Why Does Society Seem to Think That Cougars... Should Be Shot? (Older Woman and Younger Men.)

[Lanolin]

thats terrible seoul
I have heard of lots of women paying for their ex spouse upkeep and the 'love children' i.e the children that their ex had the affair with.

It doesnt seem right to me, I dont know if the justice system is just skewed or what, I dont know enough about divorce court or settlements to judge that.

I do know if you get into a relationship with someone, and you dont even have to marry, the law says (in nz anyway) that after two years half the property is deemed yours should you split up. This suggests that relationships involve a lot more than feelings, it involves finances, property and assets.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

A lot of men feel that if the woman is making good money, the man doesn't need to contribute towards the child and the child is "her problem." However, I believe this attitude is changing, perhaps due to the "feminization" of men, as a lot of fathers genuinely want to be involved in their kids' lives now whereas before the men commonly do a runner. Or, maybe this is due to the availability of DNA tests. When a man knows a child is "his" he is more likely to pay.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

A male will always want to protect his offspring

 

[Lanolin]

A male will always want to protect his offspring

i dont think thats necessarily true, and there seem to be heaps of scenarios where the male just stands by while their girlfriend or even wife gets an abortion because he cant afford or doesnt want to be responsible.

even after birth, some only stick around until they find someone else to go off with. I think there is less chance a male looks after female offspring than male though. A lot of dads will abandon their daughters over their sons.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

i dont think thats necessarily true, and there seem to be heaps of scenarios where the male just stands by while their girlfriend or even wife gets an abortion because he cant afford or doesnt want to be responsible.

even after birth, some only stick around until they find someone else to go off with. I think there is less chance a male looks after female offspring than male though. A lot of dads will abandon their daughters over their sons.

I would say that the guys but acting such way are lacking in some masculine energies otherwise it's unnatural for them to not protect their offspring even if if they are are not with just one female.

 

[Lanolin]

I would say that the guys but acting such way are lacking in some masculine energies otherwise it's unnatural for them to not protect their offspring even if if they are are not with just one female.

dont think its anything to do with masculine energy cos you can argue that women then dont have masculine energy to protect their offspring lol.

 

[ADSYCREATIVE]

Hey Everyone,

I was reading an article about the singer, Madonna, who was basically the original "Lady Gaga" when I was a kid, is apparently 62 years old -- and dating a 27-year-old.

The article then proceeded to talk about all the flack she is getting for this, and how society seems to readily accept 62-year-old men dating 27-year-old women, but for some reason, throw a fit when it's the other way around.

Why do you think this is?

I have had regular contact with older relatives all of my life, and in their social circles, the single women all say, "The men our age are looking for a nurse, or a purse." Apparently, they are claiming that men want someone to care for them as their health falters, and/or someone to support them and pay for their cost of living.

Now I can't speak for everyone, but I have also seen this in the churches I've attended (granted, the congregations are often mostly 60 and older,) as well as on Christian dating sites.

I don't want to be someone who roots my belief in stereotypes but I don't want to be completely naive to reality, either.

* If so many men are looking for younger partners and it has become somewhat accepted, why isn't the same thing considered acceptable for women?

(Or maybe it is, and I just haven't met the people who think so?)

Our whole society seems to be obsessed with youth, and even Christians are hopping on the bandwagon.

* Why should (or shouldn't) there be a double standards when it comes to whom the age brackets men and women look for?

As a woman who has experienced a little of both -- being asked out both by men who are 40 years older and a few who are 20 years younger -- I can see some of the pro's and con's to heading in either direction.

What about all of you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this topic!

As someone who progressively dated younger men through the years, I have had all sorts of ugly words thrown at me. The men weren't the best either.....all in all it is a hypocritical perspective that we can only work around with God in the midst of it. If a wonderful Godly young man is mature enough to handle an older partner as his wife, then hallelujah! Having said that, it is hard enough to meet sane, wholesome, healthy Christian born again men let alone ones that are younger than us! I speak as an older woman who is often mistaken for a much younger woman. The current glamorising of our Christian Youth and the shenanigans of the subsequent youth groups do not help the late bloomers in the faith. There are so many dimensions to this issue, we are not even scratching the surface. I came to faith from Islam, after some pretty unwise choices and moves. Thank God He is a great Redeemer and brings beauty from ashes. I am in no way jaded or unattractive but in the Christian dating world, I am potentially only suitable for certain kind of men whatever that means, thereby limiting me to only a certain group of men while writing off others completely. This is pretty much the view people have imposed on me. So I have decided being single and content is the best way forward! Will reserve my fire and passion for the Lord! Young men or otherwise! haha

 

[kinda]

