A few months back I was going through a trial that was laying heavy on my faith and I was unsure of the future. I had been dealing with bad nerve and lower back pain for the last 6 years from a vehicle accident. Well, my back had started giving me so much pain I was forced to take an extended leave from work that I was thinking it would only be a few weeks.
But it turned into a month and a half, filled with Dr visits, physical therapy, and a lot of stress. I was having high anxiety while the Drs couldn't pinpoint a problem, waiting on my paychecks to come in, wondering if I needed to begin searching for a desk job etc.
I was struggling real hard trying to trust God and spent a lot of time in prayer, pain, tears, and worries. I felt crippled and the nerve pain was making my right leg really weak and not work right. The lower back would get real sore and tight making movement feel as if it was easily prone to injury.
Finally, my Dr told me he still couldn't pinpoint a problem but the was going to try using a long needle to stick in my spine and deliver a large dose of medication to try and help heal the problem.
Of course not ever having this done I didn't know what to expect and not knowing what to expect makes me really anxious.
And so I fell into the only person I trusted that has true control over my life. Jesus was on my mind day and night during my anxiety waiting on the day. I knew on the day I could choose being put to sleep or drugged up on happy pills. I didn't want to do neither as to like I love to be in control of my mind. And I have this weird fear of being put to sleep as to not knowing if I'll wake back up.
Then the morning arrived and God showed up that morning when I needed him most. But what really helped me was what God told me a few days before my scheduled procedure.
I felt God speak to me through these verses saying me in green and God in red.
[h=1]Mark 4:35-41New International Version (NIV)[/h][h=3]Jesus Calms the Storm[/h][FONT="]35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we (I am about to) drown?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.[/FONT]
[FONT="]40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”[/FONT]
I had felt this storm within my mind and I felt God tell me to be quiet and be still and wait for he was going to calm the storm. And at that moment God asks me the very same questions. Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?
It was a strong confronting rebuking response to my anxiety.
And so the day of my appointment arrived and I knew God was with me and felt his presence. I felt a very calmness within me and was handling it far better than I have in the past. I denied being put to sleep and decided to take the drugs. hey waited for the drugs to kick in but they failed to wait long enough and I threw them up from having no food on the stomach and nerves. So I was then faced to walk into this storm no drugs. Dr told me I could come back another day but I knew that wouldn't make it any easier.
Keep in mind even though I was still anxious, I still felt secure and calm if that makes sense. And so I gave the go ahead and began to pray my way through the storm. I had a good Dr, great nurses and they took good care of me. The nurse talked to me while they numbed my back. I was just so focused on not moving so they wouldn't paralyze me.
I survived but I didn't start to feel healing until a month later even though they told me it would take 7 days.
I feel very blessed for God worked through my mind and the medical staff to bring healing to my back. I still have small issues but my mobility is far better and I have more hope than I had. I was literally at the last thing to try by Drs because they didn't even recommend surgery.
So this is my latest testimony showing how God worked in me as I faced my storm.
Unspoken- Sleep in the Storm
[video]https://youtu.be/USu2p44kymU[/video]
But it turned into a month and a half, filled with Dr visits, physical therapy, and a lot of stress. I was having high anxiety while the Drs couldn't pinpoint a problem, waiting on my paychecks to come in, wondering if I needed to begin searching for a desk job etc.
I was struggling real hard trying to trust God and spent a lot of time in prayer, pain, tears, and worries. I felt crippled and the nerve pain was making my right leg really weak and not work right. The lower back would get real sore and tight making movement feel as if it was easily prone to injury.
Finally, my Dr told me he still couldn't pinpoint a problem but the was going to try using a long needle to stick in my spine and deliver a large dose of medication to try and help heal the problem.
Of course not ever having this done I didn't know what to expect and not knowing what to expect makes me really anxious.
And so I fell into the only person I trusted that has true control over my life. Jesus was on my mind day and night during my anxiety waiting on the day. I knew on the day I could choose being put to sleep or drugged up on happy pills. I didn't want to do neither as to like I love to be in control of my mind. And I have this weird fear of being put to sleep as to not knowing if I'll wake back up.
Then the morning arrived and God showed up that morning when I needed him most. But what really helped me was what God told me a few days before my scheduled procedure.
I felt God speak to me through these verses saying me in green and God in red.
[h=1]Mark 4:35-41New International Version (NIV)[/h][h=3]Jesus Calms the Storm[/h][FONT="]35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we (I am about to) drown?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.[/FONT]
[FONT="]40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”[/FONT]
I had felt this storm within my mind and I felt God tell me to be quiet and be still and wait for he was going to calm the storm. And at that moment God asks me the very same questions. Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?
It was a strong confronting rebuking response to my anxiety.
And so the day of my appointment arrived and I knew God was with me and felt his presence. I felt a very calmness within me and was handling it far better than I have in the past. I denied being put to sleep and decided to take the drugs. hey waited for the drugs to kick in but they failed to wait long enough and I threw them up from having no food on the stomach and nerves. So I was then faced to walk into this storm no drugs. Dr told me I could come back another day but I knew that wouldn't make it any easier.
Keep in mind even though I was still anxious, I still felt secure and calm if that makes sense. And so I gave the go ahead and began to pray my way through the storm. I had a good Dr, great nurses and they took good care of me. The nurse talked to me while they numbed my back. I was just so focused on not moving so they wouldn't paralyze me.
I survived but I didn't start to feel healing until a month later even though they told me it would take 7 days.
I feel very blessed for God worked through my mind and the medical staff to bring healing to my back. I still have small issues but my mobility is far better and I have more hope than I had. I was literally at the last thing to try by Drs because they didn't even recommend surgery.
So this is my latest testimony showing how God worked in me as I faced my storm.
Unspoken- Sleep in the Storm
[video]https://youtu.be/USu2p44kymU[/video]
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