The Lord God said, "it is not good for man to be alone," but...

[tourist]

oh?
what about Genesis 24:14?

Rebekkah is "the woman appointed by God to be Isaac's wife"

Sounds like a soulmate to me, scripturally as well as physically.

 

[posthuman]

Sounds like a soulmate to me, scripturally as well as physically.

wish i had one

or do i?

​

this is an hard teaching

 

[seoulsearch]

oh?
what about Genesis 24:14?

Rebekkah is "the woman appointed by God to be Isaac's wife"

Sounds like a soulmate to me, scripturally as well as physically.

wish i had one

or do i?

​

​

​

this is an hard teaching

This is intriguing.

Post and Tourist, you are both married brothers in Christ... ?

What are you beliefs about the thought of God creating or predestining soulmates?

Do you feel your wife is your soulmate? Why or why not?


One thing is for sure. Even if Isaac and Rebekah WERE soulmates, it sure wasn't any kind of insurance policy against selfishness, bad decisions, and terrible consequences.

What if God told Isaac the day they met, "Yes, she's beautiful, but she's is going to favor a different son than you and deceive you to get what she wants for him, rather than the son you love most and the rightful heir. Her lies are eventually going to cost you a relationship with the younger of these two sons, and will result in bitter hatred between them and their descendants."

What if God told Rebekah when she met him for the first time, "Yes, he's wealthy. So much so that even his enemies envy him, because I am going to make him even more so. But, despite all his wealth, he is not going to protect you when you need it most. When men notice how beautiful you are, he is going to lie to them, leaving you vulnerable to their abuses, because he will value his own life more than yours."

Would Isaac and Rebekah have went ahead and gone through with the wedding if they knew this about each other from the start?

Soulmates or not, that's one marriage I know I wouldn't want if I were given a choice.

 

[jennymae]

This is intriguing.

Post and Tourist, you are both married brothers in Christ... ?

What are you beliefs about the thought of God creating or predestining soulmates?

Do you feel your wife is your soulmate? Why or why not?


One thing is for sure. Even if Isaac and Rebekah WERE soulmates, it sure wasn't any kind of insurance policy against selfishness, bad decisions, and terrible consequences.

What if God told Isaac the day they met, "Yes, she's beautiful, but she's is going to favor a different son than you and deceive you to get what she wants for him, rather than the son you love most and the rightful heir. Her lies are eventually going to cost you a relationship with the younger of these two sons, and will result in bitter hatred between them and their descendants."

What if God told Rebekah when she met him for the first time, "Yes, he's wealthy. So much so that even his enemies envy him, because I am going to make him even more so. But, despite all his wealth, he is not going to protect you when you need it most. When men notice how beautiful you are, he is going to lie to them, leaving you vulnerable to their abuses, because he will value his own life more than yours."

Would Isaac and Rebekah have went ahead and gone through with the wedding if they knew this about each other from the start?

Soulmates or not, that's one marriage I know I wouldn't want if I were given a choice.

Me neither. A man like that would be like being married to a coward. I’m divorced and that’s something which grieves me still, but whatever I would have to say about my ex is that he was never a coward.

 

[sheborn2x]

Just because God made a helpmate for everyone, doesn't mean we will recognize this person when we meet them. It also doesn't even mean we will be in the right place at the right time(we might choose to be somewhere else at that moment), to ever meet them. Life is one long series of choices, and our free will allows us the opportunity to miss such chances of fate.

Exactly my thoughts... I believe man can get it wrong. But, I think there's someone predetermined by God or we wouldn't have to be in the right place at the right time to meet the someone.

If we have only one soulmate in our lifetimes, then remarrying after being widowed would be useless, and since the Bible does refer to this, I would have to say that sort of nulls the whole romantic notion of a "single" soulmate.

I don't believe remarrying would be useless since the Bible addresses this. To make sense of what I'm saying, I would "think" there are ppl waiting for their spouses bc their spouses are now married to someone else who will die and leave the person widowed. I feel like all of it would have been part of God's plan... but the individuals would have still been predetermined by God as the ones He selected for them. Otherwise, it would suggest to me that a person who will die young(er) should not marry and leave his/her spouse widowed... I think remarrying is good, but God has predetermined the person one should remarry... just a thought.

