The sin of refusing sex
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K
Exactly. If you have to be up early in the morning to make breakfast, get the kids off to school, make it to work on time, then you can't be up all night with your spouse. You need sleep.
When your job is demanding, you need sleep when you get home. Not a nagging spouse going on about it being a sin to refuse sex.
Sex should happen when it's convenient for both persons. Not just giving in because it's a chore that must be done or else someone's gonna cheat.
It's not anyone's job to keep anyone from cheating. We all responsible for our actions. No matter what you do, you can't keep no one with a lack of self control or lust problem from cheating.
When your job is demanding, you need sleep when you get home. Not a nagging spouse going on about it being a sin to refuse sex.
Sex should happen when it's convenient for both persons. Not just giving in because it's a chore that must be done or else someone's gonna cheat.
It's not anyone's job to keep anyone from cheating. We all responsible for our actions. No matter what you do, you can't keep no one with a lack of self control or lust problem from cheating.
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G
I just can't imagine hubs coming home tonight ready to enjoy a 3 day weekend and replying to him
"sorry honey, it's just not a convenient time for me right now...... after all I've got a messy house from the kids running around all day, and groceries to go get, and then dinner to make...... not to mention.............."
"AND I've got to sleep sometime"
*gives him a quick peck on the cheek*
"guess you should've taken advantage of all the free time I had BEFORE the kids......
oh wait! YOU DID! That's why things are the way they are now.........
WELL, wasn't that CONVENIENT. Guess you''ll just have to wait another 10-12 years till they're all off to college and outta here.
In the mean time, just know that I love you and everything I do around here shows it"
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K
Exactly!! If you are too busy to be with your spouse, you're too busy. And if sex is a chore the same as cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed, you need to seek counseling. Sex is how you express your love for each other, it's an unbreakable connection spouses share, it's sacred and should never be treated like a chore. That is what the Bible says and that is what the OP is talking about. We're talking about a reasonable, normal, marital situation. You should want to share intimacy with your spouse and they with you. That is what God created us to do. It is natural, it shows you love for one another and brings you closer together as a couple. Totally agree with you sister.
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K
Up all night?! I don't think any couple is capable of that. And all the men said.... 
I don't think that anyone expects that.
A spouse should never have to nag the other for sex. If you love your spouse, you will want to spend that special time together that only you can share. It helps a couple grow closer, a relationship grow stronger. Never should one spouse have to nag the other for sex. God created us to want to be intimate with our spouses, it's a bond that only you two share. It's extremely important in a marriage and it's a commitment you make to each other when you take your vows.
Sex should happen because you love your spouse, you need that time together to grow your relationship, and it is as important as anything else in the relationship. Your spouse comes first and everything else second. And the same goes for them. The Bible says not to deprive each other. Why? Because we are created to want that time with our spouse. And if a spouse is constantly saying they have a headache they are creating a situation where temptation may come knocking. That's what the Bible says.
No, it in fact is your job as a spouse! Your husband isn't lusting if he's wanting sex with you!! But if you're constantly refusing him because you have better things to do you're not keeping your commitment to your spouse. That's what the Bible says.
1 Cor. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The Bible only mentions one reason to deprive a spouse, and that by mutual consent. It doesn't say for work, for kids, for shopping or any other reason. That would make a person think sex in a marriage is very important wouldn't you say? Your body is not your own, once you take those vows you both have made a commitment to each other. If you don't wish fulfill that then you had better stay single.
I don't think that anyone expects that.A spouse should never have to nag the other for sex. If you love your spouse, you will want to spend that special time together that only you can share. It helps a couple grow closer, a relationship grow stronger. Never should one spouse have to nag the other for sex. God created us to want to be intimate with our spouses, it's a bond that only you two share. It's extremely important in a marriage and it's a commitment you make to each other when you take your vows.
Sex should happen because you love your spouse, you need that time together to grow your relationship, and it is as important as anything else in the relationship. Your spouse comes first and everything else second. And the same goes for them. The Bible says not to deprive each other. Why? Because we are created to want that time with our spouse. And if a spouse is constantly saying they have a headache they are creating a situation where temptation may come knocking. That's what the Bible says.
No, it in fact is your job as a spouse! Your husband isn't lusting if he's wanting sex with you!! But if you're constantly refusing him because you have better things to do you're not keeping your commitment to your spouse. That's what the Bible says.
