Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

[presidente]

If we have to worry about every decision we make...ie overeating, smoking, cussing, remarrying after divorce, gossiping or whatever, then is following Christ really freeing? I'm not saying go out and act a fool, but for Pete's sake, are we free from the bondages of sin or not? Many in this site worry more now than before they became a believer, and I am pretty sure Christ was saying that's silly when He said something about the birds not worrying when they fly, so why do we worry?
Keep your heart focused on Christ, and the rest will work for good.(just like it says in the Bible)

That's not the message I see in Christ's teachings or the teachings of the apostles. Peter said not to use your liberty as a cloke for maliciousness (I Peter 2:16) Paul wrote to examine yourself to see if you are in the faith. In Romans 2 he says that God will render to every man according to his deeds. He describes those who are rendered eternal life as those who by 'patient continuance in well-doing' (Romans 2:17.) The Bible says to flee idolatry, to flee fornication, and to let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth. Paul compares the Christian life to running a race. That's not easy. Jesus teachings are full of moral instruction, not 'Kick back, enjoy life, and have a Budweiser.'

 

[presidente]

1. Ask that person if he or she is a genuine Christian.
2. Ask that person whether he or she was unfaithful and caused the divorce.
3. If the answer is "Yes" then simply move on. Keep it simple.

As someone else pointed out, people can lie. It could also be one of those cases where she separates or divorces him, then holds out till he remarries or sleeps with someone.... he committed adultery first.... that kind of thing.

If the answer is 'No', you can still move on. Jesus said, "he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery.' Does He make an exception anywhere in scripture? The phrase before in Matthew 19 is about a man who puts away his wife, and the meaning of the 'exception clause' is debated.

I don't see a problem with marrying a divorced person whose divorced spouse(s) is(are) dead, but if someone caused a divorce and then the other person dies, they still might be risky.

Statistically, marriages to those who have been divorced are much less likely to last until death than first marriages, also. There is some old research (Teachman, 1990) that showed that women who had slept with someone besides their husband before marriage were much more likely to experience 'marital disruption' also. A lower flight risk woman would be a never-married virgin. I don't know about any research on widows. I would imagine a widow who had remained faithful 'till death do us part' has likely earned her stripes, and would generally expect the same with a widower--- assuming there was no responsibility there for foul play.

Beyond whether one is allowed to marry another person, there is also the question of whether this would be a good mother/father of one's future children. If someone is older and has children, the marrying someone who does not want to be around children and grandchildren, that can make life difficult.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

That's not the message I see in Christ's teachings or the teachings of the apostles. Peter said not to use your liberty as a cloke for maliciousness (I Peter 2:16) Paul wrote to examine yourself to see if you are in the faith. In Romans 2 he says that God will render to every man according to his deeds. He describes those who are rendered eternal life as those who by 'patient continuance in well-doing' (Romans 2:17.) The Bible says to flee idolatry, to flee fornication, and to let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth. Paul compares the Christian life to running a race. That's not easy. Jesus teachings are full of moral instruction, not 'Kick back, enjoy life, and have a Budweiser.'

Reading comprehension isn't your strong point is it? Or maybe you just didn't read everything I said. You missed where I said, "Don't act a fool" or "focus on Christ and things will work for good". No one is saying to go out and be a cloke for maliciousness. Sheesh. you crack me up. Have a good day.

 

[CS1]

The qestion is a very good one.

Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

The answer, Biblical, no.

 

[JohnDB]

So, would you marry a divorced person?

Does God forgive sin?
Should I try to be different than God?

 

[presidente]

Reading comprehension isn't your strong point is it? Or maybe you just didn't read everything I said. You missed where I said, "Don't act a fool" or "focus on Christ and things will work for good". No one is saying to go out and be a cloke for maliciousness. Sheesh. you crack me up. Have a good day.

You also seemed to think Christians should not 'worry about' gossiping. Don't you think that it is immoral to gossip?

 

[presidente]

Does God forgive sin?
Should I try to be different than God?

Another question is if God forgives sin, does that mean we should go out and commit one.

I think most of us agree that it is a sin to marry certain categories of divorced people, which is why we are having the conversation.

You can 'forgive' someone without marrying them. If they did not sin against you, you may not have to be the one doing the forgiving.

 

[Naamini]

Does God forgive sin?
Should I try to be different than God?

Interesting thought 🤔
Yes God will forgive sin from hearty repentance. And will cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So many things can come out of this topic here.. like willful sin.

If am thinking about a divorced person getting repentance, sanctification so he can remarry? I didn't know for sure. It's an interesting twist to ponder.