 

[sheborn2x]

A few reasons. I don't normally open up on line, but maybe this will help someone else.
I could write a book on this but will give a rough outline of a few reasons.

A. Most are unbelievers. That narrows down the choices to a small%.
B. Government does a poor job raising children. For many generations, people worldwide have been placed into a Prussian model of education. I don't want to go into details now, but at the risk of hurting someone's feelings.....most parents turn their children over to strangers to raise. Parents argue, "I've put food on the plate, paid the bills and gotten little Bulla and Buford the best things and take them to sports!"
True. But while the dad's AND mom's are out working for that, who is influencing the children?
Answer: UNbelievers who have different values than Dad and Mom, who take the role of authority above and beyond the parents in the eyes of the kids.
Kids grow up to become adults and instantly believe and act like Christians.....right?

I was friends with the neighbors growing up.
They were christians of like faith. Two good parents and a homeschooled boy and girl.
We liked and listened to the same preachers, parents discussed Bible doctrines / various passages with me often. They saw me start a business from an early age and work hard every week. We all liked each other's company and when their daughter graduated with a 4.0 and high quality, virtuous, mature. We got along well, but I kept what healthy boundaries. However, they kept hinting at getting aquatinted with their daughter and taking her out. I was raised in the Prussian system of Age Segregation, so anyone more than a couple years difference is off limits.
I had no idea how much difference public school children and teachers influenced christian kids at the time. Those who were good christian home school parents influence their own children, help expose them to good friends of similar values.
When adulthood eventually comes to fruition, the transition is no big deal for that responsible christian teenager/ young adult.
Most others drop out of church, don't want to walk with the Lord. Many have serious alcohol, promiscuity, and drug problems that carry into marriage. That's just what they were around.

D. Career women vs. traditional families.
I won't even go here. I have friends who's wives are great career moms, but their children get raised by others. Either raise the kids at home or follow that career. Something has to be compromised either way..... Extra money OR influence of children.

That's all for now.

That's what I'm wondering... is it simply bc man messes things up? Do we believe we're in God's will when in fact we're not. E.g., someone who relocates a lot... is it possible that the person is not in the right place at the right time... but maybe thought God told him to move even though God didn't... just a thought.

 

[sheborn2x]

And just to add on D.... I used to work at pre schools and it was pretty disheartening seeing babies as young as 6 months spend up to 10 hours at the centres while their mothers worked. I know its personal choice and all that jazz but .....

Yep - sounds pretty crazy, but I can see it... dropping baby off at 7am while heading to work and not picking baby up until heading home... so technically could be a half day. Pretty sad..

Life is definitely about choices. I question some of mine. I relocated right before pandemic and have spent last 2 years working 60+ hours a week from home... now imagine if I were trying to meet someone under these circumstances that I "may" have placed myself in (although I believe my steps were ordered by God)... but, I do think we get it wrong sometimes even if trying to be in God's will.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

That's what I'm wondering... is it simply bc man messes things up? Do we believe we're in God's will when in fact we're not. E.g., someone who relocates a lot... is it possible that the person is not in the right place at the right time... but maybe thought God told him to move even though God didn't... just a thought.

I was taught that we would somehow be specially led by God to a special person made exactly for each person. I heard that for years until that pastor and his wife divorced.
The only place I can point to that happened is the one of Isaac and young Rebecca.

I think that we must start with the assurance that we have that special gift of everlasting life and know it 100%.

The Bibles very clear on that requirement.
Then you grow consistently and daily in the word and a good church.. That's extremely important.

When there are a number of single men and women that have been growing spiritually like that, and avoiding sin patterns that doom marriages, then there will likely be marriage quality men to choose from and vice versa. I can't speak for many countries, but America was a christianized union of states that sent out more missionary evangelists and started more churches than any other. It still has what is called the Bible belt that stretches from my state down through the south. That said, if this is considered the Christian hub of the planet, we are in trouble. There are very good families and churches, but those are in the small minority.
That makes the godly men and women of much value far beyond the Bill Gates or Elon Musk fortunes. We have someone who has provided that value. He is the Lord.

