Young Wife struggling w/ lack of intimacy from husband

[Angela53510]

I know quite a bit about it even from my own life with a man that has even less of a drive than she described her own husband to have.
Its sad how you look down on people and give me so much hate
You changed quite to the negative.

The only hate I see is a teenager who is not married. You don't get your way, and you attack the person, instead of the argument. How ad hominem of you! And knowing one asexual person, does not make an average, mean, median or range! All it makes is an exception to the rule!

Perhaps you had better look at me again, too! I don't look down on anyone, unless they are not only teaching heresies, but blaspheming God, and trying to pull people away from the truth of the Bible and salvation in Christ. I don't hate those people. I pity them, but neither will I let it go, when it concerns the eternal destiny of a person.

 

[Demi777]

The only hate I see is a teenager who is not married. You don't get your way, and you attack the person, instead of the argument. How ad hominem of you! And knowing one asexual person, does not make an average, mean, median or range! All it makes is an exception to the rule!

Perhaps you had better look at me again, too! I don't look down on anyone, unless they are not only teaching heresies, but blaspheming God, and trying to pull people away from the truth of the Bible and salvation in Christ. I don't hate those people. I pity them, but neither will I let it go, when it concerns the eternal destiny of a person.

How do you want to know if I am married or not. I didn't attack anyone. I didnt call anyone names nor did I belittle anyone.
Youve dont that twice already. I didnt say I only know one person only either.
I am not here to argue with you and I am not here for letting people belittle me or anything close to that.
I didnt blame her for anything. If I had, I wouldnt have brought up ideas to try to strengthen their relationship.
With that being said, have a nice Morning

 

[SIMON55]

I looked it up on google, of course. And yes, I was completely shocked! But then, the men that don't want sex, whether they are asexual or homosexual, also count. So, they bring the average down. I can tell you, we were much higher in frequency than the averages given. Unless they are also adding people with diabetes (I think that shuts down the libido, too!), and so forth! Perhaps it would be better to use the range, or the median as the measurement?

(Looks around for Posthuman! Lol)

diagnosed borderline diabetic 2 yr ago.....stopped sugar intake lost 30 lbs .....in one month....
A1C lab dropped to just barely above normal no libido reduction......
Started natural nutrient intake.....

I am sure lifestyle fitness increase in population obesity dietary choices processed garbage diet etc probably all factor in.
Caucasion people have the lowest birth rate of all races
Depending on how much time remains for the world of flesh caucasion will become the minority race unless a drastic change in demographics occur.....
Muslim have highest birthrate and in time will overtake the world by population.


😀

 

[pottersclay]

Hello there....

I am just new to the forum but I really have been struggling with this and I feel so alone in this struggle....
I will try to keep this as fairly short as possible but it may be a little long. To start off, my husband and I have been married for about two years now. Before being married we had dated for 3 yrs. almost 4. My husband and I are fairly young we are both in our mid 20's and have no kids. We both work long hours and have tough commutes and jobs. I spend nearly 3.5 hours on average everyday commuting and my schedule is pretty much like 7AM - 8PM. I am not complaining at all though! God gives me patience and strength to preserve through this and I am doing what I love in my career. My husband says his work is very demanding too and he is constantly running around all day taking car of customers his schedule pretty much looks like 5:30 AM- 6PM.

I say that to give some context on what is going on but now I will explain the part that is literally so gut wrenching and painful.... the lack of desire and intimacy.....

When my husband and I were dating we had a lot of passion, we loved to be together, we may have at times been too physical but we saved sex for our wedding night. But the point is he could barely keep his hands off of me.... he loved to kiss, cuddle and hold me. He always wanted to kiss me and pursue me, he would tell all the time how he could barely even sleep because he was thinking about me and how much he wanted to be with me. We knew early on that we wanted to get married and when we became engaged and closer to our wedding day he would say things like how he couldn't wait til we got married and how much sex we would have like everyday.... you get the point it actually seemed like he genuinely desired and wanted me.

Flash forward to once we got married.... our wedding night was amazing and then things.... just seemed to change.... I can't recall for sure but we did have sex a couple times for our little get away (we did not actually have a honey moon until last year) and that was all good but once we got back home things were off. We were also planning to move so we were temporarily staying with my parents for like a week or something before driving out to the west coast. I would iniate sex and try to be intimate but he literally just straight up rejected me only after a few days of being married.... He said something like... we don't always have to have sex all the time, sometimes its just nice to cuddle... and continually said so. That first initial rejection absolutely crushed my heart but I tried to understand and maybe he wasn't comfortable having sex since we were living with my family at the time.... so I brushed that off. It really hurt though because I wanted to be intimate and close to him we HAD JUST GOT MARRIED and he was already turning me down, it just really hurt.