 

[JohnDB]

The wives put away with a divorce certificate were 'put away' wives also. in fact, in Matthew 19, the topic the Pharisees were asking Jesus about was about when one could 'legally' put away a wife--- with a certificate.


7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and [quoto put her away?

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


Look at the topic they brought up,
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

You can find articles on the Pharisaical debate on the 'any cause' divorce. In the generation before Christ and around the time of his birth, the 'nasi' or prince of the Sanhedrin, the most prominent scholar was Hillel. The second most influential leader was Shammai. Their students disagree with each other. The Jerusalem Talmud even says some of the Shammai school killed off some of the Hillel school. I hear this was at a Bible study.

But they also debated about a number of things. Hillel was more friendly toward Gentile conversion to Judaism and made it easy. Modern Orthodox Judaism evolved out of Hillel Phariseeism. The Shammai folks were in power for much of the New Testament. The idea that going into a Gentile's house was unlawful might have been a House of Shammai decision.

When it came to divorce, Shammai interpreted Deuteronomy 24 to allow for a divorce certificate if some form of uncleanness were found in a woman-- adultery or maybe something a bit less extreme than that, but still serious. Hillel allowed for divorce 'for any cause.' if a woman burnt the bread, he thought a man could give her a divorce certificate.

So when we read about 'divorce for every cause' or for any cause in the passage, we should think of the debates referred to in their own literatura, written down later of course as a record of their 'oral law' in the Mishneh or Talmud.

Here is a quote about three falsely so-called 'rabbis'-- one of them who supported a false Messiah after Christ. The first two speaking before Matthew 19 was written. This is a quote from a Jewish site: https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2285/jewish/When-to-Get-Divorced.htm



At the time Matthew 19 happened, the first two opinions were being debated.

I am not sure if this is where you are going, but I have seen a whole website and a number of posts on Internet forums defending the idea that a Christian man can divorce his wife for any reason if he gives her a divorce certificate. That is completely contrary to Christ's teaching in Matthew 19. If all he were saying was, "You had better give her a piece of paper that says you are divorced", that was already proper doctrine the Pharisees would have agreed on, and the apostles would not have responded, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better for a man not to marry." Giving a woman divorce certificate was already accepted practice.

Those who did not do so were not following the Pharisees prescriptions. They were trying to get around the law.

This trend toward interpretation Matthew 19 relies on ignorance of the historical setting and also seems to be an attempt to lower the bar of Biblical morality to conform with the rampant disobedience to the teaching of Christ and Paul on the matter that we see in so many churches today.

Ok...
No lowered bar of reasons for divorce.

Besides you are deliberately ignoring the anthropology of the day...and there are many citations and biblical evidence of this practice.

Jesus did not speak clearly during most of his lessons to the Pharisees... especially in Matthew. Remember which chapter he changed his stance and went to solid metaphors and parables?

And adulterous women were routinely stoned.

Women were considered one half step above property by the WHOLE world. Jesus treated them more equal to men than anyone else had done so previously. They were "property not people" by most cultures standards. Quit putting Westernized Modernized ideals into the Ancient Near East anthropology. It's not going to help you.

Look at the Micah passage....yes they were supposed to give a certificate of divorce...but most Ketubahs had a clause that called for the return of the dowry to the woman. So guys would claim "poverty" and just put away the wives...but then find a new one. And since the old wife would be desperate and move away...well the husband didn't have to divorce her completely now did he?


People are evil when they have power and control over another group. Look at prejudice...one group is always disparaged and controlled by the disparagers. And with women being considered property and not people...it happened exactly how I've explained it.

And the bar for divorce never changed...
Number one reason is abuse...always has been because the real measure is to behave in such a manner as to reject ALL characteristics of being a believer in God. Abuse is covered. So is adultery but then dead women don't need to be divorced now do they?

 

[JohnDB]

Another question is if God forgives sin, does that mean we should go out and commit one.

I think most of us agree that it is a sin to marry certain categories of divorced people, which is why we are having the conversation.

You can 'forgive' someone without marrying them. If they did not sin against you, you may not have to be the one doing the forgiving.

Nope...
Is it Prudent to marry a divorced person? Nope.

But it isn't a sin to marry a divorced person.

When God forgives sin He doesn't use a special check box for when He deliberately forgets your past transgressions. They are as far removed as the east is from the west. (Meaning never associated with you again)

 

[JohnDB]

Interesting thought 🤔
Yes God will forgive sin from hearty repentance. And will cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So many things can come out of this topic here.. like willful sin.

If am thinking about a divorced person getting repentance, sanctification so he can remarry? I didn't know for sure. It's an interesting twist to ponder.

I like to know what I believe and why... seamlessly...

