Why most marriages won’t work?
- Thread starter Akinonli
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Depends on the ethno-groups, if we look at Christians, to the best of my knowledge the tendency is that the majority of marriages work out. I think the fact that there is a discrepancy between the general population and Christians says a lot about the topic itself.
E.g. https://www.christiantoday.com/article/christian.marriages.have.higher.success.rate/29292.htm
I wonder what happens to the divorce rate when you factor in both Christian belief (and other beliefs) AND the number of prior sexual partners. Apparently that's a major factor in predicting the likelihood of divorce. One would assume that there's some correlation between Christian belief and a low number of prior sexual partners, but one shouldn't always assume that (especially in the case of adult converts but even in other cases), and it may provide some additional explanatory insight.
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Polar
Guest
it's disgusting and these charlatans will have to answer to God for their deception and lies
however the Bible also states that people who follow such have itching ears and love this type of thing....for that matter, God also states in His word that when people are deceived like that...when they believe a lie...it is because they do not love the truth
For the time is coming when people will not have patience for sound teaching, but will cater to their passions and gather around themselves teachers who say whatever their ears itch to hear. II Timothy 4:3
There is nothing wrong if they are both contract and covenant. Since the majority of people are not Christians, they would have no idea about covenants.
But the title of this thread should actually be "Why most marriages WILL work".
If the bride and bridegroom tell each other in all sincerity -- BEFORE THE WEDDING -- "Divorce will be out of the question!" then that is already a guarantee that the marriages would work.
Now, can every marital issue be resolved? Absolutely. There is not a single issue which cannot be resolved provided (a) both persons love each other, (b) both persons are committed to their families, and (c) both persons understand that there must be give and take in any relationship.
Marriage is a complicated matter and there are many multi-layered issues on why they don't work (for bad marriages).
Of course there may be trust and commitment issues.
But I believe the biggest issue is that Person A is trying to change Person B (and vice versa) to be more compatible instead of accepting him/her as they are. Obviously, there would be no issues for Person A if Person B does everything he/she says. Person A also wants full control of Person B (or vice versa). So what happens is that one person gives in to keep peace, but he/she is slowly growing more resentful. Passive-aggressiveness and other foul behavior may grow during this time. Marriage involves a lot of compromise, and sometimes Person A may want Person B to make more compromises than he/she is willing.
Of course there may be trust and commitment issues.
But I believe the biggest issue is that Person A is trying to change Person B (and vice versa) to be more compatible instead of accepting him/her as they are. Obviously, there would be no issues for Person A if Person B does everything he/she says. Person A also wants full control of Person B (or vice versa). So what happens is that one person gives in to keep peace, but he/she is slowly growing more resentful. Passive-aggressiveness and other foul behavior may grow during this time. Marriage involves a lot of compromise, and sometimes Person A may want Person B to make more compromises than he/she is willing.
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kaylagrl
Guest
I think there is a difference between marriages within the church and outside of the church. At least there should be! The Bible gives the only reason to divorce as adultery, I would add to that abuse. My father always says that accomplishing anything is 99% making up your mind. People have watched too many Hollywood movies about what "love" is. Very few people have real expectations when they marry. Both people think they have married the "perfect" person but that is quickly shattered if your expectations aren't met. People tend to be immature and selfish. Being married ties into the Christian life. To be married you have to sacrifice, you have to be a servant, you have to forgive and above all be faithful. That is the foundation of a marriage that will last.
Marriage may not be a business proposal but it is certainly a partnership with obligations on both partners. So along comes one selfish partner and says "Oh, today I am not really feeling too compatible because of the weather. How about we split up and go our separate ways?"
Well he was a guest speaker and some of the gas speakers we used to have in my opinion were charlatans as you mentioned
I remember we were in a week-long revival and this one guest speaker didn't do anything but yeah for an entire hour. I didn't bother going back to hear him again
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kaylagrl
Guest
Verily verily a wise man.....
My parents have been married 50 years, coming up on 51. They very different personalities and interests. Not necessarily two people you would put together. But they stayed committed and have made it through. And they haven't had an easy life, but they will both tell you a blessed one. Put in the work, God will bless it.
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kaylagrl
Guest
My father was 19 when he married my mother, she a couple yrs older. The very next yr they had me. They had to grow and mature fast. My father was a new Christian, he had come to faith a couple yrs before meeting Mom. She had grown up in the church and her faith steadied his. He came from a broken home, out to work when he was 14, she came from a stable Christian home. With love and patience my Mother helped my father grow and mature to the point that he became an evangelist. My sister and I joined him in ministry. That was a long, long way from the boy that was from the wrong side of the tracks. Because of that, my grandmother came to the Lord and two of his brothers. We still pray for the other two. Sometimes God sends us the person we need, not the one we think we want.
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Polar
Guest
this is what you said
I say that is baloney right there. We all need compatibility. We are not made on an assembly line. Your last 2 sentences on the top post are nonsense.
whatever
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Polar
Guest
very very rarely someone might stand up and say 'what are you doing?' but they will be the person everyone frowns upon instead of the fakery up front. about all you can do these days, is use the door and don't return.
they love to use the word revival. they say this or that will happen but when nothing happens, then they blame it on people in the congregation having a lack of faith or some other false excuse
Christianity has become something of a mine field.....you watch where you step