Easy question...
Should unrepentant cohabitation (shacking up), defined as enjoying the sexual benefits of marriage outside of marriage, be a cause for church discipline and disfellowshipment?
And, if someone is involved in it, and is allowed to stay within the fellowship, does that disqualify him as a teacher?
Additionally, how would your answer be affected if the person was not a member of the church, but was a regular attender long-term?
Here's why I am asking. I have a friend that I care about. He's attending some kind of Arminian church that apparently believes it is fine to cohabitate. The pastor knows about the situation, presumably, because his pastor is a facebook friend of both individuals.
The woman he is cohabitating with is also a member of this Arminian church.
I met the guy as I was working in a parachurch ministry related to recovery. He was one of the people I was attempting to help. To be honest, it's quite frustrating when someone seems to be making progress as a new believer, but then gets involved in something like that.
He is actually involved in addictions recovery (which was his main issue) with his church group. He goes into the jail environment and is involved in presenting lessons to them related to recovery.
Perhaps this is denomination-oriented. Is this normal in Arminian churches? I know that Reformed Baptist churches would discipline someone who was involved in this, due to their high view of God's law.
I find it bizarre that any church could be so blind that they don't know that cohabitation is a work of the flesh. And, I thought the guy was in good hands with this pastor. It seems like for all of the Arminian talk about holiness, to me, it is nothing but hot air.
2Ti 3:4 lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
2Ti 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
2Ti 3:6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
2Ti 3:7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
The Bible says that some have a form of godliness, but deny the Spirit to lead them as they enjoy sin, from such turn away from them, and are lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.
Which a couple living together not married would seem like a fleshy pleasure for it is not legal in God's eyes.
1Co 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
1Co 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1Co 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
Those that engage in these things do not eat with them, and put that wicked person away from among yourselves.
2Th 3:14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
2Th 3:15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
But I do not believe this has to do with the building of God, the Church, where people come to praise God, and hear the word of God, and repent of their sins, for while the saints outside the building should not keep company with the hypocrites I believe in the Church building they should be welcome as long as they do not cause any trouble, or cause someone to stumble.
If someone has a problem stealing, or fornicating, I do not believe they should be banned from the Church building for that is what it is for to realize you need to get rid of your sins, and grow in Christ, and let that be between God and them for they offended God not the Church people, and they should be able to worship God and hear the word of God like everyone else, and they might get rid of their sins.
But outside the Church building those not hypocritical should not keep company with those being hypocritical for it does not look good.
But if a Church preaches the holiness of Jesus and to act accordingly and some do not comply that does not reflect on the Church for they are preaching truth, and everyone is welcome whether they live in sin or not for it is God's house, and the Church is a good setting to straighten them up.
In a Church building you only associate with who you want to associate with anyway and you do not have to associate with certain ones but they should still be able to be at the Church building, and to snub them looking down on them in a condemning manner is a sin right there, for judge not lest you be judged for we are sinners saved by grace.
That is the way I see it do not associate with them outside the Church building, but they should be able to go to the Church building for the place should be for all whether hypocritical, or living like Christ, or first getting saved.
But the main thing is if the Church preaches the truth for that is the foundation, and if some do not comply that is on the person not the Church for the Church has it covered on what is truth, and that is to act Christlike, and a man and a woman should be married to have sex.
2Ti 2:20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.
2Ti 2:21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
In a great house there is some to honor and some to dishonor, and if those to dishonor do right they will be a vessel unto honor, so it appears as if God says it is alright for them to be in the physical building even though they are hypocritical for all should be welcome at the Church, and it does not reflect badly on the Church if the preacher speaks out against hypocritical, and wrong behavior that is not Christlike, for then the bases are covered of how the Church stands.
The Church is for people that need to repent of their sins whether for the first time, or from hypocritical behavior.
I do not think it is any of the preacher's business who is doing what in the Church physical building as long as they are acting properly when there.
The preacher just needs to do their job of presenting the truth, and let God deal with their behavior.
2Th 3:14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
2Th 3:15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
They should be able to go to the Church building but put them on ignore, and do not keep company with them, so that hopefully they will be ashamed and stop their behavior.
I just do not see keeping a person from going to the Church building because they are involved in fornication, but would see it as wrong if the preacher did not speak against their wrongful behavior, and said it is alright, for that would be the error, although do not bring up any person's sin, but speak against the sin in a general way of saying all sin is bad.
There are so many people that go to Church that do little things that are a sin and think well it is not that bad, but all sin is unrighteousness, and if you offend in the least of the law you offend in all.
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