So once we moved to the west coast we were temporarily staying with his family but we had a much bigger room and more private space. I thought that he wouldn't keep rejecting me but.... lo and behold he did and would use the same excuse that he "likes variety" and likes to cuddle. or that he was too tired..... he basically like just stopped iniating sex with me and it was always me trying to be intimate with him. Most times he would respond but a lot of times he would reject me which ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED me and my self esteem. I was beginning to think I wasn't attractive enough to him anymore or that he didn't like me. When I confronted him about it he would say that he loves me very much and finds me very attractive but he doesn't want to have sex all the time... so months of this pattern went by.... He was getting better about not rejecting my advances but he still really did not iniate with me and would basically just seem disinterested in sex in general. Like it was on the back burner for him and not a priority. Even when we got our own apartment things were basically the same way. At this time his job was not even as demanding as it is now so his tired excuse seems like it doesn't hold up....

In the present.... things are better but still... he shows a lack of interest in intimacy and sex. He tells me he is just so tired and he can't sleep well but he loves me and finds me very attractive and I totally get he's tired and understand but he literally treats sex like a chore and it completely crushes my soul. We have even went to counseling because things were getting so bad with his attitude toward this and I was getting so sad, angry, and upset over the past years with our intimacy it was causing a huge rift in our marriage. It also really is actually a gut wrenching feeling when I lie down next to him every night and I feel so unwanted and undesired by him. I have cried my self to sleep many many many times. And I know that I am a beautiful girl but feeling unwanted by your husband really makes you question everything. The pain is so severe to me sometimes my heart feels so heavy and sad. I pray through this as best as I can but I don't know why I am going through this and what I did wrong..... All I really want is just to feel wanted and desired intimately by him.

We do have sex but I stepped back from iniating and let him lead things in the bedroom but it just falls flat.... if he had his way he only approaches me about 1-2 times a week (which may seem fine or like a lot for some people) but to me we have talked about at least 3-4 times a weeks and I mean we are still young and even just newly married. It just seems like he is disinterested in it... the last thing we do after everything else is done around the house is have sex.... it is consistently the last thing on his mind. Its like there is an alarm clock in his head to only be intimate after we lay down for bed. Not like right after work or mid day on weekend.... On the days when he does not want to be intimate he still "tries" for my sake which I appreciate but it is so obvious that he doesn't want to. He sighs..... his eyes are closed as he is dosing off..... he basically is forcing himself to stay awake and and that point I am not turned on at all so what is even the point we end up going to sleep because I know he doesn't want me in that moment.... And really that's what is so extremely hurtful to me is just the not feeling wanted or desired. I mean if he just showed he was interested in me or desired me I don't think we would have these issues.

Another thing is that even when we have sex the majority of the time I feel like I am doing majority of pleasing to him which I love to do but its the same thing every night. I turn him on really good and pleasure him but when it comes to me it falls flat.... He either doesn't touch me at all or barely touches me for two seconds and wants just jump into sex. He doesn't do certain things which I do for him... Like he doesn't reciprocate it and nor does it seems like he has a desire to please just me. He just said and done all these hurtful things leaves me crying all night..... and like truthfully doesn't care... doesn't show barely any interest or desire in sex and I am left wondering why..... He says its because he is really tired but even back when we got married he always had an excuse.... so the tired thing was not always an issue. He has gotten upset at me multiple times for buying lingerie because "we don't have money" or a "waste of money" even though we have enough to buy a few outfits... its' just ridiculous. He says he likes the outfits but doesn't want to spend the money... And I love to buy lingerie it makes me feel sexy and desirable but even that is not good enough for him I guess.... even though he has apologized for this its stlll like.... cmon I thought guys loved when their girl wear lingerie and loved to have sex...

I asked him to be honest with me and tell me the truth and last night he said the same freakin thing that he always says "Likes variety and likes to cuddle" Or is just too tired... I feel absolutely so sad and alone. My heart is just broken, and I am tried of feeling worthless



Is your husband's job physically demanding or just time consuming? Is his diet a fast food diet or is he eating proper? Just some health issues that you may want to address.

