things that the natural man would love and relate to
The darkness doesn’t not like the light. I understand he thinks living for the Lord and wanting to be holy as God is holy just makes no sense to him. He told me I should just go be a nun. That’s how he thinks at this point
But on the other hand he is trying. He is not happy about it but he does not pressure me to drink or watch any offensive ungodly tv shows around me. He is compromising but he lets me know he’s not thrilled about it but for the sake of our children and his love for me he’s “putting up with it”

Sounds like it could be a lot worse.
The hurtful things he says about becoming a nun are from his sin nature. That's all he has right now to deal with his frustration. His perspective is that you are a different person from who he married and probably feels out of control, hurt and threatened by that.
The Bible principles of I Corinthians 7:10, 13 you sound like you are applying are already working.

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:...For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth" 39
And Ephesians 5:22...
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"

It will be possible for you as a wife to love and to be subject to your own husband because the Holy Spirit within you and we can do all things through Christ which strengthens us.

As long as you are patient, keep following God's instructions rather than ungodly council from friends and family, you may be surprised what happens in a year or so. You will derive your strength and peace from the Lord Himself in the midst of imperfect circumstances.

The one hope you have is to have a soul winner reach your husband with the gospel.
Once you both are saved, you can grow together in the Lord.
Most churches won't do this, so you have to search for one in your area. Then you have to carefully select one with a true gospel. If you want help let me know. I would still be lost if someone didn't care enough to come to my home and share this great news.(video link)
The Bible tells us, "He that winneth souls is wise."
The church will usually advertise that they have a "Soul Winning Program," or something like that wording.

Best to you and your family!
📖🙂

 

[AbidingInHim]

Sounds like it could be a lot worse.
The hurtful things he says about becoming a nun are from his sin nature. That's all he has right now to deal with his frustration. His perspective is that you are a different person from who he married and probably feels out of control, hurt and threatened by that.
The Bible principles of I Corinthians 7:10, 13 you sound like you are applying are already working.

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:...For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth" 39
And Ephesians 5:22...
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"

It will be possible for you as a wife to love and to be subject to your own husband because the Holy Spirit within you and we can do all things through Christ which strengthens us.

As long as you are patient, keep following God's instructions rather than ungodly council from friends and family, you may be surprised what happens in a year or so. You will derive your strength and peace from the Lord Himself in the midst of imperfect circumstances.

The one hope you have is to have a soul winner reach your husband with the gospel.
Once you both are saved, you can grow together in the Lord.
Most churches won't do this, so you have to search for one in your area. Then you have to carefully select one with a true gospel. If you want help let me know. I would still be lost if someone didn't care enough to come to my home and share this great news.(video link)
The Bible tells us, "He that winneth souls is wise."
The church will usually advertise that they have a "Soul Winning Program," or something like that wording.

Best to you and your family!
📖🙂

Thank you
I appreciate your reply and i have been praying about this and what direction I should take
I happened to read an article about this subject as it seems a lot of women go through this
The comments I read at the bottom were eye opening.
So many women complaint their “Christian”husbands were on drugs, going to strip bars, spending thousands of dollars behind their backs… the list goes on. There were about 130 comments. The article was for wives with husbads who were unbelievers or they were not spiritual heads of the house and weak in their faith.
I could have it so much worse I see now
Yes my kids are in a Christian school and they go to Christian summer camps
I can read the Bible and disciple them I can take them to church every other weekend
My husband is a awesome provider
He’s responsible
He’s a loving father and he’s faithful.
I’ve come to realize I have moved so fast and done a 180 on him and he’s probably just adjusting to all of this but in a horrible childish manner.
A lot of the things he’s said are from a control issue yes and they are hurtful
But right now I’m the closest thing he has to knowing Jesus and if I leave him what good is that when he clearly needs Jesus. There’s many ways to suffer for Christ and this isn’t so bad I’m seeing how much worse many wives have it. Heartbreaking
but like you said we can only do it through Him and according to His will and timing.

 

[AbidingInHim]

Before I was born again and Jesus healed me I suffered from terrible mental illness
I wasnt really able to do anything was totally oppressed and Satan was having a field day (or years) with me was like living under a curse having to take medications etc all the time, in and out of hospital, and just living like a zombie..half dead.

Doctors couldnt treat or cure me I knew it was a God thing and its just a witness to the Lord and i know it might not have changed my parents but they actually sometimes come to church and probably am a better daughter because ...well I didnt go off with a boyfriend or get married to a controlling husband, I have always been able to get work doing what I enjoy and ministering to others, espeically reaching children in schools, spending probably more learning time with them than some of their parents do...just saying Jesus came to give me an abundant life and things have worked out that I do

Even if I dont have a family or house of my own and to me sometimes wives just get the short tend of the stick so many husbands abuse their wives its not funny why women people want to marry and be wives I dont know. God wants women to be sisters in Christ and marriage to me just seems a way of dealing with property and chattels. Theres more to life than being treated like a possession or furniture that comes with the house a husband is meant to look after his wife emotionally as well as physically so to abuse her by threatening things just seems terribly wrong. I would go for spiritual inheritance over any physical one.