As someone who progressively dated younger men through the years, I have had all sorts of ugly words thrown at me. The men weren't the best either.....all in all it is a hypocritical perspective that we can only work around with God in the midst of it. If a wonderful Godly young man is mature enough to handle an older partner as his wife, then hallelujah! Having said that, it is hard enough to meet sane, wholesome, healthy Christian born again men let alone ones that are younger than us! I speak as an older woman who is often mistaken for a much younger woman. The current glamorising of our Christian Youth and the shenanigans of the subsequent youth groups do not help the late bloomers in the faith. There are so many dimensions to this issue, we are not even scratching the surface. I came to faith from Islam, after some pretty unwise choices and moves. Thank God He is a great Redeemer and brings beauty from ashes. I am in no way jaded or unattractive but in the Christian dating world, I am potentially only suitable for certain kind of men whatever that means, thereby limiting me to only a certain group of men while writing off others completely. This is pretty much the view people have imposed on me. So I have decided being single and content is the best way forward! Will reserve my fire and passion for the Lord! Young men or otherwise! haha

It's so much easier being single, maybe it will catch on one day. Once being single gets trendy though, will probably start dating. I can't stand falling the crowd. Plus, at that point I think men will once again, get the respect they deserve. Yes, I just said that.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

As someone who progressively dated younger men through the years, I have had all sorts of ugly words thrown at me. The men weren't the best either.....all in all it is a hypocritical perspective that we can only work around with God in the midst of it. If a wonderful Godly young man is mature enough to handle an older partner as his wife, then hallelujah! Having said that, it is hard enough to meet sane, wholesome, healthy Christian born again men let alone ones that are younger than us! I speak as an older woman who is often mistaken for a much younger woman. The current glamorising of our Christian Youth and the shenanigans of the subsequent youth groups do not help the late bloomers in the faith. There are so many dimensions to this issue, we are not even scratching the surface. I came to faith from Islam, after some pretty unwise choices and moves. Thank God He is a great Redeemer and brings beauty from ashes. I am in no way jaded or unattractive but in the Christian dating world, I am potentially only suitable for certain kind of men whatever that means, thereby limiting me to only a certain group of men while writing off others completely. This is pretty much the view people have imposed on me. So I have decided being single and content is the best way forward! Will reserve my fire and passion for the Lord! Young men or otherwise! haha

Maturity and age dont usually equal. I was born middle aged and have got progressively younger and my body aged lol.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

A lot of men feel that if the woman is making good money, the man doesn't need to contribute towards the child and the child is "her problem." However, I believe this attitude is changing, perhaps due to the "feminization" of men, as a lot of fathers genuinely want to be involved in their kids' lives now whereas before the men commonly do a runner. Or, maybe this is due to the availability of DNA tests. When a man knows a child is "his" he is more likely to pay.

It is sad that at men and are not focusing on what works best for their individual family and instead making selfish choices or thinking more about what others they conclude from their actions. Down to a lack of confidence I believe

 

[Hungry]

Hey Everyone,

I was reading an article about the singer, Madonna, who was basically the original "Lady Gaga" when I was a kid, is apparently 62 years old -- and dating a 27-year-old.

The article then proceeded to talk about all the flack she is getting for this, and how society seems to readily accept 62-year-old men dating 27-year-old women, but for some reason, throw a fit when it's the other way around.

Why do you think this is?

I have had regular contact with older relatives all of my life, and in their social circles, the single women all say, "The men our age are looking for a nurse, or a purse." Apparently, they are claiming that men want someone to care for them as their health falters, and/or someone to support them and pay for their cost of living.

Now I can't speak for everyone, but I have also seen this in the churches I've attended (granted, the congregations are often mostly 60 and older,) as well as on Christian dating sites.

I don't want to be someone who roots my belief in stereotypes but I don't want to be completely naive to reality, either.

* If so many men are looking for younger partners and it has become somewhat accepted, why isn't the same thing considered acceptable for women?

(Or maybe it is, and I just haven't met the people who think so?)

Our whole society seems to be obsessed with youth, and even Christians are hopping on the bandwagon.

* Why should (or shouldn't) there be a double standards when it comes to whom the age brackets men and women look for?

As a woman who has experienced a little of both -- being asked out both by men who are 40 years older and a few who are 20 years younger -- I can see some of the pro's and con's to heading in either direction.

What about all of you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this topic!

It all has to do with how one defines themselves. If I see myself as a sexy young man, even in my fifties, I will find a mate to verify that, like a hot younger woman. If I see myself as someone who needs a caregiver, perhaps I will seek a motherly older woman. Others who are more sociopathic just see people as objects and find ones that they can use and manipulate.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

It all has to do with how one defines themselves. If I see myself as a sexy young man, even in my fifties, I will find a mate to verify that, like a hot younger woman. If I see myself as someone who needs a caregiver, perhaps I will seek a motherly older woman. Others who are more sociopathic just see people as objects and find ones that they can use and manipulate.

