I suppose I need to add a disclaimer here because the newer CC crowd is probably thinking, "Just who IS this cocky little girl, anyway??!" Lol.
If I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet, Hi, I'm Seoul, and one of the reasons I'm writing these threads is because I hope I can meet you in the forums.
When I was in my 20's, I had a husband, but he left to pursue a girlfriend he had met where we worked, and so one of my biggest testimonies is that God helped me learn how to completely start my life over. By the age of 26 (my husband had our divorce finalized sometime around the end of when I was 25), all the good Christian folks either told me I could never marry again because I was now divorced, or else told me I had plenty of time and would be remarried in a few years.
I had a few long-term relationships that were even worse, so before I was roughly 30, I was single even from dating relationships, and have been that way ever since. I've had a few crushes over the years, but generally found myself to be just one of many in a lineup that the other person was actively pursuing all at once.
Unless God changes my situation, I have decided I'm better off single, and I'm in the 40-ish age range now -- meaning, the next milestone age for me will be 50 (though I have a little ways to go.)
I'm not as meager and willing to just sit back and take assumptions as I was when I was in my 20's.
The avatar picture was taken this past fall (2019), and when people sometimes comment that I look young, I tell them it's because I'm a lifelong nerd who has been nothing but boring my entire life. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't party. My whole life was wrapped up in school, work, a few creative hobbies, and writing letters.
When I first started here in CC Singles, I was in my 30's and we had a younger crowd (20's and 30's.) The CC crowd now seems to be a little older (30's, 40's, and 50's), so this is one of the reasons why I become so adamant and fiercely protective of other single's independence and integrity when it is questioned in the forums. I'm not saying any of us is perfect. I'm just saying, "Don't assume things about us until you know us and/or have walked the long, lonely winding road that we've walked."
It's NOT because I somehow think I'm better than anyone else or have been through more than anyone else (to be honest, I often feel as if I've been sheltered and am less worthy when compared to what so many here have been through), but what I DO have to offer is several years (decades!) of experience living the single life, and I hope that if nothing else, I can try to put that black, swirling vortex of pain, tears, and crying out to God into helping to improve the lives of others who are single, whether lifelong, divorced, or widowed.
I will always have more the learn and more than enough room to grow, but I have also come to a point where I won't hesitate to confront and challenged the attitudes that singles are somehow misguided toddlers who need to be led by the hand of married couples. After all, 50% of married people will be single someday themselves, so please remember keep that in mind when you speak to us. You could be speaking to yourself in X amount of years.
For those who are here looking for comfort and fellowship, we are very glad you're here, and I hope you'll find something here in the forum that will help you.
God bless you, and we are all in this together!
See you in the threads.
