What’s a man to do?

[Doodahdad]

God bless all....
I am in a quandary and would welcome some input. I am a family man and the sole bread winner in our home. I work for a ‘major luxury auto line’ ( brand omitted on purpose) as a ‘service consultant’. For those of you who do not understand what that is, I am the person folks come see when they need service or when something is wrong with their car.

I have been doing this for over 35 years, and many of those years have been difficult financially due to the nature of the car business, but as the years have passed I have become more successful and the position I am currently in is the most successful I have ever been throughout my career.

‘So what’s the problem?’ May be your question right? Well, let me tell you. Unless you have been in this position, it’s hard to relate but this has to be the most thankless job in the world. Almost everyone you come in contact with is mad at you because their car is broke, without considering you had nothing to do with the manufacturing or the design, and most often dont even care. And with the luxury car line the level of entitlement skyrockets and people can be most unpleasant to deal with ... making it even more difficult to face on a daily basis, especially for a Christian man who strives to serve God and treat people with love as He commands. I believe I am just getting worn out....

‘Then why do you still do it??’ .... and this is my dilemma. This position is all I have ever done for 35 years, and have considered many times about changing careers, but the money I bring into the family is incredibly difficult to replace and I don’t have the education or skill set to move into a position that would bring in the same amount of income. With the struggle my family has had to endure over the years while I have been in this business, I cannot ask them to accept returning to that level of struggle ... I know scripture says that a man that does not take care of his family is worse than an unbeliever... and my family is everything to me. I have prayed about it because I feel trapped and depressed and not sure what to do...

I would welcome your thoughts...

 

[Dino246]

Welcome to CC!
That's an interesting quandary. God is providing for your family, but He doesn't guarantee to do so at the level you presently enjoy. One thing He does promise is to be with you, and that you "can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you". So, first... whatever you decide to do, take your time with it. Don't jump out of the airplane without a parachute on, so to speak. Pray, discuss with your wife, ask trusted friends to pray and share what they are sensing.

With regard to your workplace struggles specifically, I suspect you are somewhat restricted in your workplace, such that you can't share the gospel openly. So, as long as you remain there, be a witness by your attitude. Learn how to deflect the ire of your customers (I suspect you could write the course though), not receive it personally, and respond with patient grace. Someone has to be in that thankless role, so who better than someone whose identity and worth do not come from it, who is empowered from above to fulfill the role?

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Let me first fill you in as to how I can eympathize with your situation.
25 year in construction, structural steel mostly colleges and hospitals. It's a thankless job. Every interaction is a conflict, owners, engineers, contractors, all poised to defend their position. I missed a meeting today where an owner wanted to tell me what he didn't like about previous projects, because I was scrubbing drawings to make as built drawings for a job finished a couple of years ago design changes because constructability issues.
So we understand each other, now. I felt the very same way but I learned something; we are not here to build buildings or fix cars these things are futility (read Ecclesiastes). We are here to serve God and that is the only source of happiness. In short find a way to serve, preach, teach, evangelize, gets the gospel out. Serving God has meaning. Working a job to pay bills so that you can work some more and pay more bills is futility. I don't care about buildings. I care about God, and delivering his word to people. So study, pray, read, share what you learn with others.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

By the way I still build buildings, that pays the bills, but I preach and teach, and exhort, and build up others and usher them into the Kingdom.

 

[TabinRivCA]

I agree with the others here. Your attitude in dealing with these entitled people may, in some, strike a note. We won't know til we get to Heaven what a patient attitude, an understanding (while restrained, lol) nod or a peaceful gesture might ignite in someone else. Pray that the Lord give you the gift of peacekeeper as well as dedicated provider. God bless and b w/you in this challenge, Amen.

 

[NayborBear]

Hat's off to you, sir!
Realizing how hard it must be, in keeping a smiling face, while facing the "ire", of the "dog eat dog" world, of the financially affluent! Ire, being an understatement, in most cases!
Reminds me of what the difference is between a porcupine and BMW!

Best advice I could give is "Keep The Faith" Baby! KEEP THE FAITH!