A women responds to love and intimacy.....men respond to respect and authority. That's the way we are made.
Your husband may be going through a success dilemma. To be the provider he pictures he should be. What kind of people does he hang with at work? Or in his personal life?
Sometimes the challenge for the brass ring clouds our minds. Self worth creeps into our thoughts. We feel alone, unhappy and lost if we cannot be that provider. To top it off if your keeping score on who's the freakiest in bed doesn't help.
Try this..... Commend the simple things he does like...you admire how he wakes up everyday at the same time for work. How he dresses.
How he handles a situation. His hygiene. His finances. Things like this. Place him front and center as a person your learning from.
In other words become the weaker vessel. Looking for his input and wisdom. Self esteem drives a mans boat.
Step back and think for a moment are you stroking his ego..... unfortunately that's how we respond just ask God.
Or are you challenging him...which is one of the worst things you can do.
We are made different Adam from the dust....Eve from the rib.....we are not equal as the world wants you to believe.....we are different.
Women were created to help the man....and behind every successful man is a women.

36 yrs of marriage....and still learning from my bride......o how? I'm blessed😋😋

 

[AuntieAnt]

You said in the beginning of your relationship, he was excited to be with you. And you say he is still now able to engage in intimacy with you, though he does not initiate much. If he were secretly harboring homosexual desires, I don’t believe he’d be able to perform at all. Just my opinion. I don’t think he’s gay.

There are many other reasons to consider: low testosterone, drugs, unforgiveness, anger, stress, depression, PTSD, anxiety, fear, grief, etc. Or perhaps an undiagnosed medical issue is causing him pain, discomfort, embarrassment. Does he seem withdrawn from life? Does he show lack of energy outside of the bedroom? Maybe during your engagement, he got addicted to porn and now can’t perform without it. It could be a passive aggressive move on his part in order to have come semblance of control over his life. Is he embarrassed talking about sex? Perhaps some taboo thought has him distraught or confused and is preventing him from being free with you intimately. Men are just as complex as women in heart matters.

You said you went to counseling but evidently, that counselor was not successful, correct? I would seek out a reputable Christian marital counselor, and go together and separately. I think your husband needs to talk to another man by himself so he can be encouraged and professionally informed about his situation. Unfortunately, crying and getting angry only makes it worse and probably makes him feel sad and guilty.

But know this: I’m not blaming you, I’d be crying and carrying on, too! I’m just saying that he needs to get his problem taken care of so he doesn’t keep putting you in such a tormenting state of mind. The Bible says we’re not to withhold love and affection from our spouses because it DOES cause problems and puts us in temptation. It truly needs to be resolved soon as continually withholding sex from your spouse is a form of abandonment. God meant for wives & husbands to have plenty of sex. It’s not a taboo thing, it’s a beautiful gift from the Lord!

My dear sister, I pray in Jesus’ name the Lord give you the sweet and kind words to talk to your husband that he seeks counsel asap. I pray your husband truly knows you love him and want him and that he would desire to have a thrilling, fulfilling relationship with you and that he’d seek professional help.

 

[Genipher]

Low....T....in your 20's ? ? ?

That would mean you never had any !!!!

Mine is just now slowing down to where I only sit up 3X nights a week crying to God about not getting any.

You don't think a young man could have hormone problems? 🤔😕

 

[proverbs35]

My wife said much the same thing about the amount of sex post marriage. But I did virtually all the initiating for many yrs. It wasn't an issue of desiring. You should not think that. It probably has very little to do with you at all.

She had different ideas about what was alot than I did. Or at least once alot became alot other factors came in. She also WAS stressed from work and life and WAS tired. Our libidos are different. Even now. 25 yrs later.

Our roles have almost totally flipped! SHE is mostly the initiator now. Not only because I learned that it worked better for her to initiate, but her libido has now surpassed mine!

Don't stress about it. It's going to be ok. But I would counsel you to talk to him about what you would like him to do during sex. Men are pretty stupid so he probably won't figure it out on his own.

May God Bless you and your husband

Studies show that women have higher libdos in their middle years. There's science supporting that.

 

[Hungry]

What comes to my mind is that hes just overwhelmed and maybe just feeling under pressure.
How about just making some romantic nights where u just cuddle and u massage his back or so that he can just relax and let go.
Put up some soft scented candles and flowers and just spoil him and show him that its not all about sex.
Then u guys after a few times can talk about if there may be ways to spice things up, if maybe yall should take a weekend to go hiking or so
He needs to get his stress level low and feel home, instead of under pressure.
I cant promise u 4+ times sex a week but a change in appreciation and less tension.
Thats just my 2 cents

You always give such great advice. Every time I see you in a new pic I smile because your face is catching up with your wisdom.

