Single and Saved!
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lol why did you post it! 
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That would be ideal but how would you contain your feelings for that person? And what if while you're being friends and getting to know if they're right for you, the person becomes interested in someone else, or another woman asks him out and starts dating him? If you try to make your feelings known then, you might be accused of trying to start drama. What would you do then? Would you just have to let go and look for someone else after investing all that time in this person? None of us are getting any younger. Just something to think about.
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H
Yeah. A lot of people, especially in church, advise being friends first but that also lead to other bad or awkward moments. That seems maybe an okay approach when you are younger or see each other every day at school or something. But this just seems to be a “friend zone” situation in the making.
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Great question. Maybe I'm being a bit naive concerning all this. Never dated a man before. I would contain my feelings for them until I trusted them completely and knew them for at least a couple of years. Better be safe than sorry. If he starts dating someone else, then it wasn't meant to be. If he started dating someone else, i wouldn't make my feelings known. That's not really fair to him or his girl. I believe that God has changed my heart for a reason. I think that He probably has someone in mind for me as He is very thorough in His planning.
Maybe I'm being a bit naive concerning all this. Never dated a man before. I would contain my feelings for them until I trusted them completely and knew them for at least a couple of years. Better be safe than sorry. If he starts dating someone else, then it wasn't meant to be. If he started dating someone else, i wouldn't make my feelings known. That's not really fair to him or his girl. I believe that God has changed my heart for a reason. I think that He probably has someone in mind for me as He is very thorough in His planning.
Nah, it's not anyone's place to tell you the "right" way. Because there is no single right way. I once knew a woman that didn't date her entire life, into her 40s, yet found someone and married them.
I also knew someone that dated everyone they could find before getting married.
Neither do I recommend because it was a lot of drama. And the first isn't intended for everyone. But if you choose either that doesn't make you "wrong".
Personally I'm a fan of the friends first approach as well, though, personally, going Years without any expression of interest will likely leave you watching guy after guy go off with others, if they don't ask you. It's not wrong but it's worth reconsidering.
Some guys don't care for a woman speaking up, some aren't phased by it.
But I suspect at this point it's not ideal to decide now. How you feel now may change as you grow and understand more. I'm sure some of this will be a thread of questions eventually.
I also knew someone that dated everyone they could find before getting married.
Neither do I recommend because it was a lot of drama. And the first isn't intended for everyone. But if you choose either that doesn't make you "wrong".
Personally I'm a fan of the friends first approach as well, though, personally, going Years without any expression of interest will likely leave you watching guy after guy go off with others, if they don't ask you. It's not wrong but it's worth reconsidering.
Some guys don't care for a woman speaking up, some aren't phased by it.
But I suspect at this point it's not ideal to decide now. How you feel now may change as you grow and understand more. I'm sure some of this will be a thread of questions eventually.
Nah, it's not anyone's place to tell you the "right" way. Because there is no single right way. I once knew a woman that didn't date her entire life, into her 40s, yet found someone and married them.
I also knew someone that dated everyone they could find before getting married.
Neither do I recommend because it was a lot of drama. And the first isn't intended for everyone. But if you choose either that doesn't make you "wrong".
Personally I'm a fan of the friends first approach as well, though, personally, going Years without any expression of interest will likely leave you watching guy after guy go off with others, if they don't ask you. It's not wrong but it's worth reconsidering.
Some guys don't care for a woman speaking up, some aren't phased by it.
But I suspect at this point it's not ideal to decide now. How you feel now may change as you grow and understand more. I'm sure some of this will be a thread of questions eventually.
I also knew someone that dated everyone they could find before getting married.
Neither do I recommend because it was a lot of drama. And the first isn't intended for everyone. But if you choose either that doesn't make you "wrong".
Personally I'm a fan of the friends first approach as well, though, personally, going Years without any expression of interest will likely leave you watching guy after guy go off with others, if they don't ask you. It's not wrong but it's worth reconsidering.
Some guys don't care for a woman speaking up, some aren't phased by it.
But I suspect at this point it's not ideal to decide now. How you feel now may change as you grow and understand more. I'm sure some of this will be a thread of questions eventually.
What do you mean when you say "Some guys don't care for a woman speaking up, some aren't phased by it." Like I know what the words mean lol but I don't know what you're referencing. (Oh do you mean asking a man out?)
Lol ya for sure I'll be back on here with all kinds of dating questions in due time. Gotta say I like it here. Very nice people.
Either asking them out or simply stating how you feel. While I've never sought out such people (how would you know for sure?) but seem to have met a surprising number of women that speak up in regards to romantic interest. It's never bothered me, but some guys would be put off by it and find it a turn off.
But romance is, essentially, built on risk. Whether it's you or him that speaks up first someone has to take a risk. Even agreeing to go out is a risk, especially if a friendship is already established.
Some will say if the woman mentions it first gives her more power over him and she will take over as "the head of the relationship", which is unbiblical.
But I can attest, first hand, that's not true. Or at least not in my cases.
Let it be your decision not what someone tells you their opinion is fact.
But romance is, essentially, built on risk. Whether it's you or him that speaks up first someone has to take a risk. Even agreeing to go out is a risk, especially if a friendship is already established.
Some will say if the woman mentions it first gives her more power over him and she will take over as "the head of the relationship", which is unbiblical.
But I can attest, first hand, that's not true. Or at least not in my cases.
Let it be your decision not what someone tells you their opinion is fact.
H
My statement might have been a little stronger than I meant, but years is probably a bit much to wait. I guess when I hear being friends first, I tend to think of the “nice” approach where someone becomes friends while pining for someone else and never takes the risk of asking the other one out.
That’s potentially a bit different than getting to know someone a bit first.
Based on your other posts you seem to be a bit young and don’t know much about guys. I would consider being open to being asked out sooner than two years 😛. But it does seem like you might have some other things to work on before being ready for that.
As far as asking guys out; I have heard some guys don’t respond well to it. I imagine those are the more “traditional” types? I don’t think I would mind. I know the risk of rejection from asking people out so I’d have some appreciation for the woman asking just from that perspective if nothing else.
I do sometimes think in Christian circles women can confuse being available to interaction with perusing; which can make things difficult with Christians. The ones I did ask out or enjoyed getting to know made their interest someone known. Well, or at least displayed a detail level of openness to my approach.
That’s potentially a bit different than getting to know someone a bit first.
Based on your other posts you seem to be a bit young and don’t know much about guys. I would consider being open to being asked out sooner than two years 😛. But it does seem like you might have some other things to work on before being ready for that.
As far as asking guys out; I have heard some guys don’t respond well to it. I imagine those are the more “traditional” types? I don’t think I would mind. I know the risk of rejection from asking people out so I’d have some appreciation for the woman asking just from that perspective if nothing else.
I do sometimes think in Christian circles women can confuse being available to interaction with perusing; which can make things difficult with Christians. The ones I did ask out or enjoyed getting to know made their interest someone known. Well, or at least displayed a detail level of openness to my approach.