Very interesting

 

[Lanolin]

well reading Mad about the Boy by Helen Fielding hasnt helped matters.
Its clearly on the side of toy boy = really stupid thing to do. But great entertainment.

Sure people can be stupid with each other at any age.

Model Rachel Hunter married rock star Rod Stewart and he was actually older than her dad. he was 24 years older than her. They had 2 children. They split up because...who knows. Of course tongues wagged at the time.
Then she was going to marry someone 13 years her junior. But the wedding was called off.

so, sure, age doesnt matter if you're a model right. Besides, plastic surgery doesnt age does it. It just melts in the hot sun.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Lol. We are interested in how others live.

 

[Lanolin]

I had to look it up on wikipedia.

Hags mags like to give dates on all couples. Their reporting style is always so and so movie starlet (age in brackets) is going out with so and so rock star hunk (age in brackets). The. they will give a papparazzi picture of them holding hands as proof and conclusive evidence that they are TOGETHER.

I used to work in a photo library set up keywording pictures for a comapny that also sold those kinds of pics to the magazines. It was a mind numbing job to say the least.

 

[Lanolin]

Rachel Hunter, if you are reading this, we dont think any less of you.
You are a shining example of womanhood. You cant beat a trumpet. It wont happen overnight, but it will happen. To you. Good for you. God bless you, and your children too.

 

[Gojira]

Hey Everyone,

I was reading an article about the singer, Madonna, who was basically the original "Lady Gaga" when I was a kid, is apparently 62 years old -- and dating a 27-year-old.

The article then proceeded to talk about all the flack she is getting for this, and how society seems to readily accept 62-year-old men dating 27-year-old women, but for some reason, throw a fit when it's the other way around.

Why do you think this is?

I have had regular contact with older relatives all of my life, and in their social circles, the single women all say, "The men our age are looking for a nurse, or a purse." Apparently, they are claiming that men want someone to care for them as their health falters, and/or someone to support them and pay for their cost of living.

Now I can't speak for everyone, but I have also seen this in the churches I've attended (granted, the congregations are often mostly 60 and older,) as well as on Christian dating sites.

I don't want to be someone who roots my belief in stereotypes but I don't want to be completely naive to reality, either.

* If so many men are looking for younger partners and it has become somewhat accepted, why isn't the same thing considered acceptable for women?

(Or maybe it is, and I just haven't met the people who think so?)

Our whole society seems to be obsessed with youth, and even Christians are hopping on the bandwagon.

* Why should (or shouldn't) there be a double standards when it comes to whom the age brackets men and women look for?

As a woman who has experienced a little of both -- being asked out both by men who are 40 years older and a few who are 20 years younger -- I can see some of the pro's and con's to heading in either direction.

What about all of you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this topic!

Yeah, I got my perceptions on this stuff, but I'm not sure what God thinks of them. And, I will receive flack from some people.

If you want to date someone older than you, by, say, a 15-year or greater differential, then remind yourself that the older, more experienced, down to earth person will get old before you do. That might mean that, when you're 55 or so, you may be pushing your spouse around in a wheelchair while they're sucking on an O2 tank. (I had a 19yo approach me once in a chat site. When I reminded her of this fact about aging, she said she never considered that, and backed off.)

I love younger women, would prefer someone younger, but I'm not closed to someone in my decade (50s). With the rarest of exceptions, I would not date much older.

Now, I get annoyed when I see maybe 25% to 30% of Christian women on dating sites wanting a man 10 years their junior. Is this fair? I don't know. Should they also not get annoyed with me? (Although, like I said, I am not closed to the idea of getting together with someone also in their 50s. But, still.) The sexes are different and we generally age differently too. But, still, is this a nature / God thing or a shallow human thing?? I don't have those answers. I only know how I feel.

If I am wrong, then I ask the Holy Spirit to change my heart on the matter.

 

[Magenta]

If we read the Bible, David was given a young virgin to walk naked in front of him to warm his blood just before he died.

1 Kings 1:1 Now King David was old and well along in years, and though they covered him with
blankets, he could not keep warm. 2 So his servants said to him, “Let us search for a young virgin
for our lord the king, to attend to him and care for him and lie by his side to keep him warm.”

 

[Gojira]

1 Kings 1:1 Now King David was old and well along in years, and though they covered him with
blankets, he could not keep warm. 2 So his servants said to him, “Let us search for a young virgin
for our lord the king, to attend to him and care for him and lie by his side to keep him warm.”

Yeah... where does it say anything about her being nude??

 

[Gojira]

By the way, I think neither "cougars" nor older men seeking younger women should be shot. If they can get it... well more power to them.