 

[Hungry]

Weren’t you dealing with similar issues while making less money prior? I get that these people may feel entitled. Usually the assumption is that when you pay more for something, it should be more reliable. Have you considered your 35 year career has made you complacent and you are just stagnant? When you work for just money (not passion) and you are earning more than enough, you lose your ambition. As well, these people you serve are probably getting to be on the younger side. Nobody likes being yelled at by someone much younger. I think you just need to put things in perspective. They don’t care why their car is faulty, they just want it fixed. You have the opportunity to make someone’s day. My wife works in oncology. She didn’t cause someone’s cancer. When people show up for treatment some are sad, some are scared and some are angry. She and the other nurses just try to make them feel better while they get treated. Many are extremely thankful. Instead of thinking that these people are there to make you miserable, understand that your company has let them down, and they just want to get back to their lives. Keep some Snickers on hand, if not for them, for yourself.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

I worked in customer service, for many years, like you, and what I learned is~it's a job. It's not my life's dream: It's a means to an end, nothing more. If someone asks me what my dream job would be, my reply is, "To not need a job at all". Compartmentalize your life. Your job isn't personal to you or them. Consider it acting, and it won't become personal, and the snippy customers won't seem so bad. I used to use funny voices, Brittish accents (terrible ones at that), I wore clown noses and bright colored clothing, flashing light earrings whatever I could find to make my outfit seem fun. The customers aren't mad at you, they're just mad at their car, and you're the lucky one being paid to listen to them, so maybe find your own ways to make it more fun. Find your joy in Christ, bring this issue to Christ, and let your job become just a means to an end.

 

[Doodahdad]

....thanks brothers and sisters, some very good advise here... I guess the part I failed to mention that at 56 years old and the demands that come with this job between the hours and the stress, I am also concerned about the toll it takes on my health, I want to be there for my family as long as possible, but at my age my options become even more limited...

As for the comment from Hungry:

"Weren’t you dealing with similar issues while making less money prior? I get that these people may feel entitled. Usually the assumption is that when you pay more for something, it should be more reliable. "

In any other position I might agree with that, but with this job, the honest answer is no. I have worked for many different automotive brands, and believe me there is a huge difference between a hardworking blue collar person that drives a Chevy truck and appreciates what he/she has, opposed to a person that drives a very expensive automobile and feels that it literally defines who they are as a person, and they swallow it hook line and sinker whether they can afford the car or not. And part of that lie is that if you pay more for something that its higher quality... let me tell you these cars break at least often as other, lesser expensive cars, only they break bigger.

What makes the situation worse is the car manufactures have gone a long ways in planting this seed of thought into consumers minds, that simply by driving this vehicle it makes them a better (and more important) person, so why would they not want to buy one?? The problem becomes when they go the extra step and make their issues personal, which happens more frequently in this auto line than others. And, as anyone in a customer service position knows, 'the customer is always right', even when they're wrong... and the car business has become so competitive that there is very little that can be said in return other than rolling over and exposing your belly without jeopardizing your position with the company. But I have come to realize that these people literally 'worship' these cars and the status they feel it gives them, and that little round symbol on the grille they admire becomes nothing more than idolatry... and I realize I am in the middle of Egypt. I know it might seem so simple to overcome when observing from a distance, but when standing in the face of a client's onslaught sometimes it can be very difficult not to take it at least a little personally.

Dino246 was correct in saying that I cannot speak the Word openly to my clients, especially to the extremely liberal/progressive city/company that I live in and work for, but I do attempt to minister to people thru my actions and not my words. But I do agree with the theme that all of you have been suggesting, that thru prayer and meditation, and keeping 'the full armor of God' on at all times, God has and will always get me through. But as the time gets closer to the Lord's return and people become increasingly evil as ii Timothy 2 speaks about, I know it will likely only continue to get worse....

**One foot note, please forgive me if any of you drive one of these vehicles, because I know that not everyone who drives a car like this automatically falls into this category, especially anyone who loves and serves God... and I do have a few clients who are kind and that I enjoy seeing.

 

[Didymous]

I have a couple of thoughts about this. I worked for years in construction, and my last job was as a valet at a casino. I would get tired and depressed when I forgot that any work I did was as unto the Lord, in His name and for His glory. When I forgot that rude people were likely lost people, they would wear me down, but when I remembered, I could feel love and compassion for them. I pray that you will find God's peace about your concerns-in His name.

