How High Should One's Sexual Wanting Be as a Motivator to Get Married?

[cinder]

I would rather commit sexual sin out of marriage than to rush into a marriage that ultimately leads to divorce. Jesus did not condemn sexual temptation to nearly the extent he condemned divorce.

While I'd agree that if I have to make one of those mistakes I'd rather make the one that doesn't have a whole lot of legal baggage involved and is easier to extricate yourself from. I'm wondering what passages you're basing the idea that Jesus was less condemning of sexual sin (temptation in and of itself is not sin, even Jesus was tempted) than he was of divorce. Pretty much every passage I can think of; Jesus compares divorce to adultery so it seems pretty odd to say that he condemned divorce worse than adultery or fornication. I'd suggest it may have needed more talking about to a Jewish audience because they were taught that it was perfectly okay for a man to divorce his wife (sometimes for trivial reasons) but they all knew that sexual sin was in fact sin. I think the point he was trying to make was that abandoning your spouse so you can be with someone else is just as evil as cheating on your spouse while you're still together.

 

[Lanolin]

if someone is really thinking this then they would probably spike the other persons drink with viagara...or just use copious amounts of alcohol, to induce high levels of.... motivation in their marriage. Oh but can you marry while under the influence. Well dont couples drink champagne to get in the mood?

 

[Roughsoul1991]

If you are watching porn then there’s a strong chance you are living vicariously through the “actor”. People who are satisfied, enjoy there own experiences more than needing a surrogate to live through. Honestly I hope that number is accurate. Either there are lots of couples being fulfilled or the lack of interest in sex is escalating. Praise the Lord!

If you are watching porn then there’s a strong chance you are living vicariously through the “actor”.

Not always. We have a man in our community group who has often spoke to me as an accountability partner. He loves his wife and has been through the rounds with fighting the addiction to pornography. Even taking a weekend course. His wife helped him to fight it. It took both of them to see so much progress. As far as I know, he has it under control. His marriage is one most couples would love to have.

People who are satisfied, enjoy there own experiences more than needing a surrogate to live through.

You misunderstand the problem of pornography as how addicting it is. It literally could be used as a teenager, full blown addiction by the time they marry and they do not know how to stop. The brain has been damaged at that point. Not damaged beyond repair but repair takes lots of time.

Honestly I hope that number is accurate. Either there are lots of couples being fulfilled

If you follow God's design either by choice or ignorance it will be successful.

or the lack of interest in sex is escalating

This could be good or bad. Teenagers are statistically having less sex. That is good for immoral reasons.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/

But less sex within the family unit could be very bad. Intimacy takes a hit if not shown in other affectionate ways. Reproduction takes a hit and that hurts society who needs to replenish the workers, soldiers, leaders, scientists, doctors, nurses, etc.

Births fell for the sixth consecutive year to the lowest levels since 1979, the CDC said.

The U.S. birth rate is so low, the nation is “below replacement levels,” meaning more people die every day than are being born, the CDC said.

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/05/05/us-...d-to-another-record-low-in-2020-cdc-says.html

One reason for this is the leftist solution to fight climate change.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jul/12/want-to-fight-climate-change-have-fewer-children

Another from the radical modern feminist movement. Careers have become more important than motherhood.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashley...elaying-having-children-due-to-their-careers/

Abortions are promoted by the mainstream media, Hollywood, schools, or peer pressure.

Three-quarters said that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities, about two-thirds said they could not afford to have a child and half said they did not want to be a single parent or had relationship problems. A multivariate analysis showed young teenagers to be 32 percent more likely than women 18 or over to say they were not mature enough to raise a child and 19 percent more likely to say their parents wanted them to have an abortion. Unmarried women were 17 percent more likely than currently married women to choose abortion to prevent others from knowing they had had sex or became pregnant.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3243347/

Too many people not enough food according to socialists.

https://www.worldsocialism.org/spgb...oo-many-people-or-not-enough-food-production/

 

[Kidron]

Hey Everyone,

A recent post about marriage being God's holy outlet for sexual expression had me thinking about this question.

This is the reply I made to that particular post:

"It's a funny thing.

This leads into the discussion of how high a person's motivation to marry is based on a desire/need/compulsion for sex and how high it should be when influencing them to seek or marry a spouse.

We all know the infamous passage that tells us it's better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9,) but on the flip side, there have been many, many people on the forum over the years (usually in the Family Forum) who admitted to marrying specifically in order to deal with/have an outlet for their passion -- and it never seems to work out well.

I can't think of a single brave soul out there in the time I've been here who stood up and said, "YES!!! I was burning with passion before my marriage, I found myself a most reliable and usable outlet, oops, I mean, er, spouse, and bingo! Now all my flames have been tended to! Hallelujah!"
?

First and foremost, God created natural sexual intercourse : "to replenish the species".
See, if there was no sex, then there are no babies, = humans become extinct.....is the idea.

2nd). That Sex is first and foremost for replenishment of the species, PROVES that Gay SEX is unnatural and evil.. Why? Because Gay Sex cannot reproduce a baby, so that defeats and denies the foremost reason that God created sex......

3.) The sexual urge is a dominant and natural inclination. Only hunger and thirst are more aggressive, regarding desire, however that is because you can live without sex, but you can't live without food and water.