 

[Hungry]

It's not an accusation! It's the truth! Men are wired differently than women! The average sexual frequency, according to both Kinsey and the NIH, for a young man is twice a week, which is a far cry from never!

I was not condemning or judging, just pointing out the husband is far from normal and needs help, not the OP. Sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage, to say nothing of procreation.

My advice is to stay out of conversations, Demi, that you know nothing about!

You are actually quite wrong and owe Demi an apology. It’s actually been reported that many if not MOST men in their twenties have less testosterone that men in their forties these days. Maybe skinny jeans? It doesn’t take a long stare to tell even physically low T is an issue. Maybe food, entertainment, or lack of physical labour, or even the psychological castration of the women’s lib movement caught up to the physical. Regardless it’s real. Stress and lack of sleep also takes a toll on the “twins”.

High cholesterol meds also play a factor. The body uses cholesterol to produce it. Stress causes T to degrade into estrogen. Long walks, jogging and long bike rides also decrease T.

Hey Tiger! Look at your husband naked. What’s his body hair like? Have you noticed if his gonads have shrunk (seriously it’s medically relevant)? Has he developed a soft chest, maybe too soft? No joke here, just that he would rather cuddle causes concern. Unless you are one heck of a cuddler, and you might be.

 

[Hungry]

He's dead shuvel the dirt in on him and have the funeral you have already grieved for him.

This might be the kind of insensitivity that ushers this into a woman’s only forum. We grew up in an era when casual sex wasn’t practised as much... but then again maybe you’re a hippy? What do I know? I’m telling you the first time I got to second base I was smiling for weeks. My buddy told me his son was getting all kinds of propositions in grade 7. The girls are looking for all kinds of sexual attention and boys just want to play video games.

 

[tiger903]

Hello everyone ,

First I want to say thank you to all of you for your concern and especially your prayers. That means a lot to me.

Secondly I noticed a lot back and forth and please don’t fight with each other over this. I don’t want to stir up any conflict here, let’s just remember we are all brothers and sisters inChrist (hopefully) and all of our remarks should be out of love...


Anyway as I was reading through comments some general remarks I wants to make here... I have suspected he has low T very early on, I asked him militple Times to see a doctor and he never did... i finally am putting my foot down though, and he told me he will make an appointment. He is fit and lean but not super muscular he is a very athletic guy, but he is spending less and less time being active I guess due to his schedule and being tired. He is not a very hairy person at all and he has facial hair but can’t grow a full beard not sure if that supports the low t suspicion or that is his genetics... He has very low energy in general I mean he really does he’s literally always complaining that he is tired and cannot sleep. I pretty much work / sleep the same amount hours and feel like I have much more energy than him... and I am pretty tired too but that doesn’t really interfere with my desire to be intimate

I understand that people have lower and higher drives , but ultimately men are supposed to have high sex drive. This is what really kinda hurts... naturally he is supposed to want sex more. ANd as I stated before something changed after we got married.... I don’t think hes gay... he responds to me sexually. It just the lack of wanting to be intimate. Like I said he kind of thinks of sex like it’s not that important or that it’s like on the back burner.... he just rather fall
Asleep with me and cuddle and that’s what he desires most ..

This is something that has really hurt me emotionally... and has really
Damaged my self esteem. It just seems likes He doesn’t really care. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like being intimate with him either. My desire to be with him just feels like it’s fading away. I know marriage is not all about the physical but there’s many instances even not physical ones where he just doesn’t seem to care for me emotionally. It’s really
Painful and I have thought about separation for awhile . Even still I’m am
Trying my best to make it work. Our counselor was a Christian married man and we went for about 6-8 weeks. He improved during the counseling but went right back to old ways afterwards.

It’s very painful , I feel like the only 24 yr old girl in the world that is dealing with this ridiculous problem....

 

[Demi777]

Hello everyone ,

First I want to say thank you to all of you for your concern and especially your prayers. That means a lot to me.

Secondly I noticed a lot back and forth and please don’t fight with each other over this. I don’t want to stir up any conflict here, let’s just remember we are all brothers and sisters inChrist (hopefully) and all of our remarks should be out of love...