Thank you for sharing your testimony 💗Don’t get married unless you’re sure your marrying a born again Christian. 😀

 

[Genipher]

the whole 'husband as head of the household' thing only applies to Christian husbands if they are not believers then you obey God or THEY can leave you if they want to

Curious, Lanolin, where does the Bible say a husband is only the head of the home if he's a Christian?

 

[brighthouse98]

You know sister Abiding there are many secret believers, the word of God speaks of one found in (John 19:38) SO!!!! Do it in secret!!

 

[brighthouse98]

The Lord helps those who are fearful of their mate and says (Matt 10:37-39) so others may wish to consider this as well.

 

[TheLearner]

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

Have your Pastor and some Elders visit you both at home.

 

[Lanolin]

Curious, Lanolin, where does the Bible say a husband is only the head of the home if he's a Christian?

1 Corinthians 1:13?

Talking about married people worshipping in church, plus when it says women to be silent they can ask their husbands at home.

If your husband is not a christian. or you have no husband, who do you ask?

 

[Billyd]

1 Corinthians 1:13?

Talking about married people worshipping in church, plus when it says women to be silent they can ask their husbands at home.

If your husband is not a christian. or you have no husband, who do you ask?

The older Christian women.

Tit 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Tit 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tit 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

 

[Lanolin]

hm ok
well this husband seems ok with the baptism part but just wants to delay the timing. What is a few months.
If God wants it to happen right now He can make anything happen. Talk to your pastor about having another baptism opporunity in September.

With mine God sent me to a church that was always baptising all the time and was inviting people, (who werent even attending that church regularly) I just happened to visit this church one Sunday and got baptised the next evening lol.

 

[oldman]

Yeah I love that movie I wanted him to watch it with me but he’s not interested
My husband is like Lee Stobel but times 1000
😖
I feel it would take a miracle for him to humble himself before the Lord
But hey we’re talking about the creator or the universe
Nothing is too hard for God
But on the other hand some are not his sheep and he may never be saved.

"a miracle for him to humble himself before the Lord"
Please read of Pauls conversion in Acts chapter 9.
Miracles do happen

 

[SomeDisciple]

Non-believers are hilarious. "I don't believe in God, but I believe water will brainwash you!".
...of course magical water is a real thing; but GOD?!?! Lol.

I think it's ridiculous that your church will not baptize you like, right now. A month and a half? Really?

 

[ChristsChild]

am sorry to hear this
A difficult situation, I just offer my situation...not married but living with athiest/agnostic parents

God called me to be water baptised and I put it off for ages but still went to church almost every week
I hadnt been baptised as an infant but was as a teen when went to univeristy and got into church I remember being dunked in a motel spa pool but actually wasnt born again till much later however only after was baptised in the spirit (in my bed at home!) and THEN God called me much to be water baptised when the baptist church was offering baptism to anyone (though I didnt end up joining that particular church) God nudged me. And this time I knew what it was about.
My mum just thought it was a christening and I dont think my dad even knew about it.

Basically its dying to self and being raised to Christ putting on new life. It not being baptised into a church/religion, I am free to fellowship with Born again christians of any denomination...I didnt do it to make a show and a lot of my friends couldnt make it to the baptism it was in the evening and I had friends from all different churches anyway...I was baptised with several others but it was the point of starting a new life that was really with me and the Lord and was a witness to anyone that could make it

But am glad I did it
And Jesus also was baptised himself as an adult

I was never stuck in one church I was free to do ministry in whatver the Lord had me to do with the new life He had given me and He would sometimes open one door and close another so have gotten used to the His ways (the wind blows where it will, such is everyone that is born of the spirit) and that wind or more like a river has led me to quite a wide area...the rivers in my area eventually all lead to the sea.

I think a lot of people growing up or experiencing religion tend to think church will take over your life and you'll be bound by it but Ive never found anyone in church to be coercive or controlling the curse causeless will not come as proverbs say... I am not bound, I am free....its part of your spiritual journey that God has you on and its important

the whole 'husband as head of the household' thing only applies to Christian husbands if they are not believers then you obey God or THEY can leave you if they want to

If your husband left you would that be a bad thing? If hes being ornery about it. I dont know how old your children are but if hes abusing you by controlling you thats not a good example for your children, who will come to know God as their Father anyway because Jesus would not treat a woman this way even if she was his wife He wouldnt tell her to go against or disobey God

I dont understand why in many marriages, husbands think they can control wives as if she doesnt have a brain capable of making any decisions. Its kind of weird.

I agree that it's an odd proposition to think God, who tells us not to be married to atheists, would be understood to decree the atheist husband has been appointed by God is to have authority over his Christian wife .

That said, the OP doesn't feel right. I don't believe this scenario is real.

 

[oldman]

I agree that it's an odd proposition to think God, who tells us not to be married to atheists, would be understood to decree the atheist husband has been appointed by God is to have authority over his Christian wife .

That said, the OP doesn't feel right. I don't believe this scenario is real.

Please read 1 Corinthians 7:13-15