4. ) The NT speaks of "eunuchs", and that is both literal and spiritual.. a literal eunuch castrates themselves, as their crazy idea of discipleship....... The next level is to feel that God has empowered you to be able to control your sexual needs, so that you can exist comfortably as a celibate. The cult and demonic level of celibacy, is what Paul defines as a doctrine of Devils, (forbidding to marry) and that is The Catholic Cult forcing celibacy as their ritual of acceptance if a man wants to be a Priest. And this of course leads to sexual repression, that finds it way out as child molesting, which is the scourge of the Catholic Church for 1500 yrs, that they still try to hide.

5.) God gave sex between a man and a woman as their ultimate union and pleasure. It it God given, and God expected.
Paul teaches that the man is supposed to provide her with sexual satisfaction, and She her husband, and both are to not deny this, as a way to mistreat each other, as is often found in marriage when couples are in a unhappy relationship.

 

[Lanolin]

china had this problem but they dealt with it by restricting number of births, rather than what other nations have done which was have wars with other countries.

not to to say its good or bad but even in marriage you can only afford to have so many children...a big family is ok on say farmland but you try bringing up eight children in the city in one tiny apartment.

is there enough food to go round? I think while there IS food not everyone can access it. It takes a lot of resources and its not easy when children are young they cant just go to work and start feeding themselves.

families historically have been inevitable that another child is 'another mouth to feed' and many parents actually abandoned them when they were unable to do so. Well they still do.

if from the beginning your life is livng hand to mouth hungry with no idea where your next meal is coming from that is not a great existence to lead.

I think people need to think serioisly about this, when conditions are right its great to have children. But its very traumatic for everyone when they are not. Is this why Jesus didnt have children? He could have married any jewish woman that he wanted. But he did not. And why? would not his biological offspring been even more perfect? Messiah II?

 

[Kidron]

china had this problem but they dealt with it by restricting number of births,

Yes, they restricted the number of babies, per mother, by forcing the woman to have an abortion of all the other babies.

 

[Kidron]

Is this why Jesus didnt have children? He could have married any jewish woman

God as Christ had ONE reason to leave heaven to come here.
= To die on the Cross.

 

[Lanolin]

Yes, they restricted the number of babies, per mother, by forcing the woman to have an abortion of all the other babies

or sterlization or contraception. which is what a lot of other countries do as well.

but they also have incentives for just one child, though, not sure how its used.

 

[Lanolin]

other countries just cull their population by having wars every now and again.

 

[tourist]

other countries just cull their population by having wars every now and again.

...or create a virus.

 

[Kidron]

other countries just cull their population by having wars every now and again.

There is a difference between allowing the woman a right to have an abortion, vs, no human rights that force a woman to have an abortion.
In all cases the baby is murdered in the womb. And how do you know? Its because every abortion of a living baby, stops their heartbeat, and that is how you murder a human.

 

[Lanolin]

when the Hebrews were labouring in Egypt, the Pharoah saw they were getting too much in population and decided to do a cull.

He ordered all male hebrew babies drowned. Thankfully Moses escaped. But they really had to leave Egypt.

 

[Lanolin]

Pharoah didnt want them to leave though because he needed the workers

 

[Lanolin]

...or create a virus.

er, dont know about 'creating' a virus usually epidemics happen because of overpopulation....

overcrowded condtions and unsanitary living does spread a lot of dsease.

 

[Lanolin]

If you create a monoculture in the plant world its more likely the plants will exhaust the fertility of the soil and its easier for disease to spread..and if all th plants are in one place its like feasting time for pests, locusts, aphids etc.

same with humans. Which is why biodiversity can be a good thing. Actually it is best because the gene pool is varied.

 

[Lanolin]

God as Christ had ONE reason to leave heaven to come here.
= To die on the Cross.

he could have had children before he died. if his wife was a widow she could have married again (but she proably would have remarried Jesus when he got resurrected...but their child could have been raised by others when he left right?)

 

[Lynx]

Being an almost life long porn addiction and having experienced sex, I can unfortunately say sex although enticing lacks the same thrill. For awhile I believed getting married would solve this problem but I am now realizing my addiction has cost me much more than I thought and its almost impossible to be satisfied with dating or probably marriage. Since my standards on physical looks is unrealistic for a person of my features and build (a nice way of saying im ugly and shallow) I cant imagine finding anyone that fits the bill and when I think I do they just ignore me or I find out there are taken. Im at a loss at to what to do and I doubt even my addiction ending will make it better.

Interesting you should say that. This is exactly why seoulsearch said she was leery of going out with anybody who was addicted to porn. She wasn't really hopeful about being able to compete with an imaginary woman in an imaginary situation. It's interesting that her qualms were right on target.

 

[Kojikun]

Interesting you should say that. This is exactly why seoulsearch said she was leery of going out with anybody who was addicted to porn. She wasn't really hopeful about being able to compete with an imaginary woman in an imaginary situation. It's interesting that her qualms were right on target.

Yup, glad to know im undateable. I might still look as I like to torture myself with things I cant have. Im hoping my cancer comes back soon at this point.

 

[Kojikun]

Interesting you should say that. This is exactly why seoulsearch said she was leery of going out with anybody who was addicted to porn. She wasn't really hopeful about being able to compete with an imaginary woman in an imaginary situation. It's interesting that her qualms were right on target.

Im with an accountability group rn. Not sure if it'll help. I cant go without a partner, however I cannot get one at this point and there is no of me to get relief from my symptoms without giving into the addiction. Im kinda screwed.

 

[Kojikun]

Yeeeah replying to this thread was a dumb idea....