 

[Naamini]

I like to know what I believe and why... seamlessly...

True. yes there is no check boxes of forgiveness of sin.

And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:11|NKJV

 

[presidente]

Nope...
Is it Prudent to marry a divorced person? Nope.

But it isn't a sin to marry a divorced person.

Why would Jesus teach that it is adultery, then? Do you think adultery is not a sin?

A woman put away with a certificate of divorce is a put away woman. She certainly is in Matthew 19. And there are people divorced whose divorce is not justified under any of the stock interpretations out there for divorce and remarriage.

Consider the (immature) Christian woman who unilaterally divorces her Christian husband because she doesn't feel the butterflies anymore. He does not give her a certificate of divorce. There is nothing in her divorce certificate that even aligns with the Pharisaical interpretations of the Old Testament. Paul says if a wife departs from her husband she is to 'remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.'

When God forgives sin He doesn't use a special check box for when He deliberately forgets your past transgressions. They are as far removed as the east is from the west. (Meaning never associated with you again)

That doesn't mean we are supposed to go out and commit adultery because God forgives sin. God is not mocked.

 

[presidente]

Interesting thought 🤔
Yes God will forgive sin from hearty repentance. And will cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So many things can come out of this topic here.. like willful sin.

If am thinking about a divorced person getting repentance, sanctification so he can remarry? I didn't know for sure. It's an interesting twist to ponder.

It is important that we walk circumspectly and keep a clean conscience before God.

It is also important for those who are married to stay together and work on their marriage, learn to love and forgive. If you divorce or separate, you can't really depend on the other person to know the difference between secular divorce laws and Biblical teachings on the matter.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

You also seemed to think Christians should not 'worry about' gossiping. Don't you think that it is immoral to gossip?

Again I didn't say that. I said to focus on Christ and let the rest work out for good.I didn't say focus on CHrist and then go out and act like an idiot trying to hurt people. Wow dude get over yourself already lol have a good day, I am done explaining myself to you.

 

[presidente]

Would repentance require leaving an adulterous marriage that is not in line with scripture?

Marriage to Canaanites was forbidden to Israelites. Ezra compelled the people, including priests, to send their wives and children away. Apparently, this is what Ezra considered to be part of their repentance.

I do not see in the Pentateuch where it said not to marry Egyptians who are also in the list. It shows up later. And if the ones married to Egyptians were priests, that was forbidden.

When it comes to believers married to unbelievers, Paul's advise is to stay with a willing partner, and that the unbelieving spouse and is sanctified by the believing spouse (husband or wife, not gay spouse of course) else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.

 

[presidente]

Again I didn't say that. I said to focus on Christ and let the rest work out for good.I didn't say focus on CHrist and then go out and act like an idiot trying to hurt people. Wow dude get over yourself already lol have a good day, I am done explaining myself to you.

The way you worded it, it came off as your not thinking it important that we be concerned with avoiding gossip among other things. I believe it is important that we be careful about such things. Wouldn't you agree. There is no need to get an attitude toward me if I disagree with you.

 

[JohnDB]

A woman put away with a certificate of divorce is a put away woman

Nope...
Completely wrong...she is then divorced.

TWO actions are needed for a divorce not just one.
Both the certificate and putting away.

A Put Away wife is not a divorced wife. She is without house, food, family or a means to support herself. It was supposed to be a means of punishing an unfaithful wife. But it was used for less than honorable reasons.

Again you are not using the lifestyles of a Caste Based Society for what Jesus said. Jesus is God. God doesn't change but people certainly do.

 

[presidente]

Ok...
No lowered bar of reasons for divorce.

Besides you are deliberately ignoring the anthropology of the day...and there are many citations and biblical evidence of this practice.

Jesus did not speak clearly during most of his lessons to the Pharisees... especially in Matthew. Remember which chapter he changed his stance and went to solid metaphors and parables?

And adulterous women were routinely stoned.

Women were considered one half step above property by the WHOLE world. Jesus treated them more equal to men than anyone else had done so previously. They were "property not people" by most cultures standards. Quit putting Westernized Modernized ideals into the Ancient Near East anthropology. It's not going to help you.

Look at the Micah passage....yes they were supposed to give a certificate of divorce...but most Ketubahs had a clause that called for the return of the dowry to the woman. So guys would claim "poverty" and just put away the wives...but then find a new one. And since the old wife would be desperate and move away...well the husband didn't have to divorce her completely now did he?


People are evil when they have power and control over another group. Look at prejudice...one group is always disparaged and controlled by the disparagers. And with women being considered property and not people...it happened exactly how I've explained it.

