Hey All,
A long time ago, a brilliant CC member (who, unfortunately, isn't here anymore) wrote a "Shipping" (matchmaking) thread, and started it out by naming two people here whom he thought might be a good match for each other -- then invited everyone else to do the same.
As you can imagine, the thread absolutely exploded. Matchmaking seems to be an inevitable part of the single life, so hey, why not have a little fun with it here? I'm writing this initial thread to see if there's any interest, but more importantly, if we can avoid some of the pitfalls we came across last time, because some of them were quite controversial at the time. I'm always the type who is trying to "Build a Better Mouse Trap", but I guess in this case, it would be "Building a Better Spouse Trap."
In all seriousness, the thread would be more about meeting people and making friendships, and definitely should NOT be seen some kind of ultimate dating medium. In fact, if people said, "Hey, I think so and so (of the same gender) seem to have a lot in common and could be really good (platonic, of course!) friends," I would welcome that as well, because making friends is what Singles is all about.
Now, I don't mean to douse all the fun, but I do think we might need to discuss a few things in advance.
Here are some of the problems we had the last time:
1. Younger members who wanted to participate (one was about 16.)
Anyone here is free to take the idea of a matchmaking thread, make their own rules (within CC standards) and run with it, but for anything I write, I'm going to have an age restriction of 20 years old and over. This is just what I comfortable with. Now, if my PM box gets overrun messages from a mob of angry teenagers, I will gently explain to them that they have not only a Teen Forum, but also a Young Adults Forum, and even the freedom to start their own thread here in the Singles Forum if they so choose.
2. Unintended matches between those with large age gaps.
Many of us here don't have our age listed, and even when we did, sometimes a member would suggest two users who had a very wide age range between them (for example, about 20 years.) It usually wasn't on purpose -- people just didn't know how old everyone was.
My proposed idea, if enough people are interested, is that I'd write a 2nd thread asking for people who actively wanted to participate and would give them a list of "Help us get to know you better" statements to give us something to work with. I know some people might not want to give their age so I'm thinking that just asking them to state an age range ("25-30".) What do you think?
This second ("Getting to Know You") thread would also be meant to hopefully curb the next two problems:
3. Last time, some of the people who were "matched" already had significant others in real life. This set off another big debate because some people said that it was all in good fun (true) and that as long as someone wasn't married, they were fair game (sorry, I can't get on board with this.)
If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't want online strangers to be "matching" him with other women, even if it was just a "joke". I don't mean to sound like a dictator, but if I'm taking the time to write threads, I would also be setting the guidelines from past experience. I would ask that only completely unattached singles would participate. Speaking of participation...
4. Some people were "matched" -- but they weren't interested in participating at all, and people brought up their names because they were well-known at the time. A thread in which would-be participants answered voluntarily would help us know exactly what the pool was that we had to choose from. Anyone who didn't want to be matched or doesn't qualify just wouldn't answer the "Who Wants to Be Matched" thread.
And finally...
5. Although the past "Shipping" thread was meant to be in good fun and just meant as a way of possible forming friendships and getting to know people, it was probably inevitable that some people really WERE hopeful for a "REAL" match (someone they would actually start dating,) and felt genuinely sad and let down when the thread didn't help them find anyone.
People were also (understandably) mentioned as a match for anyone, or of they only got one match, while someone else was matched several times (this honestly happened because some members are more well-known and/or share more than others -- it was impossible to match people who hardly ever posted and/or never shared anything about themselves in their posts.)
That being said, would anyone still be interested? I know it probably seems like a killjoy to bring up all the problems before the attempt is even made, but I'm hoping against hope that we could still have fun and yet avoid any major disasters!
Thoughts, suggestions, and solutions are welcome.
Just to get an idea of how many might be interested, I'm including a poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please don't let that be a substitute for sharing your thoughts here on the thread. The more we get smoothed out in advance, the better I think it might go.
A long time ago, a brilliant CC member (who, unfortunately, isn't here anymore) wrote a "Shipping" (matchmaking) thread, and started it out by naming two people here whom he thought might be a good match for each other -- then invited everyone else to do the same.
As you can imagine, the thread absolutely exploded. Matchmaking seems to be an inevitable part of the single life, so hey, why not have a little fun with it here? I'm writing this initial thread to see if there's any interest, but more importantly, if we can avoid some of the pitfalls we came across last time, because some of them were quite controversial at the time. I'm always the type who is trying to "Build a Better Mouse Trap", but I guess in this case, it would be "Building a Better Spouse Trap."
In all seriousness, the thread would be more about meeting people and making friendships, and definitely should NOT be seen some kind of ultimate dating medium. In fact, if people said, "Hey, I think so and so (of the same gender) seem to have a lot in common and could be really good (platonic, of course!) friends," I would welcome that as well, because making friends is what Singles is all about.
Now, I don't mean to douse all the fun, but I do think we might need to discuss a few things in advance.
Here are some of the problems we had the last time:
1. Younger members who wanted to participate (one was about 16.)
Anyone here is free to take the idea of a matchmaking thread, make their own rules (within CC standards) and run with it, but for anything I write, I'm going to have an age restriction of 20 years old and over. This is just what I comfortable with. Now, if my PM box gets overrun messages from a mob of angry teenagers, I will gently explain to them that they have not only a Teen Forum, but also a Young Adults Forum, and even the freedom to start their own thread here in the Singles Forum if they so choose.
2. Unintended matches between those with large age gaps.
Many of us here don't have our age listed, and even when we did, sometimes a member would suggest two users who had a very wide age range between them (for example, about 20 years.) It usually wasn't on purpose -- people just didn't know how old everyone was.
My proposed idea, if enough people are interested, is that I'd write a 2nd thread asking for people who actively wanted to participate and would give them a list of "Help us get to know you better" statements to give us something to work with. I know some people might not want to give their age so I'm thinking that just asking them to state an age range ("25-30".) What do you think?
This second ("Getting to Know You") thread would also be meant to hopefully curb the next two problems:
3. Last time, some of the people who were "matched" already had significant others in real life. This set off another big debate because some people said that it was all in good fun (true) and that as long as someone wasn't married, they were fair game (sorry, I can't get on board with this.)
If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't want online strangers to be "matching" him with other women, even if it was just a "joke". I don't mean to sound like a dictator, but if I'm taking the time to write threads, I would also be setting the guidelines from past experience. I would ask that only completely unattached singles would participate. Speaking of participation...
4. Some people were "matched" -- but they weren't interested in participating at all, and people brought up their names because they were well-known at the time. A thread in which would-be participants answered voluntarily would help us know exactly what the pool was that we had to choose from. Anyone who didn't want to be matched or doesn't qualify just wouldn't answer the "Who Wants to Be Matched" thread.
And finally...
5. Although the past "Shipping" thread was meant to be in good fun and just meant as a way of possible forming friendships and getting to know people, it was probably inevitable that some people really WERE hopeful for a "REAL" match (someone they would actually start dating,) and felt genuinely sad and let down when the thread didn't help them find anyone.
People were also (understandably) mentioned as a match for anyone, or of they only got one match, while someone else was matched several times (this honestly happened because some members are more well-known and/or share more than others -- it was impossible to match people who hardly ever posted and/or never shared anything about themselves in their posts.)
That being said, would anyone still be interested? I know it probably seems like a killjoy to bring up all the problems before the attempt is even made, but I'm hoping against hope that we could still have fun and yet avoid any major disasters!
Thoughts, suggestions, and solutions are welcome.
Just to get an idea of how many might be interested, I'm including a poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please don't let that be a substitute for sharing your thoughts here on the thread. The more we get smoothed out in advance, the better I think it might go.
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