This old preacher will cover the first point in 4 minutes.

 

[MsMediator]

Life is definitely about choices. I question some of mine. I relocated right before pandemic and have spent last 2 years working 60+ hours a week from home... now imagine if I were trying to meet someone under these circumstances that I "may" have placed myself in (although I believe my steps were ordered by God)... but, I do think we get it wrong sometimes even if trying to be in God's will.

I am in a similar situation myself; my employer allowed us to work from home due to the pandemic and I moved in with my parents several states away. There is no way to date or even have a real social life while living with parents. I'm in my 30s now so it is different than being in my 20s. Anyway, I believe this was all pre-planned by God as the last time I spent this type of quality time with my parents was when I was 18. The big news I am waiting for is whether my employer will allow me to work from home permanently, and my life will be altered drastically by this news (stay closer to home or move away). But, I believe this will be God's decision, not just my employer's decision.

 

[sheborn2x]

By marrying someone who's unsaved... or, by not following his/her call to be a missionary, e.g., leaving the missionary in the field who'd been praying for a spouse with no choice then but to be single. If God operates like this, then it seems you have an answer to your question.

However, I do not believe He does, so I am left with the question mark still.

We think alike... I actually anticipated this response. And re your earlier reply, I use to say... well if someone gets it wrong, then God knew that person would get it wrong and would have another person. But, I just don't think the omniscient God needs a plan B. He would have predetermined the right person (the one who would get it right)...

But, I question whether being in God's will simply means following His Word as written in the Old & New Testaments (Testament = Will). Re this topic, is it enough to marry someone who is equally yoked? Re life in general, is it enough to keep His commandments and live by His Word? I don't think so bc Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." So, if God knows the plans that He has for us, how could something as important as who we spend the rest of our lives with not be a part of His plan. Why would that be left up to us? Of course, He allows us to make the choice. But, shouldn't there be someone who He has already predetermined...

And apparently this is a general but not a universal rule.

How so? Not sure if I'm getting what you're saying... how is it general? It's God's word vs what everyone else says. I go with what God says. But, maybe I'm not understanding what you're saying... expound pls.

Faith is hard. Yes, I know I have a wonderful grasp of the obvious.

Here's the thing -- It is easy for me to have faith when I know God said/promised it (even if seems impossible). But, when I don't know (whether the written Word or the still small voice), then it's hard simply bc I'm unsure not bc I doubt that He is able.

And, I looked at some other replies (although haven't had a chance to read them in their entirety and probably won't tonight since I am a very busy woman lol). Thank you for understanding that I have a question about something on which I am unclear and I would like to have a discussion based on our different interpretations of the Word and/or our understanding and knowledge of God from what we've learned through His Word. I'm glad you get it.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

That's what I'm wondering... is it simply bc man messes things up? Do we believe we're in God's will when in fact we're not. E.g., someone who relocates a lot... is it possible that the person is not in the right place at the right time... but maybe thought God told him to move even though God didn't... just a thought.

One last thought....
The Father answers all of Jesus' prayers.
John 17:17 "Sanctify them through Thy truth. Thy Word is truth."
When we complete the first decision, video.
Then God sets us apart from that which weighs us down and makes us a new person in Him. We still have a sin nature that can get us out of His will, but we have the option of being made into His image through regularly looking into His Word. Regardless of anything else, that can and does make one beautiful, fit for a good marriage.

 

[sheborn2x]

You seem determined... Like, VERY, set-in-concrete determined to believe in soulmates.

It is what I believe... until demonstrated by evidence/argument to be otherwise.

Three questions:

1 - If you didn't want to know what other people thought about it, why did you ask? You keep rejecting all dissenting opinions out of hand,

Let me see if I'm understanding you correctly. You expect an opinionated individual who has an opinion about something to agree and accept what someone else says SIMPLY bc the other person says it?? Is that what you're saying? Even though I disagree, you want me to state that I agree rather than saying that I disagree (and actually going into detail about why I disagree) and hope (unrealistically I see) that the other person will make a counterargument supported by the Word???

as though you already know all the answers and everybody who disagrees is a complete idiot. Why did you bother starting this thread? Just to argue?