And the bar for divorce never changed...
Number one reason is abuse...always has been because the real measure is to behave in such a manner as to reject ALL characteristics of being a believer in God. Abuse is covered. So is adultery but then dead women don't need to be divorced now do they?

The issue is not whether there was an 'agunah problem', the problem of abandoned wives. The issue is whether this had anything to do with the passage in question. it is not to what degree the Old Testament or pagan culture considered women to be property of their husbands. The law of God is holy, just, and good. We cannot say that about the pagans.

The point is, Matthew 19 is NOT about the agunah problem. You aren't explicit, but I think you are one of these proponents of this very recent, as far as I can tell, school of thought that Matthew 19 is about Jesus just saying you need to give a woman a paper if you want to get a divorce, then you can divorce and remarry at will. Correct me if I am wrong.

It is extremely obvious from the actual words in the passage that this is not the case. Making this about the agunah problem-- the problem of the abandoned wife who is not legally divorced-- is just wrong. There were more issues than that.

The issue that is actually specifically addressed that shows up in the writings of Judaism that record the debates of the era is the 'any cause' divorce issue. It's the question they actually ask Him about Matthew 19:3. It's what he actually addresses. It is also quite clear from Deuteronomy 24 that a woman who is put away with a certificate is put away. This shows up in the way they ask their question about it:

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

It is clear from this and from the wording of the passage they refer to that if a man gives his wife and puts her away, that he puts her away. Do you disagree with the idea that if a man puts away his wife, that he puts away his wife?

Look at Christ's words
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Notice how he uses 'put away' in verse 8. It is in regard to what Moses allowed. The context, given the question and the passage they are discussing certainly includes those put away with a certificate. Saying it does not include that is pure sophistry-- not really because sophistry involves clever arguments, and arguments that he is not talking about or including 'putting away' with a certificate
are actually absurd.

In verse 9, 'Whosoever shall put away his wife' clearly includes those who 'put away' their wives with a certificate... since that is what the discussion is about... since he references what Moses allowed in the verse prior... and since logically a woman put away with a certificate is put away. There is no way around it.

And we are talking about the Pharisees here, the legal purists. Jewish authorities could try to compel a man to give an abandoned wife a divorce certificate. I have read about that in Judaism (don't have the source off the top of my head.) But it was hard to do so. Legally, they weren't divorced if he did not give her the paper. But the Pharisees did not say it was okay to leave a wife high and dry like that. They taught that wives were entitled to food, clothing, and sex in accordance with the Old Testament. They prescribed how much a woman could demand from a man based on his occupation, nightly for a lot of occupations (taking niddah and other restrictions into account) up to every so many weeks for fishermen. They weren't going to ask Jesus if it was okay to abandon a wife forever without a certificate since they would have agreed that it was not. People who did so did not follow the Pharisees interpretations, which were not all bad on that point.

 

[CS1]

The qestion is a very good one.

Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

The answer, Biblical, no.

Another good qestion IMHO is, can God bless those who remarry after divorce?

Yes, HE can and does.
Does God forgive this sin? YES, he does. however, there are consequences from this sin as there are with all sin.

And conditions too.

God hates divorce. Yet it happens and God forgives it.
2. God doesn't make exceptions because one is abused, yet HE is not saying to be the whipping post for your abusive husband Either. Separation is Biblical and in cases, Divorce is the only remedy where the actions of the person(s) leave no chance of reconciliation.
There are things that happen because of divorce and sin in one's life.

David's Kingdom was never the same after the adulterous and murder relationship he had. The child died. His children did evil in the sight of God.

Pastors who divorce and remarry their ministries suffer AND I will say never the same. They suffer loss. Regardless of what people think or say, sin will cause you to be less effective for God. Hello?
The reasoning of the human mind is not God's way.


"I'm required to stay with a person who I don't love or makes me happy?"
No, you should have known that before you said I do because God believed you meant it.

Your happiness is irrelevant to obeying God.

God said don't be yoked with an unbeliever, Stay away from the pagan women.

Samson liked those Hoe's in Philistine. God said don't go into them, man did not listen.


Most who get married today don't even know the person they are marrying.

We are taken off by attraction but not Love.

We like what we see or how they make me feel, discerning from the flesh.

"CS1 you saying make an ugly woman your wife and be happy the rest of my life? "
Did you marry an ugly woman or man? Most men want Rachel, and would not choose, Leah BUT they will not kick her out of the bed either.


The Church needs to support marriage and help those who are on the verge of divorce.

Not judge is it wrong to burn down your house after it is on fire and we stand by and watch it burn. That too is a sin.


Those who are not saved before Christ that was divorced can't be held to that sin other than the consequences they have already suffered., and have remarried. It's done deal they are married.