 

[Doodahdad]

Hi Didymous, you are correct of course that some of these peole are indeed lost... and the sad part is that my position does not permit me to minister to them.... I guess I have determined that the closer I get to God, the more it bothers me.... someone in the thread had suggested that perhaps I am growing weary of my position, and I believe there is some truth to that... the problem i find myself faced with is either to stay in this position and battle from day to day so I can make angoodnliving for my family, or seek a different position that would not pay as well and potentially cause my family hardship, which I don’t want to do ...

 

[Kim82]

Look at the positive side. Unemployment is worst.

 

[Doodahdad]

Agreed Kim82 .... and please understand that I do not want to come across as being unthankful ... I am very grateful for everything the Father does for me, but I am not convinced that this job is what His purpose is for me either....

 

[GardenofWeeden]

Agreed Kim82 .... and please understand that I do not want to come across as being unthankful ... I am very grateful for everything the Father does for me, but I am not convinced that this job is what His purpose is for me either....

Your purpose is simply to follow God. Your job is just a job. To me, it's your pride demanding you make a certain amount of money, so your family doesn't have to lower their standards, petting their pride too. My advice is: Get over your pride, and then look at your job.

 

[Doodahdad]

Wow.. I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you Weeden ... it’s not about pride at all ... it’s about making sure my family is taken care of. If it was about making enough money to obtain stuff or have an appearance of status as some do, perhaps I would agree with you. My family and I actually live fairly modestly and are not into acquiring wealth... so no, I lovingly reject your opinion that I am being prideful ... but I appreciate your thoughts...

 

[Doodahdad]

.... to add to that thought, what I do work for is so that my family will want for nothing, and I am not talking about possessions but the things they need ... like good health care which can get very expensive, a comfortable but modest home (not new/expensive...built in 1969 but clean and well cared for), not to mention clothing and food... all of those take a decent income, and not a minimum wage job at McDonald’s . And as to your comment about following God, I am quite confident that I am doing so to the best of my ability... there is fruit in my life and a great deal that I am thankful for....

 

[Dan58]

Everyone gets sick of their jobs, and few jobs provide happy thankful customers. But money talks, it pays the bills and provides for your family, and that your first priority.. That said, you can always venture off and explore other means of income, without quitting where your at now. If you've got the energy and ambition, there are usually other opportunities, but changing careers is never easy. Maybe cut back on your current occupation to pursue another, but don't give up your current position until your relatively certain you've secured something confirmable. I run a business but am trying to flip houses on the side, and it ain't easy.. Good luck

 

[Miri]

To the OP, I hate to say this but any service industry where you deal with the
public, has its ups and downs. I’ve have a few jobs now dealing with the public.
You get shouted at, sworn at, pressured to do things their way, mountains of work.
Targets to meet, deadlines galore.

You sound like you have a lot of car knowledge. Is there some other car related
business you can get into? I would have thought there was.

I have a family member who drove lorries for years then he got into the car selling
business. Now he buys used cars and manages the budget for the company he works
for and is given millions of pounds to buy cars for upgrading and selling. He also
manages the car salesmen but personally has little to do with the general public
as he is now in a more managerial role. He is 59 and only swapped roles 7 years ago.

Hello by the way and nice to meet you.

 

[Doodahdad]

Hello Miri, nice to meet you as well!!

It you sure nailed the customer service world perfectly!! I have given a great deal of thought to a parallel position as you are correct, that I have amassed a great deal of automotive knowledge over the years but as Dan58 points out, changing careers is never easy. The trick for he has been trying to figure out how to do it without losing momentum financially... I have management experience as well, but even management positions elsewhere many times require a college degree which I don’t have (one of the advantages to the car biz I guess..)

 

[GardenofWeeden]

Wow.. I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you Weeden ... it’s not about pride at all ... it’s about making sure my family is taken care of. If it was about making enough money to obtain stuff or have an appearance of status as some do, perhaps I would agree with you. My family and I actually live fairly modestly and are not into acquiring wealth... so no, I lovingly reject your opinion that I am being prideful ... but I appreciate your thoughts...

When did it become your job to take care of your family, and not God's? Your purpose is to love God. But hey you're free to disagree. It's cool. Peace!