Anyway as I was reading through comments some general remarks I wants to make here... I have suspected he has low T very early on, I asked him militple Times to see a doctor and he never did... i finally am putting my foot down though, and he told me he will make an appointment. He is fit and lean but not super muscular he is a very athletic guy, but he is spending less and less time being active I guess due to his schedule and being tired. He is not a very hairy person at all and he has facial hair but can’t grow a full beard not sure if that supports the low t suspicion or that is his genetics... He has very low energy in general I mean he really does he’s literally always complaining that he is tired and cannot sleep. I pretty much work / sleep the same amount hours and feel like I have much more energy than him... and I am pretty tired too but that doesn’t really interfere with my desire to be intimate

I understand that people have lower and higher drives , but ultimately men are supposed to have high sex drive. This is what really kinda hurts... naturally he is supposed to want sex more. ANd as I stated before something changed after we got married.... I don’t think hes gay... he responds to me sexually. It just the lack of wanting to be intimate. Like I said he kind of thinks of sex like it’s not that important or that it’s like on the back burner.... he just rather fall
Asleep with me and cuddle and that’s what he desires most ..

This is something that has really hurt me emotionally... and has really
Damaged my self esteem. It just seems likes He doesn’t really care. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like being intimate with him either. My desire to be with him just feels like it’s fading away. I know marriage is not all about the physical but there’s many instances even not physical ones where he just doesn’t seem to care for me emotionally. It’s really
Painful and I have thought about separation for awhile . Even still I’m am
Trying my best to make it work. Our counselor was a Christian married man and we went for about 6-8 weeks. He improved during the counseling but went right back to old ways afterwards.

It’s very painful , I feel like the only 24 yr old girl in the world that is dealing with this ridiculous problem....

Now that u said the thing with his hair not growing..yea that can really be that hes got low Testosterone. Just its nealy impossible to get a young man to go to the doc and get checked.
Ur not alone in this problem sis xx
Ill be prayinh for yall

 

[lightbearer]

Hi there friend!
As Christians we have a responsibility to one another even in this. Are you guys Christians?

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(1Co 7:2-5 KJV)

 

[Hungry]

Hello everyone ,

First I want to say thank you to all of you for your concern and especially your prayers. That means a lot to me.

Secondly I noticed a lot back and forth and please don’t fight with each other over this. I don’t want to stir up any conflict here, let’s just remember we are all brothers and sisters inChrist (hopefully) and all of our remarks should be out of love...


Anyway as I was reading through comments some general remarks I wants to make here... I have suspected he has low T very early on, I asked him militple Times to see a doctor and he never did... i finally am putting my foot down though, and he told me he will make an appointment. He is fit and lean but not super muscular he is a very athletic guy, but he is spending less and less time being active I guess due to his schedule and being tired. He is not a very hairy person at all and he has facial hair but can’t grow a full beard not sure if that supports the low t suspicion or that is his genetics... He has very low energy in general I mean he really does he’s literally always complaining that he is tired and cannot sleep. I pretty much work / sleep the same amount hours and feel like I have much more energy than him... and I am pretty tired too but that doesn’t really interfere with my desire to be intimate

I understand that people have lower and higher drives , but ultimately men are supposed to have high sex drive. This is what really kinda hurts... naturally he is supposed to want sex more. ANd as I stated before something changed after we got married.... I don’t think hes gay... he responds to me sexually. It just the lack of wanting to be intimate. Like I said he kind of thinks of sex like it’s not that important or that it’s like on the back burner.... he just rather fall
Asleep with me and cuddle and that’s what he desires most ..

This is something that has really hurt me emotionally... and has really
Damaged my self esteem. It just seems likes He doesn’t really care. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like being intimate with him either. My desire to be with him just feels like it’s fading away. I know marriage is not all about the physical but there’s many instances even not physical ones where he just doesn’t seem to care for me emotionally. It’s really
Painful and I have thought about separation for awhile . Even still I’m am
Trying my best to make it work. Our counselor was a Christian married man and we went for about 6-8 weeks. He improved during the counseling but went right back to old ways afterwards.

It’s very painful , I feel like the only 24 yr old girl in the world that is dealing with this ridiculous problem....

No, it’s not as uncommon as you might think. I’m sure it’s not just the frequency but the overall lack of interest even during that is painful. What does he do for work if you don’t mind me asking? Also you mentioned “variety”. Has he told you other things that make him more responsive? Low T can effect many areas of life. In all honesty, while most guys in their twenties have reported to have high libido, it has more to do with their lack of sex. Who is going to be more hungry, the guy who eats four times a day or the guy who eats once every two days. Even with high T, sex four times a week seems very plentiful. Imagine this: whats your favourite meal? If I gave you your favourite meal when you were starving it will be so much tastier than when you were full (low testosterone). If I gave you your favourite meal twice a week, it would be almost too frequent because you never got a chance to miss it (need of variety). Now still thinking of your favourite meal, if you had it twice a week, when you are already full. Soon it would be a chore to eat it (frequent sex with low T). You might not even look forward to it at all, whether hungry or not.

