Yes I agree 1,000%. I do too, but do you also see how we got to the root of the problem here, it really raised a red flag when Budman spoke of the "works for salvation/as evidence of salvation" like they were interchangeable and the same argument, as if they aren't two COMPLETELY different things. Then the whole "if works are evidence of salvation, are the Mormons saved" argument was very telling because that is a argument solely from the flesh. Almost every argument he is making seemed to be coming from the same "fleshly foundation" as well. And I understand, I too felt the same way before the old man was put to death and by Gods grace I was granted repentance and was born again, my spirit was made alive and reconciled to His Spirit. and like you said "And I need God's grace and power EVERY step of the way.", couldn't agree more and will and that this is also why He gets all credit, these "works" are a direct result of our new nature, they are the "side effect" of being spiritual born again, you are now "that e=which is born of the Spirit, by His grace and now anything I do is His to claim all the glory for, any "work" I do I only do by His power and He rightfully gets all the credit, and I am still in complete awe that He is so overwhelmingly "GOOD!!!", only God is good, and I praise Him in Jesus name.
That is the only way I can see these things, the only way any of us see these things, and when we hear things like "the old man is put to death sometime later", or the only other example I can think of when I actually said "you are not saved if ______", was when a professing Christian said that the Father did not put the wrath due to Him on Jesus, that Jesus wasn't crushed by the Father for his sin, and that the very idea of God punishing Jesus for pour sin would make God a monster. Really. I told him that if Jesus didn't paid his price, then God wrath was still abiding on him. I truly hope I am not giving the impression at all I am claiming I or anyone other than Jesus is or was sinless.
I know we are being sanctified and your post describes it beautifully, but this I also see as Budmans "go to, gotcha" deception, almost like his very foundation, the question "but you still sin right?", to which we always have to say "yes", but this is not even what I'm speaking about, and count how many times he ask it. the thing is I agree we still sin, I never once suggested we didn't it just seems you get offended by the suggestion the Jesus changes peoples whole nature and this changes results in "works" Oh the dreaded word, I mean we can't promote working for Jesus, no sir. I just see this as ridiculous. The problem I see here is the whole message is, "Once saved always saved, repeat this prayer, okay your in and remember first and foremost we will still always sin. There can be no change in you and remember works is the worst thing a Christian can do, just kick back and remember "You still sin". I just think this is a set up for a church full of well meaning false converts, like "I was for a good long while". I remember why this was so appealing, and while I don't believe this is how they thing about it, and I was being a bit tongue cheek, I felt this way for 5 years without knowing Him. I hope it was also made apparent where his misunderstanding are and God was just using this to grow him in truth. More than that I pray God shows him I was only saying these things in love because there was an apparent breakdown in his spiritual understanding of the truth.
To be honest I hate the back and forth on here endlessly over every single detail (of course this holds true anywhere people talk about anything online, not just "here"), and really never even listening to each other and both attacking straw men . I truly find face to face interaction to be on such a higher level that I have honestly been all but ignoring online chat completely, but this conversation has kind of reminded me that God uses all things for His glory, and that maybe He can grow me in this way as well, regardless it's all for His glory. Have a great day brother, and may He draw you and your family closer everyday, in Jesus name. Amen.