1 Cor. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The Bible only mentions one reason to deprive a spouse, and that by mutual consent. It doesn't say for work, for kids, for shopping or any other reason. That would make a person think sex in a marriage is very important wouldn't you say? Your body is not your own, once you take those vows you both have made a commitment to each other. If you don't wish fulfill that then you had better stay single.
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All night? Ten, 20, 30, or 40 minutes might make more sense then.
There is also prioritizing. A spouse might prefer a homecooked meal or be willing to cook something on the grill if it is a matter of time and chores. How many spouses prioritizing folding the laundry that night over taking care of their partner's physical needs? Some men would choose frozen fish sticks heated in the oven over an elaborate home cooked meal if it means getting some physical affection.
Some spouses might be digging coal out of the coal mine 16 hours a week. It's possible. But for a lot of people it is a matter of prioritizing one's partner's needs and actually caring about pleasing one's spouse. What other 'duties' does the Bible give us in marriage? The husband is to love the wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her, to honor the wife, and provide her food, clothing, and render her 'due benevolence'. The wife is to love, submit to, and obey her husband and render him 'due benevolence.' Taking both Old and New Testament instructions to husbands and wives, there aren't that many, and 'due benevolence' is one of the few things mentioned. Some of these other things that compete for our time are not.
Some people have physical issues. But in a lot of cases it is really a matter of attitude and really wanting to please one's spouse, make him or her experience love in that way, and take care of his or her needs. It is a 'duty', but neither man nor woman, typically, wants a partner who grits their teeth and begrudgingly does their duty. Getting joy out of making one's spouse happy is a good thing for a marriage, and it applies outside of the bedroom as well, of course.
[quote[]
Sex should happen when it's convenient for both persons. Not just giving in because it's a chore that must be done or else someone's gonna cheat.
It's not anyone's job to keep anyone from cheating. We all responsible for our actions. No matter what you do, you can't keep no one with a lack of self control or lust problem from cheating.[/QUOTE]
If someone commits adultery because his or her wife withholds sex, that person is responsible before God for the adultery. But if someone withholds sex from their spouse which weakens him or her up so that he or she falls into sin, that person is responsible before God for disobeying the teaching of scripture and not rendering 'due benevolence.'
And I think we all realize that some people are sick, have injuries, etc.
There is also prioritizing. A spouse might prefer a homecooked meal or be willing to cook something on the grill if it is a matter of time and chores. How many spouses prioritizing folding the laundry that night over taking care of their partner's physical needs? Some men would choose frozen fish sticks heated in the oven over an elaborate home cooked meal if it means getting some physical affection.
Some spouses might be digging coal out of the coal mine 16 hours a week. It's possible. But for a lot of people it is a matter of prioritizing one's partner's needs and actually caring about pleasing one's spouse. What other 'duties' does the Bible give us in marriage? The husband is to love the wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her, to honor the wife, and provide her food, clothing, and render her 'due benevolence'. The wife is to love, submit to, and obey her husband and render him 'due benevolence.' Taking both Old and New Testament instructions to husbands and wives, there aren't that many, and 'due benevolence' is one of the few things mentioned. Some of these other things that compete for our time are not.
Some people have physical issues. But in a lot of cases it is really a matter of attitude and really wanting to please one's spouse, make him or her experience love in that way, and take care of his or her needs. It is a 'duty', but neither man nor woman, typically, wants a partner who grits their teeth and begrudgingly does their duty. Getting joy out of making one's spouse happy is a good thing for a marriage, and it applies outside of the bedroom as well, of course.
[quote[]
Sex should happen when it's convenient for both persons. Not just giving in because it's a chore that must be done or else someone's gonna cheat.
It's not anyone's job to keep anyone from cheating. We all responsible for our actions. No matter what you do, you can't keep no one with a lack of self control or lust problem from cheating.[/QUOTE]
If someone commits adultery because his or her wife withholds sex, that person is responsible before God for the adultery. But if someone withholds sex from their spouse which weakens him or her up so that he or she falls into sin, that person is responsible before God for disobeying the teaching of scripture and not rendering 'due benevolence.'
And I think we all realize that some people are sick, have injuries, etc.
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Yes, sometimes people are busy and are tired and may not feel like it, but you shouldn't continuously deprive your partner. You don't have to pull an all nighter to satisfy your partner's needs. However, if you don't try to satisfy your partner,s needs this could lead the person to lust and other issues.
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