Very unfortunate that this is what you think. You call it arguing. I call it a discussion or debate.

2 - Have you found your soulmate yet? Is it all peaches and cream and rainbows and unicorns?

Irrelevant to this discussion

3 - What about the issues seoulsearch raised, with Hosea, Ezekiel and the like? If what God said to Adam applies to everyone, how do you rationalize them?

I saw 2 lengthy posts from that user that I haven't had a chance to read. But, as I'm assuming they are detailed and supported by Scripture, I look fwd to reading and replying. God bless you.

 

[sheborn2x]

Mind you, I would ask that first question even if you were set-in-concrete AGAINST the idea of soulmates. You started this, but you are not willing to entertain any opinion that goes against your own. Why bother starting it?

Posting a reply with an explanation about why I disagree does not qualify as entertaining... Does entertain mean to agree and accept? God bless you.

 

[sheborn2x]

I believe that flat reading of scriptures will create paradoxes and that flat reading produces flat answers.

None of which should apply to scriptures.

And that is

Thank you for your contribution to the discussion.

 

[sheborn2x]

This whole discussion has me thinking about my time on CC and the many (MANY) threads that have been created regarding soulmates.

Now it's possible I could have missed it, but I was just thinking about how astonishing it seems that we've literally seen dozens of threads asking or pondering whether or not God creates/destines soulmates, but in the 13 years I've been trying to keep up with the threads here, I can't think of even one instance in which someone created a thread proclaiming, "I Found My SoulMate From the Lord!!!"

I'm not saying it isn't possible and I'm not saying that someone hasn't experienced this. But we've had a lot of married friends here over the years, and I used to also read the Family Forum regularly (where more married would hang out,) so I'm just wondering what would cause such a HUGE imbalance?

Why do we have dozens of single people asking about soulmates, but not one married person in all that time saying, "Soulmates DO exist!!! God DOES create one for you and will lead you to them!"

Again, I'm not saying it can't happen and or that it hasn't been discussed somewhere, because I'm sure it has (if not here, then a hundred other thousand places on the internet.)

But I am genuinely curious as to why so many Christian singles think and wonder about this, but we have not had even one married person (though I could have easily missed it,) come in and tell us with absolute certain that soulmates are an unquestionable phenomenon from the Lord. I can't help but wonder that if they really were a thing, surely more Christian people who had experienced it would tell us? Again, I could be wrong, but doesn't anyone else wonder about this too?

Our married friends might say that they have found their best friend and an absolute gift from God, but I can't recall any married people here calling their spouse their soulmate.

Why is that?

Interesting... I've heard/I hear many married ppl say they've found their soulmate. There's a sermon by a pastor on YT about keys to identifying your soulmate. I've always heard ppl say this... married ppl that is.

 

[sheborn2x]

The most interesting thing about verse 24 is that in many cultures throughout history (including OT Jewish culture) it's the woman who leaves her family and becomes part of her husband's family.

Interesting indeed but irrelevant

Other interesting features of this passage: in Hebrew the words woman and wife are the same word in this passage. The word helper in every other use in the OT is used in a context of the greater helping the weaker either militarily or else the one needing help is in a life threatening situation. Also the words Adam and man are the same in Hebrew. But I still stand by what I said, this passage could be saying that it's not good for men to exist without women and for many men that may include a special woman who becomes their wife, but it doesn't indicate a promise to every man that he will get a wife.

It seems that the suitable helper (the helper that God promised in the earlier verse) is the wife/woman. So, this promise is not to every believer?

Or you could do the barest bit of research to see if I know what I'm talking about. This is a good first page result from googling where does the idea of soulmates come from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...uples/201207/the-fallacy-the-soul-mate-part-i

Lol I'm expected to do research to support a statement that YOU made. Maybe you could support your arguments and not just make statements such as "soulmates is a pagan concept."

