Browsing through the many topics in this forum , one soon realises that there are very few threads that are specifically for Single people . The threads could quite happily reside in the many other topic areas
So why do we have this place ? What is the benefit of a singles forum topic if the threads are possibly more suitable to other forum areas
Just an observation , not stating anything needs changing
Hi Robertt,
I think the Singles Forum has changed over time.
I started here in 2009, and I mention that only as a reference point to the changes that seem to have happened over time. Back then, the Singles crowd seemed to mostly be people in their 20's and 30's who were, of course, actively looking for a spouse and to start (or add to, if they were divorced or widowed) families.
It also used to be that the majority of people who posted in Singles were also single, so many of conversations were how to date and find a Godly spouse. These days, the Singles Forum has become more of a generic place to hang out and chat. Back in the day, the site used to be much busier, with a variety of respective conversations going on in each category.
As new competition has sprung up continuously over the years (with so many other sites and apps to choose from,) this site has slowed down considerably and so people are generally just looking for the latest and/or more headline-grabbing topic, no matter what forum it might be in. Apparently, the system also alerts people to to the newest threads and posts, and many will click on whatever sounds interesting without knowing it's in Singles, so we now have several regular married friends here who post right along with us.
The core crowd here is now older (I'm guessing primarily mid-30's - 50 and up,) so I think some of the focus has also changed and shifted away from just finding a partner or things exclusive to single life.
I tend to post all my topics here in Singles and these days, regardless of where they might officially "fit" just because this is the part of the forum I'm most used to. And because we have so many married regulars here, it's really just become kind of a default place to go.
I do feel as if Singles has become a bit of a divide though. Back when I first started, there was a common feeling of, "Time is running out! I just HAVE to find someone as soon as possible!" which I think most singles can sympathize with, since we were all young adults once. I felt that way myself when I first came here, too.
But I think we have a good number of singles here now who are not primarily focused on finding a spouse, but rather on living out God's will in their life the best they can, even if they remain single. This is now true of myself as well. When I first came to singles, I felt like I had very limited time to find someone or it would be "too late", but meeting others here who are content with their single lives has really helped me adjust and calm a bit of my anxiety.
I'm not saying this is for everyone of course, as God calls us all to different things. In fact, I think there's almost a Catch 22 here in Singles now, with one group not really caring or wanting to talk about relationship issues, and another that does, with clashes rising up between the two over which one is better. But there's nothing wrong with either group, and we all have to act according to God's will for our lives. Hopefully, we can all find a way to support one another, even if our walks are very different.
I think the other reason that the topics here in Singles may seem more "generic" is because being single isn't a life category that can be stuffed into one specific compartment. All singles have family issues, but we might talk about it here instead of the Family Forum because we're talking about how we deal with our family problems as singles without partners.
Single people still want to talk about topics that interest them (and we all know that not having someone to talk to is one of the hardest parts about being single,) so many of us will bring up whatever is on our minds here in Singles (rather than Family or Miscellaneous) because we are sharing things from our single point of view.
We also often have interesting side comment in the threads that would make very engaging topics of their own. I often wish people would feel brave enough to start their own threads about their own interests, because it would really enrich the forum.
No matter what parts of the forum you choose to spend your time in, I hope you'll find this place to be a blessing!
Whenever you have topics about single life you'd like to discuss, please feel free to post/start threads about them.
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