What you are going through sounds like every man after their wife has children. So the men here can probably relate more than the women. What profession are you in? Trust me, I wouldn’t complain about your libido, but it’s higher than most men’s. There was a “player” I worked with. When he finally settled, he told her three times a week manditory sex to keep him satisfied. Now, if that is the frequency to keep that guy who defines himself by his sexual appetite satisfied, then maybe the expectation you have for your husband is too high.

 

[lightbearer]

Hi Demi!

Now that u said the thing with his hair not growing..yea that can really be that hes got low Testosterone.

Body Hair is mostly genetic http://totalbodyhairrefusal.com/is-body-hair-genetic/ . Ever see an American Indian with a beard?

Just its nealy impossible to get a young man to go to the doc and get checked.

Yep! No news is good news...lol

 

[Hungry]

Now that u said the thing with his hair not growing..yea that can really be that hes got low Testosterone. Just its nealy impossible to get a young man to go to the doc and get checked.
Ur not alone in this problem sis xx
Ill be prayinh for yall

Even in their forties nobody wants a medical diagnosis that their manhood is low. Sorry to hear your husband has low T. I went to the doc when I noticed some things weren’t right with me. He confirmed I was just below normal levels and recommended hormone replacement therapy. I knew of the side effects so tried to take the natural route. Holy crap! I was doing exactly everything wrong. Between the training for the marathon I was doing and the sleep I sacrificed to train was probably more than enough to hit me where it hurts. I learned how to use diet and training to generate my own T and turned back the years. I look younger in my forties than I did in my earlier thirties. If I listened to the doc, there’s no way I’d have these results.

 

[Hungry]

Hi Demi!

If he’s an American Indian, you have a case.

 

[Demi777]

Even in their forties nobody wants a medical diagnosis that their manhood is low. Sorry to hear your husband has low T. I went to the doc when I noticed some things weren’t right with me. He confirmed I was just below normal levels and recommended hormone replacement therapy. I knew of the side effects so tried to take the natural route. Holy crap! I was doing exactly everything wrong. Between the training for the marathon I was doing and the sleep I sacrificed to train was probably more than enough to hit me where it hurts. I learned how to use diet and training to generate my own T and turned back the years. I look younger in my forties than I did in my earlier thirties. If I listened to the doc, there’s no way I’d have these results.

I think he has low T but idk. I can live with it. Hes often just way overstressed and works way too much.
I bet if he would eat healthier and stop some of his bad habits he would be in much better shape.
He always drinks loads of energy drinks, smokes and eats close to nothing many days or just a sandwich or so because its fast. And then working monday to friday 8hrs, saturday 4 and then from the afternoon until sometimes late at night. Then often helping people during the week after work.
So i cant blame him. Im too busy most of the time aswell

 

[GtrPkr]

You're both in your 20s, you both work long hours and still live with his parents... That would definitely be messing with "MY" head! What are your mutual goals? Where do you see yourselves two years from now? Do you both agree? Try focusing on something that's easy to accomplish together short term. Choose a small, simple, immediate problem and fix it together to get that sense of "teamwork" flowing again

 

[Hungry]

I think he has low T but idk. I can live with it. Hes often just way overstressed and works way too much.
I bet if he would eat healthier and stop some of his bad habits he would be in much better shape.
He always drinks loads of energy drinks, smokes and eats close to nothing many days or just a sandwich or so because its fast. And then working monday to friday 8hrs, saturday 4 and then from the afternoon until sometimes late at night. Then often helping people during the week after work.
So i cant blame him. Im too busy most of the time aswell

Yeah, sounds like self sabotage. Any of those things independently would lower T. Basically God explained it to me like this. He (God) designed T to fit the environment. If nutrition is poor, people are working long hrs with little benefit, T lowers to not over populate. The environment doesn’t support it. If nutrition is good and work is physically demanding, more workers needed. Ideal T, population increase. If your environment is hostile, very rigorous like fighting everyday, and your nutrition is good, high T. It increases aggression to help battle enemies and predators, and increases sex drive because this environment may have a high mortality rate.

I knew a guy at work who drank those energy drinks like mad. I told him he might want to dial back his consumption because they are a vascular constrictor. He said, “So!” Then I told him Viagra is a vascular dialator, which does the opposite, to which he responded, “Oh.”