Why won't guys make a move?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

JulesMarie188

New member
#1
May 20, 2019
6
2
3
#1
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
#4
#4
blue_ladybug said:
HUH?? :confused::unsure:
Click to expand...
I wondered what on earth mgtow meant too. According to google it means Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW /ˈmɪɡtaʊ/) is a mostly online community of men supported by websites and social media presences cautioning men against serious romantic relationships with women, especially marriage and cohabitation. The community is part of what is more broadly termed the manosphere.

What next?
 
ToastAndTea

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
#5
Jul 31, 2018
301
384
63
#5
JulesMarie188 said:
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
Click to expand...
Well as you yourself admitted, you are still young. So maybe you need to give it a few years. If the guys in your life aren't biting, perhaps God has not opened that particular door. Our years of singleness are preparation for marriage so you might want to consider what that means.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
27,701
9,627
113
#6
Howdy Jules Marie, and welcome to the forum.

At 20 a lot of guys are really self-centered. If I were you I'd just let them stay where they are. If you happen to find a good one, great, but don't get your hopes up. And definitely don't spend too much time chasing them. You might actually catch one, and once you catch one it's hard to throw him back in the pond.

How do I know? I'm a 40 year old guy and I can remember 20. I was fairly self-centered too, as were most of the guys I knew.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#7
Oct 13, 2014
6,891
1,960
113
Germany
#7
Guys dont make moves unless theyre really super interested or they are scared to do something wrong..usually its one of these cases
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#8
May 17, 2015
2,942
1,617
113
48
#8
blue_ladybug said:
HUH?? :confused::unsure:
Click to expand...
MGTOW stands for "Men Going Their Own Way". In a nutshell, it's men who have either been severely hurt in relationships with women or those who have not actually been hurt themselves but don't want to take the risk. Most of the men who are MGTOW are quiet about it; they just live their lives as they see fit. The reason we know about MGTOW is because there are some vocal members of the group.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#9
JulesMarie188 said:
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
Click to expand...
The answer is that they have a fear of commitment, fear of rejection or they have no interest.

My advice is to enjoy the age that you are and focus on improving your life. I recommend that you start a daily regimen of bible study, contemplation and prayer if you have not already done so. This will prepare you for getting and staying on the proper spiritual track that is necessary for spiritual growth and equip you with the tools you will need to survive and hopefully thrive in today's world.

Plenty of time for guys later once you have achieved a level of stability and are focused on the things that are going to help you become successful in life.

Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#10
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#10
JulesMarie188 said:
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
Click to expand...
7 years, so you were in a relationship with the same guy since you were 12 or 13 years old (depends on how long a while is). First thought is learn to be a single adult and be okay on your own; the last thing you want to do is become someone who always has to be in a relationship and so will take any available, willing guy no matter how much of a jerk just to avoid being alone. There are a multitude of reasons guys might not ask you out even if they're interested. Selfishness is a possibility, so it that they're so used to thinking of you as someone who is taken that they haven't mentally caught up with the fact that you're available, some of it may be that you make a good friend but they don't see you as girlfriend material, or maybe they are a bit wiser and don't want to be your rebound or your relationship for the sake of being a relationship or realize that there are practical concerns that make now not a good time for a relationship. As for advice, be patient, grab a copy of the book the sacred search and read it, cultivate true godly love in your heart and show it to your neighbors, friends, and enemies, and accept that ultimately you can't force other people to do anything but God's got the situation in hand and will be there to rely on whether you are single or married.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#13
Aug 13, 2014
27,701
9,627
113
#13
MGTOW can change real fast to MRBTM (Men Running Back To Mama) when they get a loose button on their shirt or a split in their pants. Very few guys I know can sew a patch.
 
OneOfHis

OneOfHis

Well-known member
#14
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,210
113
#14
Large general questions usually can't be answered accurately when individuals are involved.

Many of the wrong sorts of men would make a move even if you weren't single.

Some young men don't want a young woman with many guy friends.

Some won't move until they see you are what they want in a wife and what they want in a mother to children.

Some guys are so focused on silly things or games they wouldn't make a move even if they thought you were interested.

I think your best bet is to try and see the blessings of being single, the free time and privacy.

Enjoy your walk with Jesus and if there comes a time you desire an individual man more than a relationship in general... try to make sure he is ready to be the sort of husband and father to your children youd be happy with...
(also... it would be wise to make sure he is a believer of the true gospel)


...please don't settle for or rush into something that most likely won't last...
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,701
9,627
113
#15
OneOfHis said:
Enjoy your walk with Jesus and if there comes a time you desire an individual man more than a relationship in general...
Click to expand...
Interesting (and apt) way to put it... When you are more interested in being with that person than you are interested in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone.

I am henceforth appropriating the concept, if not the exact wording, and using it myself in future conversations.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#16
Lynx said:
Interesting (and apt) way to put it... When you are more interested in being with that person than you are interested in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone.

I am henceforth appropriating the concept, if not the exact wording, and using it myself in future conversations.
Click to expand...
I like that word 'henceforth' and as such will be incorporating it into my own particular vehicular, uh, vernacular to be used in my future conversation or conversations as the case may be
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#17
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#17
Lynx said:
MGTOW can change real fast to MRBTM (Men Running Back To Mama) when they get a loose button on their shirt or a split in their pants. Very few guys I know can sew a patch.
Click to expand...
When I was a single man I learned to sew buttons back on my shirts. Then I wised up and just wore T-shirts 'cause they ain't got no buttons to mess with.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#18
Jul 24, 2016
7,600
3,622
113
#18
JulesMarie188 said:
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
Click to expand...
It may be the #Metoo witch hunt that woman have started..

They have established that an unwanted male approach to a woman is a form of abuse..

Now when does a guy find out that his approach a woman is unwanted???

Think for a minute......

Answer:: That's right... AFTER He makes an approach..

But he finds out too late because he has already broken the Law.. He has already made an unwanted approach and thus the woman can make the claim she has been traumatized by a guy who had made an unwanted approach to her..

Guy then is crucified.. Loses His job,, gets dispelled from University,, Ends up in court on an abuse charge, where he is deemed guilty unless he can prove himself innocent ( Note the modern dogma,, We must always believe the female victim ) So the presumption of innocence until proven guilty that has been the basis of western civilization for centuries has been overturned by feminist activists.. Men are presumed guilty unless they can prove themselves innocent these days..

So why would a young guy of today approach a woman? Maybe if he is reckless and likes the excitement of the danger of playing Russian roulette he will take the chance.. But if he is a wise young man he will avoid approaching woman..
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#20
Jul 24, 2016
7,600
3,622
113
#20
Oh and MGTOW men have assessed the changes that have happened in western culture and Laws dealing with relationships, marriage and divorce and have decided that marriage to modern western feminist cultured woman, combined with a Legal system that favours the interests of divorced woman over that of the man means it is way to dangerous to their emotional and material well being.. They have decided to avoid marriage and seek another path in life..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.