Out of context scripture, not applicable to this discussion as I'm pretty sure this was said in response to a discussion about how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Nothing to do with finding a spouse. You will learn not to quote scripture out of context with me because I will know it and I will call you out on it.

So, are you saying you do NOT believe that ALL things are possible with God? Very unfortunate if so...

 

[sheborn2x]

That's for sure!

sheborn I should probably tell you that you picked a VERY bad target for that particular dismissive comment. If cinder states something as fact, she has personally looked stuff up and is certain it IS in fact a fact.

Although... I have to disagree with you cinder. Some people NEVER learn. They've been on this forum for years and they still try to pull the same old junk. I will grant it's a bad idea for her to use scripture out of context when talking to you, but her learning from the mistake is not a given.

So, are you saying that it is NOT a fact that ALL things are possible with God? Very unfortunate if so...

I believe you're the poster who said I was arguing, right? Here's the thing... I have no social media bc I'm very mindful about how I spend my time. I started this thread bc I have a question and hope to get better understanding. I will NOT say I agree with something with which I in fact disagree. Sorry that you are having difficulty understanding this. You seem to have more time on your hands than I do, and I'm sure you can (and maybe want to) go on & on and start an argument, but posts that do not address the topic will be ignored. God bless you.

 

[sheborn2x]

the word "man" in Hebrew is the same word as the name Adam.
in Genesis 1-3 "the man" particular identifies Adam rather than just man in general.

so is God saying it isn't good for Adam to be alone?
or man in general?

This is the type of discussion I was hoping for... thank you. Here are my thoughts when I read this... did Adam have parents? If not, then when God said that's why a man leaves his father and mother..., how could man be Adam if Adam had no father and mother to leave?

and is anyone truly "alone" just because they don't have a wife?

I don't think we're alone bc the Holy Spirit is always with/within us. But, yes... ppl go through seasons (sometimes rather long) of isolation. And, I wouldn't consider random ppl to be the suitable helper who is the wife/woman with whom man becomes one flesh.

Look forward to your reply.

 

[seoulsearch]

Interesting... I've heard/I hear many married ppl say they've found their soulmate. There's a sermon by a pastor on YT about keys to identifying your soulmate. I've always heard ppl say this... married ppl that is.

Just out of curiosity, do you know any married people who said they found their soulmate, then wound up divorced? I'm just wondering what the reasoning would be in that case. Would they then say the person they married wasn't their soulmate, and that they could now be free to find the "right" one?

This might have been brought up in another post, but what happens if someone's spouse dies, especially if they're young? I'm thinking of a co-worker who killed in Afghanistan at age 25, and he'd only been married to his wife for about 18 months. Does the existence of soulmates then mean that person is destined to be alone for the rest of their life?

I'm wondering if many some churches teach soulmate as a concept, and how they reconcile situations like this.

One thing is for sure, even if God does create and bring you to a soulmate, it certainly doesn't mean smooth sailing (such as the things Isaac and Rebekah put each other through, mentioned in a previous post.)

And with all the trouble Adam and Eve got themselves into -- and then the entire world -- I have to wonder if there weren't days when Adam thought, "Lord, why couldn't you have used a different rib!!" hoping that things might have turned out differently.

 

[sheborn2x]

Out of context scripture, not applicable to this discussion as I'm pretty sure this was said in response to a discussion about how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Nothing to do with finding a spouse. You will learn not to quote scripture out of context with me because I will know it and I will call you out on it.

Regarding your last statement that I will learn not to quote out of context with you -- you should make sure you understand what the words in the Scripture mean and that you fully comprehend what you are reading before making such statements.

Matthew 19:26 "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Look at the two words in red. This (assumedly the camel going through the eye of the needle) is impossible. But, ALL (not just this but ALL) things are possible. So, if ALL things are possible and not just this, how exactly is my previous statement out of context??

I believe I also quoted Luke 1
"36 And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.
37 For with God nothing shall be impossible."
Nothing (no single thing) is impossible with God.

God bless you.