If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.
Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.
Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.
I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
A while back, we had another young man declaring the same thing -- that he had no friends and it must be because he was too ugly. He eventually posted a picture and I don't know if it was really a picture of him or not, but he wasn't physically ugly at all.
We all have insecurities and this world seems determined to reinforce them, but have you considered that perhaps your lack of friends might be in regards to the way you respond to people, rather than how you look?
I have been trying to keep up with all the threads you've written here, as I find them interesting. But there is a distinct and undeniable pattern throughout all your writings and replies to those who answer you. Here's a good example.
You asked if women prefer a virgin or someone who is "experienced," and a Christian woman answered you sincerely, saying that the most important thing to her was to find a man with a heart for God.
Your reply to her was this:
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.
I will give you an exemple sister.
if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
First, you accused her of not marrying a virgin, when she said nothing about this. Second, you automatically restate virginity is "a turnoff for women, even if they don't admit it," claiming, "It's something deep inside, something biological."
And this appears to be a hallmark throughout your threads and posts.
1. You have a certain set of very ingrained beliefs about how the world is (and we all do, I get that.) BUT...
2. You argue with anyone who has anything even remotely different to say, rendering their own beliefs and experiences invalid in your eyes. How many people want to talk to someone who completely dismisses anything they have to say?
3. You have no interest in anything else anyone posts unless it backs what you already firmly believe to be true.
I'm not trying to sound critical and I normally like to be encouraging, but I'm honestly shocked that you apparently don't see any problems here and blame it all on appearance. I'm not saying that appearance doesn't matter, because we all know it does (along with personal hygiene.)
But when you ask yourself, what do I have to offer as a friend, and what would I hope for a friend to be?
Are you hoping for friends who all have their own set-in-stone beliefs about how the world and people are, and won't listen to anything you have to say if it differs from what they believe? Are you looking for people who, when you try to sincerely share what you truly think, will then cut you off and say something like, "No, no, that's not what you really think or believe because I know better. THIS is what you really think and THIS is how the world really is..."
I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but at least in writing, you project an attitude of only caring about stating and reinforcing your own thoughts and not even listening to anyone else's. And I understand that we all do this to a certain degree, but there is a breaking point. People don't want to spend what little spare time they have trying to talk to those who are impossible to talk to.
I'm not sure if you are looking for what you do to others in your posts -- ignoring and dismissing their contributions -- but I can assure you that most people aren't looking for this and definitely won't put up with it for long. Everyone, and I would guess you are included in this, is looking for someone who will at least listen to what they have to say and demonstrate some ability to be able to understand their point of view and learn from it.
And I'm certainly not going to tell you that finding friends is easy. I haven't had an "in real life" nearby friend in about 10 years, due to situations in my own life. But I do have old friends from my hometown, as well as long-distance friends I've met online (right here on this site), so now I try to save up in order to visit as many as I can throughout the year. I understand this doesn't work for most, but I've always been outside the box myself.
Can I ask you, if you focused on the aspect of really listening to people and wanting to learn from them instead of trying to make up their minds for them, what do you think you might find?
2
1
