It's because God has a plan for you, maybe even a mission, and Satan knows that you are going to be extremely fruitful in your ministry, so he is using all the delay tactics that he knows work with you, in order to prevent you from actually serving in the role God has for you. I spent years being tormented like that. Then one day, almost miraculously, God planted me on His path and gave me a gentle shove in the right direction. I admit, I'm still a sinner, and don't always follow God's lead....which invariably ends up with God chastising me (Oh yes...definitely ouch) and urging me on. I think a good starting point is to apologize to God for focusing on your pain instead of focusing on His love and mercy. When you change your perspective, realize that God is Lord of all, and that your emotional pain is quite tiny when compared to the eternal weight of glory that is in your future....This is a God-centered perspective, and it really works!