Apparently I can't get married
- Thread starter SundayMorning88
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
The decision of having or not having children is between the husband and wife with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
You do what the Holy Spirit guides you to do. As far as I know, Catholics and born again Christians worship the same Jesus. Who’s to say what heart is a Christian or not, that’s Gods judgment not mine. There won’t be denominations in heaven, just Jesus and His chosen. I pray the peace that passes understanding guides you in your decisions.
Of course, most evangelical churches will say that these two verses were God's commands given to specific people at a specific time for a specific purpose not intended to be permanent commands to all people.
Sorry, Dino, offhand I cannot provide a passage but when God created man and woman, He told them to go forth and multiply .. not once did He say, multiply if you wish or just have fun if you wish .. lol .. I think God made it so the only way to reproduce was by sex between man and woman and that procreation is a must to keep God's Kingdom going .. He did not rule out or rule in sex for pleasure but I do think He would not object to such but I do think He would object to a couple ruling out having kids just so they can have pleasure and fun but if they had a reason God would agree with, such as it appears the woman who started this thread thinks she has, I think He would allow for her to do as she genuinely thought best BUT I do not think God allows for any use of artificial birth control but, rather, birth control by abstinance .. I may be wrong but I do believe such .. nowhere in God's Word does it say one may use artificial birth control but it does say a couple may agree to abstain when doing a fast or such ..
I think the RCC does not practise true Christianity as they add a lot of their own thing and prioritise some of such as being more important than what God wills but I believe there are true Christians within Catholicism and that many, if not most, of them are being deceived in some ways. It is up to them to seek and find the truth and go with it.
I do think God "says" what He chooses and "means what He says" and if He did not say something, I think a true Christian still knows His intent and His will. Some Christians are self-serving, lovers of self, and man-pleasing and such Christians would put themselves ahead of God - their choice, their consequence.
L
Locoponydirtman
Guest
Well, I guess I'm gonna parrot what I always do in these types of conversations. If ya don't want a family why would ya want to get married?
Not that I think you can't for some reason, but why would you?
As for the rest I guess that opening statement says a lot. Being Catholic they teach a bunch of man made traditions that don't really pan out when compared to the Bible. Which could be contributing to your anxiety, and depression.
Which brings me to the next thing. If you are suffering with anxiety and depression, is it a good idea to get married? Because being married won't cure it, it will only burden some one else with it too.
This is my opinion and with that and $7 you can buy some horrific coffee at the terrible box chain coffee shop that has spread across this country like a pox, Maybe you should work on yourself, get some hobbies, and some friends and get the anxiety and depression managed then you might not even want to get married.
just a thought, but I could be wrong.
Not that I think you can't for some reason, but why would you?
As for the rest I guess that opening statement says a lot. Being Catholic they teach a bunch of man made traditions that don't really pan out when compared to the Bible. Which could be contributing to your anxiety, and depression.
Which brings me to the next thing. If you are suffering with anxiety and depression, is it a good idea to get married? Because being married won't cure it, it will only burden some one else with it too.
This is my opinion and with that and $7 you can buy some horrific coffee at the terrible box chain coffee shop that has spread across this country like a pox, Maybe you should work on yourself, get some hobbies, and some friends and get the anxiety and depression managed then you might not even want to get married.
just a thought, but I could be wrong.
I thought I was wrong once but I was wrong .. lol
I agree that the woman in question should work on improving herself and her life and some of her current anxiety may become null and void in due time ..
