I can see that you are having a very difficult time making the transition from the old covenant into the new covenant and you remain under the law. Israel had the same problem. Romans 10:1 - Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved. 2 For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. 3 For they being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and seeking to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted to the righteousness of God. 4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who BELIEVES.GOD will Never do away with HIS law, ECC 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear GOD, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. Moses hand writings that pointed to JESUS going to the CROSS was the laws that was done away With.
And that was only the ones that was against us, just like COLOSSIANS 2:14 tell us, You are trying to do away with the eternal law,That without it there would not even be sin, And THAT IS VERY SAD TO ME, That people would want to do away with GODs LAWS, And try to say that they love GOD, And GOD HAS THE RIGHT to TELL US HOW WE SHOULD LIVE, LIKE Satan WANTS TO LIVE LIKE HE WANTS TO AND STILL LIVE THE WAY THEY WANT TO. BUT He WILL BE BROUGHT TO ASHES AND WILL NOT BE ANY MORE, GONE FOR EVER AND EVER, THE same will happen to those that want to live the way they want to and still LIVE, GOD WILL destroy them to, gone FOR EVER. JUST like Satan in the END.
GOD bless as HE sees fit
1 Corinthians 1:21 - For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who BELIEVE.