S
Scribe
Guest
You wrote "I don't have the patience for children, I have anxiety and really bad depression. " So don't you think it would be a bad idea to marry a husband for the same reason? A husband would have to tolerate your lack of patience, anxiety and really bad depression and that would not make for a happy life for him would it? So if you do not want to subject children to your personal faults why would you want to subject a husband to them? You probably need to work on solving these issues first and I am convinced that lack of patience, anxiety, and really bad depression are all curable by the power, and the infilling of the Holy Spirit. No born again believer in Jesus Christ should simply accept these things you have listed as though they are here to stay and cannot be cured. Jesus can give you more patience, after all, that seems to be a major theme in the New Testament. We can and should learn how to possess this gift. Anxiety is also cured by faith in Christ and speaking the Word of God over our situations and seeing Him work in our lives until by experience we learn to be careful for nothing but to cast our cares on him and let the Peace of God reign in our hearts and minds. The depression is often associated with our thought life and how we view ourselves. Are we seeing ourselves the way God does, the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus or are we listening to the accuser satan? There are many root causes for depression but most are curable and we can live with ever-present Joy if we will purse Christ with faith. Joy comes by being filled with the Holy Spirit and you can have so much joy that depression is an old forgotten memory. When you are walking in the overcoming life of a New Testament saint then consider marriage, because you will then be marriage material and can be a blessing to others. Maybe you will want children when you are ready for marriage. It is not the desire of children or a husband you need right now, it is freedom from the lack of patience, anxiety and really bad depression. But be assured you can have victory and overcome these if you cry out to Jesus Christ in faith and refuse to accept defeat. He promises deliverance from these things and He came to save us from such things.
well spoken .. and right .. a husband to be would have to be in agreement with not having children and as you say and so have others, would a husband to be be able to manage when his wife had such issues .. I agree that this lady should seek help in overcoming her difficulties and in turning to God and discussing the issues with Him and wait for and accept the help He gives her ..
Let's see. I'm guessing gal who was a nun for 40 years has never married or had children; does she consider herself to have shirked that whole having children duty? What about women who have married and tried for years to have children but been unsuccessful? While I will agree philosophically that it's wrong and unhealthy to dissociate the idea of sex with the idea of procreation; I also think that if God meant for pregnancy to result every time two people have sex, well he could have come up with a design to ensure that. Instead there's actually a very narrow window of when a woman can get pregnant and rather uniquely among the animals, human females can be up for sex even when they're not fertile.
On a practical level though, I know such judgemental comments can be hurtful, but her opinion isn't of much practical importance. Unless you have a man you're serious about now there's a good chance that your patience, anxiety, and depression levels will have changed before the question of children becomes a practical concern. This old lady may no longer be a part of your life by the time you meet someone you want to marry. There are other benefits to marriage besides children, otherwise people past child bearing age wouldn't bother getting married, but they do.
So do your best to ignore this judgmental advice that likely has little bearing on your present life. Deal with the immediate challenges in your day to day life and seek God's help in those, and if someday God brings an awesome man into your life, be upfront and honest with him about your desire or lack thereof for children at that point and wherever your struggles with anxiety and depression are. And if he wants to be with you knowing all the challenges ahead, then God bless you both. But until then worrying overmuch about all the what if's is the opposite of trusting God in that area of your life.
Sadly I think that mindset also comes from the older generations where women literally were baby factories. Yes procreation is a good idea and parenthood is wonderful, but God has more for us in life than only that aspect of it.
I am sure God does not object in the least to a married couple having proper sexual relations (He may object to some ways exercised) but I do believe He would object to a couple deliberately prohibiting pregnancy that may or may not have occurred by using artificial birth control of any sort. As I said before, when a married couple is going to fast or pray for a period of time, they might agree to "abstain" from sex for the duration. Abstinence could be used at times when pregnancy was more inclined to occur but I really do not think God would approve of any Christian married couple choosing sex in which the possibility of pregnancy would be prohibited by their doing.
Well hopefully OP you don't feel too stung by the anti-catholicism.
It's deeper levels of doctrine and the practices of the RCC that I think most have a problem with.
I'm sure you could go to a catholic denomination in a remote part of the world and find it isn't anything like what it is in the Vatican so that is something of a factor for me...I like a lot of things about their practices but not pharasaical "christians" but they are probably in every church (meaning a building in this instance) to some extent. Same thing with ritualistic activity that no longer holds any meaning and is "dead". It's in most denominations. Traditions that are now defunct, or that very few even know why they are done besides what the standardized "curriculum" says.
You see this all over the place.
I think you can be a believer in a host of diverse environments. Hopefully you gained a little bit of usefulness in the opinions shared.
I have respect for consecration and some are called to chastity specifically, although I haven't ever really met anyone that was intentional about it. It may be just one woman's opinion but it brought up enough for you to post about. I think pretty much everyone sometimes just "says stuff" and don't consider the contextual whole of another person. In fact I would say it's practically impossible to do so without the Lord's guidance.
It's deeper levels of doctrine and the practices of the RCC that I think most have a problem with.
I'm sure you could go to a catholic denomination in a remote part of the world and find it isn't anything like what it is in the Vatican so that is something of a factor for me...I like a lot of things about their practices but not pharasaical "christians" but they are probably in every church (meaning a building in this instance) to some extent. Same thing with ritualistic activity that no longer holds any meaning and is "dead". It's in most denominations. Traditions that are now defunct, or that very few even know why they are done besides what the standardized "curriculum" says.
You see this all over the place.
I think you can be a believer in a host of diverse environments. Hopefully you gained a little bit of usefulness in the opinions shared.
I have respect for consecration and some are called to chastity specifically, although I haven't ever really met anyone that was intentional about it. It may be just one woman's opinion but it brought up enough for you to post about. I think pretty much everyone sometimes just "says stuff" and don't consider the contextual whole of another person. In fact I would say it's practically impossible to do so without the Lord's guidance.
Good post, Mii. I think most, if not all, who responded to this person's concerns provided sincere help but the bottom line remains that the person who started this thread really needs to seek all help she can get to make a decision that is in full accordance with God's Will and to be healed as much as can be of her issues.
And, Mii, you are right about most, if not all Christian denominations, doing things that may be questionable according to God's Word and God's Will. As a former Catholic, I know the RCC is way out of line in many things they teach and practise but there are some true Christians there and the onus is upon them to find and follow the real Truth.
L
LittleMermaid
Guest
I know that Catholics don't believe in birth control. So if you want to be Catholic and get married, then yes you probably will have kids. Unless you get married later in life. If you don't believe in everything Catholicism teaches, maybe you should look into another Christian church. I grew up Catholic and I'm so thankful to God that I'm not anymore. I didn't really know him back then.
Another thing...maybe stop worrying about what might not even happen. What if you don't even get married? Then why even worry about having kids or not? As someone who has struggled with anxiety, I've learned it's best not to worry about anything that isn't right in my face yet. Tomorrow will worry about itself, each day has enough trouble of its own.
Another thing...maybe stop worrying about what might not even happen. What if you don't even get married? Then why even worry about having kids or not? As someone who has struggled with anxiety, I've learned it's best not to worry about anything that isn't right in my face yet. Tomorrow will worry about itself, each day has enough trouble of its own.
As I have said before, God's Holy Word aka Bible does clearly say that God created man and woman and told them to go forth and multiply, making the primary use of sex in marriage that of procreation. Sex for fun and pleasure is not addressed in God's Holy Word and, thus, it is not the primary concern. I am sure God does not object to such sex within proper boundaries (not some outlandish things some try) but nowhere does God's Holy Word say that the couple may use artificial birth control devices to inhibit or prohibit pregnancy. The only method recommended is "abstinance" at such times as a couple agreeing to fast and/or pray for a specific period of time. So, Catholic or not, God's Word is clear in the meaning of what it does say and even in what it does not specifically say.
I agree wholeheartedly that no one should worry as such is always only negative and can and does NOTHING but cause greater anxiety. Deal with current problems and issues and leave the past in the past and leave the future to present itself when ready. Don't put the cart before the horse. Do all you can to prevent what you can but don't anticipate what is not yet happening and may never happen.
Yours is a common line of thinking, but it is flawed on at least two counts.
The first is context. God did not say to every human, "Go forth and multiply". Rather, He said it two the first two humans on the planet. It is poor hermeneutics to apply that to everyone today.
The second is an argument from silence. I agree; the Bible does not say that we may use birth control. It also doesn't say that we may drive cars, use computers, eat organic foods, or play pianos during worship, but intelligent Christians do all of those things and many more.
What the Bible does say is that a husband and wife may not deprive each other except by mutual consent. Deprive from what? Sexual pleasure, of course. It doesn't say they may not refuse to reproduce. The Bible also says "Rejoice in the wife of your youth"; the implication is sexual pleasure. The entire book of Song of Solomon is focused on romantic and sexual pleasure between a husband and wife... and procreation is not on the table.
So, I would encourage you to do some more homework on the subject, and don't imbibe unquestioningly what you are taught.